What Are the Stages of the No Contact Rule? (In-Depth) (2024)

While it might initially seem negative, please bear with me for a moment. This situation will actually prove detrimental for them, making them, in some ways, quite unlucky. The thing is, in the early stages of no contact, they often feel relief, sometimes even happiness. They're filled with anticipation for what they believe will be a fantastic new chapter in their lives. They see opportunities on the horizon and feel liberated from their past...Sometimes, they convince themselves that you were the source of their unhappiness (this is, of course, not true. Evil people do not read my blog. If you're reading this, there's a 99.92% chance you're empathetic and kind). They might even communicate this belief to you, and it's painful to hear. However, what will ultimately hurt them is the realization they'll confront later: they are the architects of their own unhappiness.

But now, they feel confident; they've achieved their objective. They had the strength and courage to end the relationship. It's worth noting that the person who initiates the breakup usually mentally prepares for it. Sometimes this preparation lasts months or even years before they decide to part ways. Right now, you both stand at opposite ends of the power spectrum: they're in a position of strength, while you feel vulnerable; they've moved on from the relationship, but you might still yearn for it.

And, if you're in no contact, they'll notice that you've ceased efforts to win back their affection. Still, they don't begin to worry immediately. Nevertheless, a renewed respect for you might start to develop...

What Are the Stages of the No Contact Rule? (In-Depth) (2024)

FAQs

What are the stages of the no contact rule? ›

During the no contact period, the ex-partner usually experiences a journey through five stages - Relief, Worry, Anger, Worry/Nostalgia, and Regret. These stages reflect their reactions to the shifting power dynamics. It is important to note that these "stages" are mere simplifications of the underlying psychology.

What stage of no contact is the hardest? ›

The hardest phase is staying silent,blocking them,ignoring them and you still see them doing great without you…that is the hardest and most painful part. but you'll still be doing yourself a big favor if you blocked them and cut off all contact with them ..

Is 21 days enough for no contact? ›

Now, why is the 21-day no contact period important? Well, firstly, so that we can get space so we can begin the healing process. It's certainly not going to take 21 days, it's likely to take significantly longer than that.

What is the no contact schedule? ›

The no contact rule is exactly how it sounds—not communicating with your ex for a set period of time, usually around 30-60 days. Using the no contact rule can help you move on from your ex, or you can use it to win your ex back.

What are the 5 stages of grief no contact? ›

They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.

What breaks the no contact rule? ›

What does it mean to break no contact? The no contact rule is when you go a long period of time without communicating with your ex. So, to break the no contact rule, you simply have to communicate with your ex, whether that's via text, messenger, or talking in person.

How long does it take a guy to realize he wants you back? ›

If you had an intense, serious relationship that lasted over 6 years, it might take him less than 8 weeks to miss you because you were such a big part of his life. If you had a casual relationship that only lasted a couple of months, he might hit you up a couple of months later, but it's more likely he'll just move on.

Is my ex thinking about me during no contact? ›

If you're wondering if an ex still thinks about you, the answer is probably yes. This is simply because we create deep bonds with the people we have relationships with, and our memories of our former partners don't just disappear after a breakup.

How long no contact before ex reaches out? ›

1 For an amicable breakup: around 30 days. 2 For a long-term relationship: at least 60 days. 3 If things got ugly at the end: roughly 90 days. 4 For an especially toxic separation: indefinitely.

What does a guy think during no contact? ›

He'll wonder if you miss him at all.

He might even go so far as to think you're already seeing someone else if he can't get in touch or see you on social media. This is a very uncomfortable time for him. He's struggling to understand why you're not responding to his texts, or what you might be feeling in return.

What to say after 30 days of no contact? ›

I wish you all the best.” “This break helped me process what happened and helped me realize I'm ready to move on. I think this will be our last contact, so I hope things go well for you.” “Wanted to let you know I'm moving out-of-state next week and getting a fresh start on things.

How to stay strong during no contact? ›

Here are a few tips to help you to maintain your distance.
  1. Write a letter to yourself. ...
  2. Give yourself room to grieve. ...
  3. Make a list of every terrible thing your partner ever did. ...
  4. Start a self-care list. ...
  5. Have a breakup buddy. ...
  6. Work on yourself. ...
  7. Start a new hobby. ...
  8. Give yourself some structure.
Sep 25, 2022

What stages do guys go through during no contact? ›

After things start to settle down, the male mind, during the no-contact phase, starts to look for your presence in his life. He slowly starts to miss you and your presence in his life. As time passes, his longing for you grows, and he feels deep pain and anguish inside himself!

What is she thinking after 3 weeks of no contact? ›

She will wonder if you're thinking about her or if you're taking time to reflect upon your role in the breakup. She will also wonder if you ever really loved her or are missing her. During this time, she'll have a deep sense of confusion as she tries to decide whether breaking up was right.

How long does it take a man to miss you after no contact? ›

So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.

How long does no contact usually take? ›

While you typically want to wait 30-90 days, it totally depends on you. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to recovering from a tough breakup. If your 30 or 60 or whatever number of days passes and you don't really feel ready to move on, then don't.

What is he thinking after 2 weeks of no contact? ›

After weeks of no word, he might begin to panic about losing you. He's been hoping and hoping you'll talk to him, but now he's realizing he'll be a permanent ex if he doesn't do something. He'll reflect deeply and, if he wants you back, make a plan to win you over.

What stages dumper goes through during no contact? ›

The stages an ex goes through during no contact are relief, curiosity, concern, and contact. These are stages that an ex will usually go through while you are using the no contact rule.

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