Why don’t we talk about money? The reasons might be personal or emotional, but they can be overcome: Money Talks (2024)

Who owns the stronger discography: Bruno Mars or Chris Brown?

I spotted the question on Twitter not long after professing my love for Bruno Mars’ artistry. It almost sucked me down a rabbit hole.

In a follow-up tweet, the person who posed the question quickly provided context for his exercise. What followed was a 90-second video clip of a spirited podcast discussion on Brown’s reach, relative to rapper Drake. The debate intensified when one person claimed Chris Brown could sell out the same venues as Drake. To make the point, the person pulled Bruno Mars into the conversation and grew indignant when told to put some respect on the performer’s name.

“He’s a glorified cruise ship performer,” the person said of Bruno Mars.

I just about lost it. Up until those final 15 seconds, I understood the person’s point and agreed. But when Bruno Mars got disrespected, it nearly hijacked my day.

I scanned replies and rummaged through the more than 400 quote tweets the original question elicited. I played a Chris Brown banger then compared it to a Bruno Mars masterpiece. I shared the podcast clip via text, angrily expressing how a stranger’s hot take had caused my temperature to rise.

And then it hit me.

This was the type of material I have spent the majority of my life mindlessly consuming. Since middle school, conversations within my circle centered on sports, music, television and movies, video games and girls/women. I’ve sat in debates about those subjects all day, every day, and seen people nearly come to blows because of their loyalties to them.

But when the topic turns to finances, the fiery debates disappear. I’ve found, whether family or friends, few have the same energy for money talks. It makes no sense to me. Neither Chris Brown nor Bruno Mars — or any entertainer — significantly impact our lives. Money does. Yet we expend tremendous time and enormous energy on one, but not the other.

I’ve decided to flip that equation and focus only on what matters to the long-term health and wellbeing of my family. That means growing comfortable having open money talks in a culture where the custom is staying silent on the subject.

Numerous studies show Americans would rather discuss anything but money, including marital problems, mental illness, drug addiction, race, politics, sex and religion. Meanwhile, a recent study by Thriving Wallet reports 90 percent of Americans are stressed about their financial well-being.

Truth and transparency are our best tools for overcoming what society has deemed a sore subject. Before fixing any problem, we must face it. That gets easier with time and intentionality. This column is proof.

Examining the roots of why we don’t talk about money, or find it difficult, could be a good launching point. Here are eight common reasons I’ve found.

1. It’s what we’ve always done: Our parents didn’t talk about money, and we don’t either. It’s just the way we’ve always done it.

2. It’s taboo: It’s considered socially unacceptable to talk about money. If you’re well-off, you’ll be perceived as boastful. If you’re broke, people will think you’re begging. Nobody wants to hear either.

3. It’s too emotional: Feelings of frustration, shame, embarrassment, guilt or resentment often arise over money. Those feelings can be hard to face.

4. It’s too uncomfortable: Examining finances forces you to look at yourself in the mirror. And sometimes we don’t like what we see. Few things reveal more about us than how we spend.

5. The fear of judgment: One might fear being looked down on for not measuring up, or fear being ridiculed or exploited for overachieving.

6. Avoidance: Ignorance, for some, is bliss. If you don’t look at your finances, you don’t have to figure them out, right? Wrong. Avoiding the problem never alleviates it.

7. It’s no fun: We’d rather debate the musical prowess of Chris Brown versus Drake and Bruno Mars.

8. It’s nobody’s business: Many believe finances are personal and private, period. What we do with our money doesn’t concern anyone else. We made it. No one can tell us what to do with it. So, stay out of it!

What are some other reasons you’ve found for why we don’t talk about money? How many are healthy? Do they help multiply money, or are they distractions?

I’ve had enough fun and experienced enough distractions. It’s time to get serious about money. It’s time to reject the status quo and refuse silence. It’s time to turn a taboo subject into a staple, taught in schools and discussed at the dinner table.

But first, in case there was any doubt, let’s agree that Bruno Mars has the stronger discography.

Darnell Mayberry is a sportswriter based in Chicago and is the author of “100 Things Thunder Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die.” He loves his daughter Parker, money and the Minnesota Vikings. You will find his column, Money Talks, each Saturday on cleveland.com and Sundays in The Plain Dealer.