The term “karmic relationship” is how some might describe a certain connection that can exist between friends or romantic partners, but can end up volatile and dissonant. In modern terms, a karmic relationship can look a lot like an unhealthy relationship.
Karmic relationships are not scientifically recognized, but those who believe in them acknowledge that while there are ups and downs, these connections can provide an opportunity for one or both parties to reflect and learn from the experience.
Learn more below about karmic relationships, including how to identify, end and heal from them.
FEATURED PARTNER OFFER 
Partner Offers feature brands who paid Forbes Health to appear at the top of our list. While this may influence where their products or services appear on our site, it in no way affects our ratings, which are based on thorough research, solid methodologies and expert advice. Our partners cannot pay us to guarantee favorable reviews of their products or services
Get $85 Off Your First Month At Talkspace! Using FORBES85 at checkout
Couples Counseling with Talkspace
- Consult with a certified therapist who can assist both you and your partner in establishing a healthier relationship
- Embark on a path towards emotional well-being by rediscovering and nurturing the strengths within your relationship
- Ongoing dedicated support through live video sessions and unlimited messaging
On Talkspace's Website
What Is a Karmic Relationship?
The concept of a karmic relationship is described as an intense and unstable spiritual connection, believed to be the result of unresolved issues from the participants’ previous lives. This concept draws on the Indian philosophy of karma, the belief that one’s actions determine the trajectory of their future, including future lives through spiritual rebirth.
A karmic relationship can be romantic or platonic, according to Bonnie Scott, a San Antonio-based licensed professional counselor supervisor, relationship therapist and founder of Mindful Kindness Counseling.
“Although there is no clinically recognized definition of a karmic relationship, from a therapeutic perspective, a karmic relationship can be viewed as a tumultuous, intensive, high-passion romance that involves both high highs and low lows,” says Sara Miller, a licensed clinical professional counselor and owner of Confluent Relationship Therapy in Chicago.
“In modern terms, we use terms like codependency, trauma bond, love addiction, dysfunctional and even abusive to describe the dynamics that take place in a karmic relationship,” adds Charlynn Ruan, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group.
How to Know You’re In a Karmic Relationship
Karmic relationships, which are not rooted in science, are believed to start quickly and to feel “magnetic” or “meant to be,” according to Scott and Angela Amias, a licensed clinical social worker and Cheyenne, Wyoming-based clinical director of the Institute for Trauma Informed Relationships.
People believe some signs of karmic relationships, according to Amias, Scott and Dr. Ruan, include:
- Swinging between extremes, from “‘best thing imaginable’ to ‘worst thing possible,’” per Amias
- Low points become more frequent over time, making high points feel intoxicating
- Working on the relationship takes up most of your time and energy
- No time to focus on personal growth or other relationships
- Repeated arguments and promises to end or change the relationship
- Explosive breakups and quick reunions
Karmic Relationship vs. Twin Flame
A twin flame is a New Age concept that believes each person has a fated “other half” that they are supposed to find. Matching flames are said to have similar traits and interests, says Miller. “Twin flames” are not clinically recognized. For those who believe in them, twin flame and karmic connections are both characterized by an intense and rapid onset of emotions and the feeling like they’re “meant to be,” says Scott.
Karmic relationships are said to inevitably become full of conflict and turbulence, while twin flames connections are supposedly based on mutual understanding, support and growth, according to Amias, Scott, Dr. Ruan and Avigail Lev, Psy.D., a San Francisco-based licensed clinical psychologist and founder and director at Bay Area CBT Center.
While twin flame relationships are not marked by dysfunctional behaviors like karmic relationships, Miller notes it “does not mean that the relationship is inherently good or bad, as it varies from relationship to relationship.”
How Long Does a Karmic Relationship Last?
Some believe karmic relationships may last between a few weeks and a few months, says Scott, although several breakups and makeups may occur in between.
Other karmic relationships last years or decades, depending on the people involved, according to Amias and Dr. Ruan. Some people may take longer to recognize the relationship’s unhealthy nature, especially if it is their first time experiencing such an intense relationship, adds Amias.
Seeking Relationship Counseling?
Whatever challenges you are facing, couples therapy can help you improve your relationship. Get help with Talkspace, you deserve to be happy!
On Talkspace's Website
Signs a Karmic Relationship Is Ending
A karmic relationship could be ending if you notice any of the following, per Amias, Dr. Ruan, Scott and Reena B. Patel, a licensed educational psychologist and board-certified behavior analyst (BCBA) based in San Diego:
- Partners focusing more on their personal lives
- Less investment in the relationship
- The “high points” of the relationship don’t feel as thrilling
- More frequent high/low cycles (fights accelerate from every week to every day, for example)
- Exhaustion with the relationship’s ups and downs
A karmic relationship itself is characterized by constant fluctuation, so it may be hard to pin down an exact endpoint, notes Scott. “But no one can really tolerate those levels of conflict for that long, so at some point, one of those conflicts will be the last one because the people in the relationship will lose the ability to tolerate even one more attempt,” she says.
How to End a Karmic Relationship
It can be difficult to end a karmic relationship due to its magnetic nature, but there are strategies you can employ to firmly end it.
Communicate clearly. Be clear about your boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate at the cease of the relationship, says Scott. Boundaries may include closing off communication such as deleting and blocking the other person’s contact info or ability to contact you.
If that person does contact you, notice how it makes you feel. You may feel angry that the other person disregarded your clearly marked boundaries, says Scott. Feeling this way may solidify that this person does not have your best interests at heart and it’s time to part ways for good, she adds.
Set boundaries. Once you’ve decided to end a karmic relationship, Amias recommends not talking to your partner about the relationship anymore. That can help avoid argument patterns and allow you to think through things on your own.
“Recognize you have the right to your perspective even if the other person doesn’t agree with you and tells you that you’re wrong,” says Amias.
Set an actionable breakup plan. Remind yourself of your personal goals outside of the relationship to help yourself maintain your boundaries and resolve, recommends Miller. Set up any logistics for after you’ve left the relationship, including finding separate housing if you currently live together.
Lean on your support system. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and who contribute to your own healthy, individual growth. This can include a therapist, who can “reflect back to you what they’re hearing from you in a way that helps you to see the relationship more clearly,” says Amias.
Supporters should avoid badmouthing the other person in the relationship, which can “trigger defensiveness and actually serve to make it harder to leave the relationship,” adds Amias.
How to Heal from a Karmic Relationship
Healing from a karmic relationship will take time and requires plenty of work, says Amias and Dr. Ruan. To help prevent falling back into the cyclical karmic pattern, there are a number of ways you can commit to healing, says Scott, such as reflection, practicing self care and seeking outside support.
Start with honest reflection on the relationship, including what you learned about yourself and what drew you to the relationship. This may allow you to pull out deeper meaning and learn a lesson from the relationship.
Self-care activities, such as meditation, journaling and physical activity, are also “vital during this time” of healing, says Amias. Establishing healthy routines can reintroduce normalcy and calm into your life.
The idea behind karmic relationships is that although they may be filled with unhealthy behavioral patterns due to past unresolved issues, one or both partners will ideally learn and benefit from the experience after the relationship’s end.
Under a modern clinical lens, however, karmic relationships may be considered unhealthy, and in some cases, potentially abusive.
So even though it may not always seem like it for the participants, a relationship that “isn’t good for one person, [is] not good for either person,” whether the relationship is karmic or not, and ending such a relationship is “always best for both people,” says Amias.
