For some of us, sitting in silence with another person feels, well, kind of awkward. We’ll say anything to fill the quiet, to keep the conversation going, to cut the tension. But the truth is, moments of silence with significant others aren’t a problem; in fact, they can be very good. Silence gets a bad rap for being boring; in fact, in a relationship—especially a long-term relationship like a marriage or domestic partnership—it should be the most comfortable thing in the world.
Sure, in the early days of dating it’s normal to want to keep the conversation going. It's natural to be nervous about a lull in the banter when you're first learning about each other and discovering what you have in common. But in a long-term relationship, in a partnership, and in a marriage, silence should feel natural. Instead of being scared of running out of things to say, it's important to embrace the quieter moments.
That doesn't mean sitting in silence together all the time—that would be a sign that something's probably off. But sharing moments of silence with your significant other is an important part of a healthy relationship. Here’s why you should embrace those quiet moments with your significant other.
It Shows a Level of Ease With Each Other
Are you a nervous talker? At a party, when meeting someone new, or at a job interview, do you find yourself talking too much? Think about the contrast of those experiences against when you're with your partner—you're likely more at ease, which can result in less talking. It doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to talk about; it just means that you feel comfortable enough to enjoy those moments of silence together. For some people, that might come easily, but for those who chat too much when feeling nervous, sitting in silence together—while you're both reading, snuggling up watching a movie or show, or even just laying together—indicates that you're comfortable simply being yourselves.
You Can Relax
Along with being a sign of how comfortable you are as a pair, sharing quiet time together means you both can actually relax together and enjoy some of life's more leisurely pursuits. And whether it’s watching TV or just having a lazy Sunday morning, you are going to want to be able to unwind with your partner. Once you get used to spending low-key quality time together that doesn't have to be filled to the brim with the conversation, sharing moments of silence with your significant other can become a restful, nourishing part of your relationship.
The Silent Treatment Is Something Totally Different
We've all heard of the silent treatment, which is often associated with having a fight in a relationship. But the truth is, silence should never be used as a form of punishment. Fights and disagreements require communication—it's important for couples to be able to talk through them, rather than shutting down to prove a point. Moments of silence shared with significant others shouldn't come from a place of tension; it's more about spending quality time together and simply appreciating each other's presence. Moving past the silent treatment will do wonders for your relationship.
When disagreements surface, communication is key; never let an argument turn into a stalemate. If you feel stuck or frustrated, use the quiet time to write down your thoughts before sharing them with each other.
Having Space for Silence Is Important
For some partners, sharing moments of silence with significant others isn’t just a nice side effect of being at ease—it’s a must. Introverts not only need time alone to recharge; they also need stillness. So if you’re an introvert yourself or are an extrovert who spends a lot of time with an introverted partner, it’s important that as a couple you respect and embrace your partner's need for quiet time, which may include comfortably sitting in silence together or laying together in silence. For some loved ones, it really is a necessity.
It’s also important to be realistic. If this is your significant other for the long haul, you’re going to need to figure out how to spend time alone together. You can’t fill every car ride, every train or plane journey, every early-morning coffee chattering away. Think of the number of hours you'll be spending together over a lifetime; at some point, silence is inevitable. There's no need to be afraid of it. Once you've accepted it and even come to enjoy it, it will make your relationship that much stronger.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Boring
There’s a stigma around silence, as it's often associated with being bored or doing absolutely nothing—but it doesn’t have to mean sitting around and twiddling your thumbs. Being quiet together can also mean reading a book or catching up on the day's news in each other's presence. It can mean checking in with a yoga or meditation app, quietly cooking together, or doing a project while your partner dozes off nearby on a weekend morning. Don’t think of being quiet together as necessarily embracing shared meditative sessions—although if that works for the two of you, that's great. Just remember that there are a lot of things you can do together in comfortable silence.
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It becomes a gift that allows our hearts to connect and express things that words simply cannot convey. In both scenarios, the silence serves as a reflection of the deeper nature of the relationships, acting as mirrors between the individuals involved and as a reflection of their self-concept.
Why moments of silence are great for your relationship? ›
Along with being a sign of how comfortable you are as a pair, sharing quiet time together means you both can actually relax together and enjoy some of life's more leisurely pursuits. And whether it's watching TV or just having a lazy Sunday morning, you are going to want to be able to unwind with your partner.
How does silence help in a relationship? ›
Silence provides the space to truly listen and understand your partner's needs, enabling deeper emotional connection and support. By taking time to reflect before responding, you can offer more thoughtful and considerate reactions in your relationship.
What does silence do to a woman in a relationship? ›
The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
Is comfortable silence good in a relationship? ›
Meaningful connections are built on emotional intimacy and silence can be a powerful tool to nurture it. When you sit together in silence, you create a safe and comfortable environment where both you and your partner can simply be. This creates a sense of togetherness that words alone cannot achieve.
What are three benefits of silence? ›
Embracing the power of silence can lead to improved mental health, reduced blood pressure, enhanced self-awareness, and a sense of inner peace. Use these examples as inspiration to come up with your own quiet time rituals. Keep exploring until you find what brings you comfort and peace.
Why silence is a powerful response? ›
Silence is often the most overlooked yet powerful instrument. It can convey a myriad of emotions, from comfort and understanding to indifference and rejection.
Why is silence the most powerful? ›
Psychological benefits of silence can include enhanced creativity, focus, self control, self awareness, perspective and spirituality. Silence can be used both positively and negatively in communication, and thus can influence our relationships.
What are the hidden benefits of silence? ›
When you practice solitude and silence, you allow your brain to process your emotions, rather than suppressing them and remaining on autopilot. You may feel some uncomfortable emotions through this process, but the sooner you recognize and address your feelings, the sooner you can move forward in health and freedom.
Why is silence better than arguing? ›
“Silence allows us to attempt to understand what's happening inside ourselves, and for one another.” Silence can be a powerful tool because it allows everyone in the conversation to process what's happening.
The exercise of experiencing silence is another key tool that goes hand in hand with obtaining successful results through the Law of Attraction. You will find that taking time out to experience a moment of calming silence enhances the powers of the Law of Attraction.
Does silence mean the relationship is over? ›
Certainly, silence sometimes might be an indicator that a relationship is in trouble; however, this should not be prematurely concluded simply because there is silence without obvious explanation.
How silence can destroy a relationship? ›
In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.
Does silence create intimacy? ›
Silence is the language of intimacy. This does not mean emptiness, but a living silence, in which both individuals are aware of each other's feelings and thoughts and share a space free of unnecessary words. This is in contrast to the uncomfortable silence of two people lacking real intimacy.
What silence does to a man in a relationship? ›
Men respond to silence and distance emotionally. When they don't hear from you for a while, their male instinct pushes them to find you and know how you feel. They want to see if you are fine, if you miss them, or whether you value their existence.
What do you say at the moment of silence? ›
Then, they'll invite everyone to join the moment of silence by saying something like: “Let us take a moment to silently honor them,” or “Please join me in for a moment of reflection.” This is everyone's cue to observe a period of silence.
What is the significance of the moment of silence? ›
A moment of silence is a short time when people do not make noise. A moment of silence shows respect for people who have died. Many countries observe a minute of silence after a tragic event, usually with half-staff. Moments of silence often last one minute, but other amounts of time may be chosen.
How would a moment of silence help us? ›
Finding moments of silence can have significant psychological and mental health advantages and give you a greater sense of peace. With all of the constant noise you hear on a day-to-day basis, embracing silence can help stimulate your brain and help you process information.
Why do men respond better to silence? ›
Men typically respond better to nonverbal cues and actions rather than words. This is because men are more action-oriented and tend to be less emotional than women. As a result, when women use silence and distance as a means of communication, men are more likely to respond positively to it.
Why your silence is powerful? ›
Psychological benefits of silence can include enhanced creativity, focus, self control, self awareness, perspective and spirituality. Silence can be used both positively and negatively in communication, and thus can influence our relationships.
