Persuasion is an art, not a science.
We all know someone who can get us to do anything, an ability we all crave. Having had a career in Change Management, I have had to, on many occasions, convince people and teams of wholesale and often dramatic changes that need to be made. Over the years, based on pure experience and trial and error, I arrived at a set of principles that have always worked well for me and can work well for you. In this article, I describe persuasion and influencing techniques; then, I condense it all down for you to an easy-to-remember shortlist to enhance your persuasion skill.
As a Change Manager I had to learn how to persuade people to do things they both did and absolutely did not want to do, these were changes in techniques, behaviours and even the knowledge they used. The strongest influencer I found is a reasoned argument or pitch that is based on facts or my experience (your experience is hard to argue with, as long as you have credibility people will accept what your experience has to say).
But I also learned that there were other factors that were also important like my use of language (not what I said but how I said it, the tone of my voice and the emphasis and pauses I used). I was lucky to have had six years doing talk back radio, which taught me how to use my voice to great effect and how to use it to persuade and influence listeners). I know first-hand just how difficult it can be sometimes to persuade people to your way of thinking, but there are seven key things that you can do, things that are easy to copy. At the end of this article, I finish by describing what these are, but first, it’s important to know a little about the art of persuasion and how some others view it.
Mastering effective influencing skills or the art ofpersuasion increases your self-esteem gained through self-expression and being persuasiveis an important professional skill that we all need to master.
A good manager does not rely on their position or title to delegate a task or influence someone; instead, a good manager does it by carefully using persuasive reasoning skills. Effectivemanagersdon't just command; they inspire, persuade, and encourage.Managerstap the knowledge and skills of their team by managing individuals to make commitments to achieve results.
To get your manager to have confidence in your ideas and career potential, you need to persuade them. No matter how much you want them to understand your work's depth, knowledge, and expertise, your managers are not studying for a test. By shifting your focus from educating to influencing, you can build the credibility you need to get where you're trying to go.
What you need to do
· Make your words powerful. Your pitch needs to be full of words that elicit a response. You can do this easily by framing your statements around key phrases. For example, "car accident" is a phrase that makes you think of many different types of vehicle collisions. But if you're trying to persuade someone to buy car insurance, you won't say that there are thousands of car accidents each day. Instead, you'll say that there are thousands of car-related deaths every day.
· Dress up, but don't talk down. Nice clothes go a long way in helping you maintain confidence, even if no one is around to see you. Be careful, though, that being well-dressed can result in you looking better than people who are actually above you.
· Focus on the future. Speaking in a future tense establishes confidence best done by using the wordwill. Phrases like "We will" and "Then we'll do this" will get the person used to the idea that this will happen.
· Speak their language. Finishing a person's sentence isbad. This is because you're inserting your own "speak" into their independent thoughts. So instead, listen closely to how the person talks and watch how they carry themselves.
· Be a master of timing. This goes along with getting to know the person you're pitching to. Study them and find out the best time to talk to them. For example, some busy executives are swamped during the beginning of the week and check out mentally on Friday. This means that Thursday may be the best time to approach a person you need to persuade.
· Repeat what they say. Prove that you are listening to and acknowledging the thoughts and feelings of the person you're talking to. You can affirm their stance by simply saying, "If I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that you find this important because of XY and Z. I understand that and think AB and C."
· Preferred communication. Study the person and determine how they prefer to communicate. Simply asking them if they like to talk on the phone instead of email goes a long way, just as long as you give them some options.
My 7 principles of persuasion
Over the years, based on pure experience and trial and error, I arrived at a set of principles that have always worked well for me, here they are:
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1. Use clear language. If you can't explain your point of view to a 10-year-old, such that they can explain it to another adult, then it's too complicated. The art of persuasion lies insimplifyingsomething down to its core and speaking slowly, constantly pausing every 30 seconds.
2. Base your argument on facts or your experience. Base your argument on facts or your experience, this makes it easy to explain your reasoning for things which is absolutely critical.
3. Match the other person's voice and body language with your own. The way they talk (softly, loudly) even their body language should be matched effectively. If they like to talk with their hands, that means their ideal form of communication is active, so it is helpful for you to do the same.
4. Express your opinion reluctantly and use persuasive words. You want the other person to believe in you. You have all of the answers, but how did you get there? Talk about what you used to believe and what you believe in now; by doing this, you control the conversation and convince the other person that this will work for them. Use the five most persuasive words in the English language: You, Because, Free, Instant, and New.
5. Get your timing right and be persistent. Everyone can be persuaded, given your timing and context is right. Keep selling your message, do not let up.The person who keeps asking for what they want, and keeps demonstrating value, is ultimately the most persuasive.
6. Pay genuine compliments.Compliment people sincerely and often for things they aren't typically complimented for; it's the easiest thing you can do to persuade others.
7. Be honest and energetic. Sometimes the most effective way to persuade somebody is by telling them the truth about something, especially if others are reluctant. Some people drain our energy, while others increase it. The most persuasive people know how to transfer their energy to others; they know how to motivate. Sometimes all it takes is eye contact, physical touch, laughter, excitement in verbal responses, or active listening.
Conclusion
Persuading people is an art, not a science. The next time you feel you need to persuade someone or delegate a difficult task, prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it by following these points.
1. Use clear language and speak slowly, pausing every 30 seconds.
2. Base your argument on facts or your experience.
3. Match the other person's voice and body language with your own.
4. Express your opinion reluctantly and use persuasive words (You, Because, Free, Instantly, and New).
5. Get your timing right and be persistent.
6. Pay genuine compliments.
7. Be honest and energetic.
