Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (2024)

Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (1)

Social Issues

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Family drama is something nobody is safe from. From discussing covid vaccines over Sunday barbecue to getting ready for your relative’s wedding, things can go wrong in a split second.

The latter has happened to a woman who had her wedding set for this year, but the engaged couple moved it to next year because of the pandemic. Meanwhile, her cousin has set her own wedding date scheduled just a day before the author’s, but “that’s a whole other story.”

The drama escalated when the cousin asked each family unit for $500 to finance her wedding. “I told her no because my fiancé and I are saving up,” wrote the author in a post on r/AITA. Everyone was left divided, and now the author wants to know if she was right to refuse to make the generous “donation.” Tell us your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

Here’s the full story of the incident which left members of the family divided

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Image credits: oogbach411

To find out what an expert had to say about this situation, Bored Panda reached out toRhiann Janak, a professional wedding planner and the CEO of “Lucy Till French Weddings.” Rhiann told us that in her professional and personal opinion, “it’s tacky to outright ask for money from guests, even if they are family.”

“I’d advise this bride to downsize her guestlist and use the budget she’s saved or been gifted from her parents,” the wedding planner suggested. She also added that the couple may want to think of a destination wedding as a way to save money.

“Doing a destination wedding is often a way to save money on the venue costs as it is normal for guests to contribute to or pay for their own accommodation—if that accommodation is at the wedding venue itself, it can offset the cost for the couple. You wouldn’t expect someone to pay for your hotel on a vacation, and this is no different,” Rhiann concluded.

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And this is what people had to comment on the whole situation

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Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (2)

Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (3)

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

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Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (4)

Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (5)

Liucija Adomaite

Liucija Adomaite

Writer, Community member

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (11)

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Pervinca

Pervinca

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

It seem to me that reddit users are surrounded by people with a great lack of common sense. Usually, at least where I live, the parents of the couple are the only ones that are expected to help financially for the wedding. All the other guests partecipate in the gifts ( usually you can choose the gifts from a list that is plenty of items with different prices, or you make a donations to help pay the honey moon) but they are not forced to pay a certain price (usually the more intimate the relations with the couple the more you spend, but it's not the rule). I find pretty offensive to ask the guest to pay a certain amount of money (especially a so great amount, not justified by the lunch you will attend). If someone make this premise, I will not attend the wedding.

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Dark.JuKo

Dark.JuKo

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

No one should be EXPECTED to help pay for someone elses wedding. Not even the parents. If you can´t afford your own wedding, make it smaller or save money.

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labaguette🥖️‍🥖️‍

labaguette🥖️‍🥖️‍

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I really want her to say “Here’s $500.”, hold out $500 and take it back, saying “oh right. This is your donation for MY wedding”

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Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I love this! Hope OP can do it!

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Shelp

Shelp

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
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I was wondering if anyone would dare to say that they were, in fact, the arseholes, and most importantly what their reasons would be. But fortunately, no one did. How can some people be that entitled? Demanding $500 from each family member? That's beyond me.

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JessG

JessG

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Lol, I also scrolled down to see if anyone was crazy enough to call the OP the A-hole. I was ready to shake my head and roll my eyes, luckily everyone agrees, and I honestly don't know why OP even had to ask this question. I guess it's because some of her family sided with the cousin, which is not only sad for OP, but certainly could leave her confused about her feelings here.

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Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (18)

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Pervinca

Pervinca

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

It seem to me that reddit users are surrounded by people with a great lack of common sense. Usually, at least where I live, the parents of the couple are the only ones that are expected to help financially for the wedding. All the other guests partecipate in the gifts ( usually you can choose the gifts from a list that is plenty of items with different prices, or you make a donations to help pay the honey moon) but they are not forced to pay a certain price (usually the more intimate the relations with the couple the more you spend, but it's not the rule). I find pretty offensive to ask the guest to pay a certain amount of money (especially a so great amount, not justified by the lunch you will attend). If someone make this premise, I will not attend the wedding.

Vote comment up

29points

Vote comment down

reply

Dark.JuKo

Dark.JuKo

Community Member

Follow

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

No one should be EXPECTED to help pay for someone elses wedding. Not even the parents. If you can´t afford your own wedding, make it smaller or save money.

Vote comment up

32points

Vote comment down

reply

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labaguette🥖️‍🥖️‍

labaguette🥖️‍🥖️‍

Community Member

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I really want her to say “Here’s $500.”, hold out $500 and take it back, saying “oh right. This is your donation for MY wedding”

Vote comment up

25points

Vote comment down

reply

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

Community Member

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I love this! Hope OP can do it!

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0points

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Shelp

Shelp

Community Member

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

I was wondering if anyone would dare to say that they were, in fact, the arseholes, and most importantly what their reasons would be. But fortunately, no one did. How can some people be that entitled? Demanding $500 from each family member? That's beyond me.

Vote comment up

24points

Vote comment down

reply

JessG

JessG

Community Member

Follow

2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017
  • Round attention Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon Report

Lol, I also scrolled down to see if anyone was crazy enough to call the OP the A-hole. I was ready to shake my head and roll my eyes, luckily everyone agrees, and I honestly don't know why OP even had to ask this question. I guess it's because some of her family sided with the cousin, which is not only sad for OP, but certainly could leave her confused about her feelings here.

Vote comment up

12points

Vote comment down

reply

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Woman Refuses To Contribute $500 To Fund Her Cousin’s Wedding, Family Drama Ensues (2024)

FAQs

Who is financially responsible for a wedding? ›

The bride's family pays for the wedding, but that custom is rapidly changing. Couples are increasingly choosing to handle at least half of the wedding expenses on their own. Early planning and a written budget can help avoid miscommunication when deciding who pays for what.

How much should brides parents contribute to wedding? ›

If you don't feel you can be on the hook for an entire wedding, you have statistics that can back you up. So here's how it breaks down. On average, the bride's parents usually spend 44 percent of the overall budget, while the couple contributes 43 percent and the groom's parents pop for about 12 percent.

Should a woman pay for her own wedding? ›

"Every single couple is unique, which means every single wedding's finances will be unique. Some couples might choose to stick with the tradition, some might be paying for their own wedding in full, and others might be receiving financial help from both families in some way."

At what age do parents stop paying for weddings? ›

There's no universal age at which parents stop contributing to their children's weddings. The decision varies from family to family and is influenced by factors such as cultural norms, financial stability, and individual preferences.

Who is responsible for finances in marriage? ›

It may seem old-fashioned, but many couples today divide financial responsibilities along gender lines, according to financial professionals. Yet even if the division isn't by gender, there's often still a division: One partner takes on the role of money manager while the other just follows along.

What is the groom's family supposed to pay for? ›

The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.

Am I obligated to pay for my daughter's wedding? ›

While it is tradition that the parents pay for the daughter's wedding, some people are trying to stay away from this tradition. This is not mandatory if the couple is in good financial health. If both of you are covering a bigger portion of the expenses, it makes sense to ask for help from the parents.

Should parents pay for a daughter's wedding? ›

Of course, this all depends on a parent's financial situation and the wedding's overall budget—and not every family has the means to pay for their child's big day. "Some parents still contribute to their child's wedding, especially in cultures or families where it's traditional or expected.

Do most people's parents pay for their wedding? ›

While traditionally, the bride's parents were responsible for hosting (and paying for) the entire celebration, today, many couples join both sets of parents in contributing.

Who pays for the wedding in 2024? ›

The old-school etiquette books would dictate that the parents of the bride should foot most of the bill for the wedding but the reality is that most couples end up working together with their families to cover the cost.

Who pays for a wedding dress? ›

Who traditionally pays for the wedding dress? One of the most closely stuck-to traditions is that the bride's family will pay for the wedding dress. This also includes any accessories the bride may wear, such as a veil, a bag and shoes. For modern weddings, the bride may want to pay for her own dress.

What are the groom's parents responsible for? ›

Traditionally, the groom's parents' financial responsibilities include paying for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. In some parts of the country, it may be tradition for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.

Is your dad supposed to pay for your wedding? ›

Whether it's their second marriage or they want independence from their parents, many couples are choosing to take on all wedding costs on their own. In some situations, it's also possible that their parents simply aren't in a place to financially contribute.

Does paying for my daughter's wedding count as a gift? ›

A: No! Under U.S. law, gifts aren't deductible. But they also aren't taxable to the giver except to the extent they exceed annual limits and lifetime caps. (The per-person limits for gifts that don't trigger filing requirements for 2023 and 2024 are $17,000 and $18,000, respectively.

How much do parents give children for a wedding? ›

In other words, gifts can be $72,000 per parent couple, or up to $144,000 if both sets of parents gift to each child. That's typically enough to pay for the average wedding, even in New York City. If the wedding is going to cost even more, O'Leary recommends spreading the gift money over more than a year.

What are the financial responsibilities of the groom's parents? ›

As a chivalrous and considerate gesture, the groom's family tends to be responsible for the expenses of the flowers that decorate the ceremony, as well as the bride's bouquet. If they wish, this can be extended to also take care of the boutonnieres for the groomsmen and the bouquets for the bridesmaids.

What is the groom's mother responsible for? ›

Traditionally, the groom's mother will take care of the rehearsal dinner arrangements and help prepare the guest list for the groom's side of the family. Both tasks should be done with both the bride and the groom's input. Any other responsibilities can be negotiated among the families.

Who typically pays for what in a wedding? ›

Some common resolutions today are for the couple to pay for everything; for the bride's family to pay for half and the groom's family for half; or, for the couple to pay one third and each side of the family fund another third. If another combination works best for you, then it's the right one.

Is the father of the bride responsible for paying for the wedding? ›

Traditionally, the father of the bride is financially responsible for the wedding. Nowadays, that's not always the case, and that's okay. Sometimes the bride and groom will contribute, as well the parents of the groom. Even if you're not paying for the wedding, offer to help deliver payments to the vendors.

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