A kiss isn’t just a kiss
3 min read · Jun 18, 2022
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When I was nine years old, I vowed never to kiss my mother again. I thought this was a good way to punish her.
At first glance, it may seem like I was the manipulator in this situation. However, I was only a kid trying to get her mother’s attention.
It turned out that I wasn’t punishing her; I was playing into her hands.
Since my mother is a narcissist, my plan backfired.
My mother wasn’t one of those mothers who smothered her child with attention and affection, quite the opposite.
And by my withholding, I took the pressure off of her to pretend to be a loving parent. Narcissists tend to kiss only when it helps them get something they want.
I kept my promise for a year, and my mother rejected me when I tried kissing her again.
Now, decades later, my mother insists on shaking hands with everyone, including her blood relatives, which is both awkward and strange.
Shaking hands is what you do with a business associate, not a parent.
I only recently learned that narcissists dislike kissing, but once I did, something clicked. Past behaviors started to make sense, especially my mother’s…
