Field Guide to The Contrarian (2024)

Latin Name: Opposium totalis

Notable Characteristics: Defines the phrase "goes against the grain." Never hesitates to inject a contrary viewpoint, whether at a department meeting or Grandma's Thanksgiving dinner table. Habitual sender of email forwards promoting offbeat philosophies. If you say right, this head-butter goes left.

Songs & Calls: "You've got it backwards." "Society is nothing but a deluded swarm of lemmings." "I know I'm right."

Angela Whitaker* can scarcely remember a time when she wasn't allergic to conventional wisdom. The 23-year-old consultant shuns all makeup, never does her hair, and turned down Western medical care for her chronic digestive problems. After she met the love of her life, she tied the knot in a Halloween costume instead of a wedding dress, and she stunned her family by announcing that she and her new husband planned to invite other romantic partners into their relationship. "I'm most comfortable around people who buck society's expectations," she says. "I refer to them affectionately as weirdos."

Most people are groomed from early childhood to conform to social norms, but a select few seem uniquely resistant. The wisdom of the crowd repels them like a charged magnet. Unlike run-of-the-mill rule breakers, true contrarians don't just flout established norms—they also have highly developed maverick philosophies of their own. Whitaker, for instance, is active in the polyamory community and well-versed in the world of alternative medical treatments.

What drives contrarians to go against the grain so resolutely? Some are skeptics who have been burned by conventional ideas, such as the child of divorce who swears off marriage for life. Others use defiance to get attention. But many are looking to establish their own identities as distinct from a larger group. "Often, people will turn to minority opinions to bolster their sense of who they are as individuals," says University of Chicago psychologist Kimberly Rios.

Contrarians also tend to have an unusually strong sense of certainty that emboldens them to air their unpopular opinions. At Australia's University of Queensland, where researchers quizzed subjects about controversial topics, those who had strong moral convictions about their stance were more likely to risk expressing a divergent view. Many contrarians are later-born children, who are less likely than firstborns to uphold the status quo—sometimes because an older sibling has already claimed the conventional achiever role in the family. IQ is also a contributing factor: The smarter people are, the less they feel compelled to conform to social expectations.

Because of their unconventional outlook, some contrarians make important creative contributions to society. Take former drifter Steve Jobs, who revolutionized computing by rejecting the status quo. "Creative ideas usually get a weak reception, at least initially," says psychologist Robert Sternberg, provost of Oklahoma State University. "But contrarians give their lives meaning by attempting to change the way things are to the way they think they should be."

Running counter to established norms can sometimes backfire, however, when it comes to navigating interpersonal situations. Contrarians—low in agreeableness on the Big Five personality scale—are not concerned about social graces. While contrarians often see themselves as righteous defenders of truth, others may experience them as crotchety pot-stirrers. "In the movie Twelve Angry Men, a lone juror disagrees with the group and a grumpy old man goes, 'Oh, there's always one,'" Rios says. "It's a perfect depiction of how a lot of people feel about contrarians."

Despite the inevitable blowback that comes from expressing unpopular views, many dyed-in-the-wool contrarians focus on the benefits. "I see 'weirdos' as the leaders of society—those promoting progress and being as honest, forthright, and brave as possible," says Whitaker. "I'm proud to walk among them."

Field Guide to The Contrarian (2)

Case Study: The Political Deviant (Opposium washingtonicus)

They're the soapbox preachers in your social circle—people who thrive on the righteous belief that they alone have the world all figured out. Political contrarians are more interested in sticking to their guns than in playing by traditional political rules—they may insist on voting for no-shot third-party candidates. "These people have given up on the power structure and tend to be critical of what they hear from that power structure because their experiences have been so bad," says Sternberg.

But while these spitfires portray themselves as martyrs for causes, like reinstating the gold standard, there's a lot in it for them, too. "For people who adopt contrarian lifestyles, membership in certain controversial groups can satisfy both the need to be unique and the need to fit in with others," Rios says.

Political contrarians often provoke eye rolling, but Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., both risked going against the tide of popular opinion to defend causes they believed in. And morally motivated nonconformists can help fight wrongdoing in society, points out Stanford professor emeritus Philip Zimbardo. "To be a hero," he says, "you have to pull yourself away from the power of the group and take solitary action."

Case Study:The Out-of-Context Dresser (Opposium sartorialis)

The teenager who dyes her locks Kool-Aid purple and the steampunk devotee who wears a three-piece suit to baseball games both reflect the tangled truth for some contrarians: Projecting overconfidence and individuality on the outside can be a way to mask uncertainty on the inside. "A large part of people's motivation to be certain is not only so they can reassure themselves," says Rios, "but also so they can convey that message to other people."

Attire is one of the surest ways to mark one's rejection of a group. "Your clothing is an incredibly accurate indicator of what you think of yourself and your life," writes psychologist Jennifer Baumgartner in You Are What You Wear.

Contrarian dressers may be flaunting their creativity or expressing their defiance. But whatever the motivation, many welcome the shock and attention that results; it helps reinforce an identity as someone who is not just another face in the crowd. When people give contrarians funny looks or ask about their unusual attire, it quells their fears of being overlooked or forgotten. "For people who are grappling with 'Who am I?,'" Rios says, "their motive to be unique trumps their motive to belong."

Facebook image: sergey causelove/Shutterstock

Field Guide to The Contrarian (2024)

FAQs

How to respond to a contrarian? ›

Ask them to consider questions such as:
  1. Before we get into drawbacks, can you share some reasons you think this will work?
  2. What suggestions do you have for improvement?
  3. What would you like to see change for the better?
  4. What's working right now?
  5. Let's operate from the assumption that we will be successful.

How do I know if I'm a contrarian? ›

There's a wide spectrum of contrarian thinkers, ranging from the nonconformist who's irritated by consensus, to the maverick who thinks rules are made to be broken, and the genius who has the unique ability to think differently from everyone else. Being a contrarian thinker doesn't necessarily mean being argumentative.

What causes a person to be a contrarian? ›

What drives contrarians to go against the grain so resolutely? Some are skeptics who have been burned by conventional ideas, such as the child of divorce who swears off marriage for life. Others use defiance to get attention. But many are looking to establish their own identities as distinct from a larger group.

How to deal with a contrarian spouse? ›

While dealing with each contrarian situation is different, start by clarifying the appropriate behavior that was committed to. This can come from Partnership agreements, value statements, or any other document that outlines expected behaviour. Next, two Partners should have a private conversation with the contrarian.

What kind of person is a contrarian? ›

a person who takes an opposing view, especially one who rejects the majority opinion, as in economic matters.

What is a contrarian mindset? ›

A contrarian is someone who goes against prevailing opinions and trends. Being contrarian is about knowing when to go against the grain and when to go with the flow. “The key is to think independently, not just differently” (Shakir). The contrarian mindset is about being comfortable with discomfort.

Is a contrarian good or bad? ›

There are various synonyms for contrarianism, some positive, some neutral, some distinctly negative. Contrarians may be seen as courageous, unconventional, counterintuitive thinkers, able to withstand herding pressures and even abuse from crowd-following conformists… Some rejoice in the title while others shun it.

What is a contrarian behavior? ›

someone such as a writer or politician who likes to disagree with other people and express opinions that are unpopular: He is a contrarian who frequently writes controversial opinion pieces. Fewer examples. Known as a contrarian among his peers, he did not follow trends or play the fashion game.

What is a word for being contrarian? ›

contrarian (noun as in one who takes an opposing view) Strong match. antagonist. Weak matches. adversary debater opponent.

What are examples of contrarian? ›

In fact, most successful investors often behave like contrarians by "buying low and selling high"—that is, buying stocks that are cheap because most investors put a low value on them but that have the possibility of rising, and selling stocks that most investors are valuing highly but that seem likely to decline.

Is being contrary a bad thing? ›

Being contrary isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless someone is just being contrary for contraries-sake. But often times it's necessary to go against the grain, to be the one vote in a 4-1 tally, to be the one who says it isn't best to go with the crowd.

How to tell someone their negativity is draining? ›

Try honesty. It may be helpful to pull them aside and let them know how their comments affect you. Try something like, “You may not realize it but when you always talk about how everything's wrong, it can make me feel pessimistic.”

How do you deal with someone who is contrary? ›

In the moment, tell the person how it makes you feel when they try to override your opinion or feelings on an issue. “Say to them, 'When you say that it makes me feel ______,'” Smith said. “Ask them to respect how you feel by not taking such a confrontational approach when talking to you.

How to tell if someone is a contrarian? ›

“A contrarian isn't one who always objects — that's a conformist of a different sort. A contrarian reasons independently, from the ground up, and resists pressure to conform.”

How to handle a contrary person? ›

Ask them to respect how you feel by not taking such a confrontational approach when talking to you. And if there are certain topics that are especially difficult, such as politics, then call them out in particular and ask that they avoid them when talking with you.”

How to deal with someone who constantly contradicts you? ›

How to deal with someone who challenges everything you say
  1. Don't absorb criticism or negativity they're trying to transfer to you.
  2. Don't feel the need to appease them or feed into the drama.
  3. Avoid overreacting emotionally to what they're saying or doing.
  4. Stop yourself from ruminating about the interaction afterward.
Sep 5, 2022

How do you respond to a negative reply? ›

How to respond to negative feedback?
  1. Apologize. ...
  2. Use the customer's name in your response. ...
  3. Sympathize with the problem. ...
  4. Say you're solving the problem. ...
  5. Try to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Offer a gift. ...
  7. Accept negative reviews.

What is the best way to respond to someone who disagrees with you? ›

Stay civil. Respect their ideas. Acknowledge that their ideas include valid points, though you do not have to agree with them. You could say, “I think you made a good point when you said…” or “Your comment definitely gives me some food for thought.”

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