Ask a Guy: "Does The Silent Treatment Work?" (2024)

There are some questions about men that only a guy can answer. We asked the dudes at guyspeak.com (read more about them here), for their take on this dating conundrum:

Ask a Guy: "Does The Silent Treatment Work?" (1)

Q: Does the silent treatment work on guys?

Side profile of a young couple lying on a bed

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No. It's passive-aggressive and stupid. It's like a child holding his breath until he gets what he wants. You're saying to the other person, "I don't want to address our problems, so I'm just going to shut you out until I get my way." If anything, the silent treatment makes things worse. Resentments build up, issues get unresolved. The person you're snubbing feels hurt and confused, and either does everything in their power to get you to start talking to them again or gets angry and, in turn, snubs you back. So then you've got two people who aren't communicating and no one wins.

In a relationship or friendship, the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's shutting someone out, and refusing to address an issue or a grievance. Often, people who use the silent treatment don't even tell the person they're snubbing what they've done wrong. They just sit and pout until the other person asks them what's wrong. The person being shut out feels hurt, abandoned and like their words are falling on deaf ears. If the other person is trying to communicate and fix the problem and you're snubbing them, they're doing all the work.

Nothing good can come from shunning or ostracizing someone you love just to get what you want. We preach communication here more than anything else. In an argument, the only way to win is to plead your case. If you're forcing them to give in just to get you to talk to them, are you really winning? You haven't proved your point—you're just being a giant baby. That seems like more of a Pyrrhic victory. Using the silent treatment will only lead to more anger and resentment while further driving a wedge between you and your partner.

--Written by Nick Nadel for guyspeak.comHow do you communicate with your guy when you're upset? Have you ever give your guy the cold shoulder?

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Ask a Guy: "Does The Silent Treatment Work?" (2024)

FAQs

Ask a Guy: "Does The Silent Treatment Work?"? ›

Does the silent treatment work? Giving someone the silent treatment will make that person loathe you as well as thinking you are a very childish and immature individual. It doesn't fix or lessen the problem. It also signifies you are not prepared to maturely face the issue dividing you.

Does giving a guy the silent treatment work? ›

In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.

How long will a man give you the silent treatment? ›

The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.

How effective is the silent treatment? ›

Silent-treatment inflictors do it because, as the sailors discovered, it was devastatingly effective in imposing pain on the recipient. So much pain, in fact, that it can leave a person scarred and a relationship in ruins.

Does silence work on a guy? ›

Men typically respond better to nonverbal cues and actions rather than words. This is because men are more action-oriented and tend to be less emotional than women. As a result, when women use silence and distance as a means of communication, men are more likely to respond positively to it.

What kind of man uses the silent treatment? ›

Individuals with abusive tendencies sometimes use the silent treatment as a tool to shame, punish or manipulate. Individuals who don't intend to cause harm sometimes resort to the practice when they're overwhelmed, unable to cope with conflict or struggle to communicate painful feelings.

Does he come back after silent treatment? ›

Neither the silent treatment nor the begging will bring him back if he is already emotionally detached to the relationship. If someone in your life wants to leave - LET HIM GO! Move on for yourself. Love yourself.

Does silent treatment make a man miss you? ›

Will he miss me if I don't contact him? When you go silent on a man, it makes him miss you and think of how to return to you. Indeed, silence after a breakup is usually frustrating and confusing for anybody, let alone for a man. Men respond to silence and distance emotionally.

How do men feel when a woman goes silent? ›

Your partner's silence can make you feel unworthy and resentful to the extent that you begin to ask why is she silent all of a sudden, that is what a silent treatment is.

What to do instead of silent treatment? ›

Some responses you can give instead of the silent treatment:
  1. I just need a minute.
  2. I'm going to take some time before we come back to this conversation, but I would like us to talk about it soon if that's ok with you.
Mar 7, 2024

What to text a guy who has gone quiet? ›

If you're tired of being left on read, here are twelve texts to send.
  • It was nice getting to know you. ...
  • I had fun getting dinner last week! ...
  • I've been enjoying getting to know you, but I lose interest when contact lags. ...
  • I feel sad and confused by you going silent on me.
Jan 6, 2022

What happens when you don't react to silent treatment? ›

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time.

Does silent treatment hurt a man? ›

Being left in silence can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting.

How long does it take for a man to miss you after no contact? ›

How long does it take for him to miss you? On average, it takes about 8 weeks for him to miss you. This is the general basis for the 8-week no-contact rule, which states that you should go at least 8 weeks without any contact after a breakup to allow each other time to heal and grieve the loss of the relationship.

How to make a man miss you? ›

Create space between you and him.

A great way to get him to miss you is to create space between the two of you. If you spend every minute of the weekend with him, start carving out time to spend away from him. Spend a Friday night at home alone or with friends instead of hanging out with your man.

How to give silent treatment to a guy? ›

If you are giving someone the silent treatment, it can be effective to ignore these forms of communication, as well. If you do reply, you could take much longer to get back to them than you normally would. Again, you can alert this person to your silence. Say, “This isn't a good time to talk.

How long does it take a man to miss you? ›

On average, it takes about 8 weeks for him to miss you.

For most men, it takes about this long for them to process the loss and discover that they miss you. Men usually go into denial mode immediately after a breakup, so it might take him a week or two to even realize that you're gone for good.

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