The psychologist Noam Sobel has shown that after shaking someone’s hand, we will often give our fingers a good old sniff.Our brain subconsciously makes us do it.
Just think, that moment when you feel a little itch on your face that you just have to scratch, is really just your unconscious instincts compelling you to smell your hand.It really is a clever old subconscious (if not slightly manipulative).
One evolutionary explanation for this is that we communicate (or ‘chemosignal’) through our bodily scent. Smelling the people we meet, helps us make more informed social judgements about them:are they friend or foe for example?
Perhaps this explains why you sometimes just click with someone (‘hmm you smell like you don’t want to kill me, let me buy you a coffee?’).And conversely sometimes the chemistry just does not feel right (‘You’re smiling but I think deep down you may want to kill me’). No amount of Eternity by Calvin Klein (other scents are available) can prevent this primeval processing.
This psychological gem is a good ice-breaker at networking events (after telling someone this anecdote they will inevitably revel in unabashed finger-sniffing the second you normalise it for them - do make sure you only tell people you get on with).It also reminds us of just how instinct-driven we really are. Too often our instincts like self-preservation, flight, fight or freeze can prevent more constructive interactions and thinking from taking place.
Mutuality (the ethos behind my consultancy) is about tapping into the positive side of human nature so that we transcend our more combative, animal instincts.A mutualistic approach helps you broker win-wins between parties.It can be applied to the development of brand relationships and employee engagement alike. Both in terms of strategy and how you collaborate to develop it.
Next time you find yourself deeply inhaling the musk of someone that you don’t feel all that comfortable with, try and be more mutualistic.Ask them that killer question that will diffuse the tension and help you both see how your interests overlap.
Source: 3/3/15 - New Scientist:‘After handshakes we sniff people’s scent on our hands’
