“You could have a colleague who you’re very, very connected to and a family member or spouse that you’re not connected to,” Maidenberg says. “I would say the more intimate the relationship, the more that you could offer.”
Regardless of who the person is in your life, it’s important to gain an understanding of their support system. If someone has a lot of support, you don’t need to feel pressured to offer as much help. But if you find they lack support, it could be a good time to lend a hand.
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For example, if you are reaching out to a coworker and your relationship is purely business, you want to be encouraging without prying, as they may not want coworkers to know the nature of their recovery, says Jenn Kennedy, a marriage and family therapist and a professor at Antioch University in Santa Barbara.
What to say to a sick coworker:
- I’m sorry for this very unexpected zag.
- Sending you love as you walk this journey.
- Heal up and know that I’m thinking about you.
When to send a card, text, email, or call someone who is sick
Take the person’s lead to understand how public a person is with their condition. If they’re private, give space and understand their needs.
Cards
Cards can be a good option for almost anyone in your life, especially those who are dealing with a long-term illness. They are a passive way to let someone know that you care, and sending one gives you the chance to write a heart-felt message.
Phone calls
A phone call can be more invasive, so reserve that for someone you have a closer relationship with. “Don’t expect them to answer, but rather, be prepared to leave a kind, concise message that shows you care,” Kennedy says.