What Factors Influence Your Self-Esteem? (2024)

Over the years as a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many clients to discover what has impacted their self-image. As, you might already know, there are many contributing factors that influence a person’s self-esteem. It’s incredibly important, too, to understand what factors influence your self-worth.

Why? Because these factors can drastically improve or harm your self-confidence. Having low self-esteem can prevent you from doing such things as building healthy relationships, rising in your career, or achieving your goals. Having low self-esteem can even lead to such mental health issues as anxiety and depression.

Confidence and Self-Esteem During Childhood

When we are children, we’re still developing into our personalities, trying to figure out who we truly are. Because of this, we also tend to look to those around us, to try and gage how we should act, and if we’re “fitting in.” All of this has a huge impact on our self-esteem.

For example, did you have parents that gave you praise, or were they constantly critical of you? Did you have teachers or coaches that supported you? Did your parents role model having healthy self-esteem themselves?

Confidence and Self-Esteem During Childhood

When we are children, we’re still developing into our personalities, trying to figure out who we truly are. Because of this, we also tend to look to those around us, to try and gage how we should act, and if we’re “fitting in.” All of this has a huge impact on our self-esteem.

For example, did you have parents that gave you praise, or were they constantly critical of you? Did you have teachers or coaches that supported you? Did your parents role model having healthy self-esteem themselves?

Think about all the people in your life growing up and how they might have influenced your self-esteem. If you remember many negative influences, take the time to let it go. Put your past in perspective and put it behind you. Draw a line between your past and your present and know that moving forward. YOU are in control of how you feel about yourself. Decide that now you are in the driver seat of what influences your self-esteem.

This is also an important time to focus on the positive influences in your childhood, even if they may have been far and few between. Did a teacher boost your confidence when you succeeded in a certain subject? Or maybe you had a favorite couch that had a knack for raising your self-esteem? Remember to keep those positive memories close!

Society’s Impact on Self-Esteem

Everyday we’re inundated with messages from society about who and what we should be. What those around us say and put pressure on us to do can be a major contributing factor when it comes to self-confidence.

There are many unrealistic expectations that society puts on us. Societal expectations that are unrealistic can include anything like what job you should have (and at what point in your life,) when you should be married (and who and what they should look like,) what kind of clothes you should wear, and how much money you should make. If you allow other people’s rules and expectations to dictate who you are and how you live your life, put simply, you will never be happy.

Look instead within yourself to come up with how you should live and who you should be. You know best when it comes to knowing what (and when) is right for you. Make sure your expectations for yourself are realistic and healthy.

Media’s Influence on Body Image and Self-Confidence

Every picture we see on social media. Every TV show and movie we watch on Netflix. Even the articles we read for fun. We are constantly being bombarded by advertisem*nts everywhere we go. Have you ever stopped to think about what these messages are conveying to us? Most of these sneaky advertisem*nts are getting the subliminal message across that you are inadequate and the way to be better or feel better is to purchase the product they are promoting. Gross, right?

Here’s a great example. It’s the typical ad for a woman’s makeup line that shows a happy, attractive woman having a good time with lots of friends. The underlying message is that you must buy this product to be beautiful, to have others like you, and accept you. Oh, and if you don’t, you’ll never be this happy.

Media’s Influence on Body Image and Self-Confidence

Every picture we see on social media. Every TV show and movie we watch on Netflix. Even the articles we read for fun. We are constantly being bombarded by advertisem*nts everywhere we go. Have you ever stopped to think about what these messages are conveying to us? Most of these sneaky advertisem*nts are getting the subliminal message across that you are inadequate and the way to be better or feel better is to purchase the product they are promoting. Gross, right?

Here’s a great example. It’s the typical ad for a woman’s makeup line that shows a happy, attractive woman having a good time with lots of friends. The underlying message is that you must buy this product to be beautiful, to have others like you, and accept you. Oh, and if you don’t, you’ll never be this happy.

Now, let’s look on the flipside, and see how the media can promote their product and self-love. I love how the company Dove decided to push back against other beauty companies and decided to put real women in their advertisem*nts. Women that were all different shapes, sizes, and from different ethnic backgrounds.

Moving forward, start looking at advertisem*nts with a different lens. Remind yourself that the people in ads are models (it’s their gig, yo,) have sat in makeup chairs for hours, and have been photoshopped extensively. Don’t compare yourself to a make believe image.

How People in Your Life Influence Your Self-Worth

We spend a lot of time with our friends, family, and romantic partners and they can heavily influence our self-esteem. Are the people in your life supportive of you? Do they build you up, or drag you down? Think about the people you spend your time with and contemplate whether they are contributing to you having a healthy self-image of yourself or whether they are making you feel inadequate.

If the people in your life have a negative influence, communicate to them how they could be more supportive and set healthy boundaries. Let them know that you want to be in supportive relationships with people who uplift you. Make an effort to start seeking friendships and relationships with people that are positive and supportive.

The people in your life who are supportive and lift you up? Well, you know what to do with those! Keep them close, of course! Build eachother up and celebrate each other’s confidence. When you surround yourself with healthy, loving, confident people, you will enjoy better relationships and better memories. AKA, you’ll be happier!

How People in Your Life Influence Your Self-Worth

We spend a lot of time with our friends, family, and romantic partners and they can heavily influence our self-esteem. Are the people in your life supportive of you? Do they build you up, or drag you down? Think about the people you spend your time with and contemplate whether they are contributing to you having a healthy self-image of yourself or whether they are making you feel inadequate.

If the people in your life have a negative influence, communicate to them how they could be more supportive and set healthy boundaries. Let them know that you want to be in supportive relationships with people who uplift you. Make an effort to start seeking friendships and relationships with people that are positive and supportive.

The people in your life who are supportive and lift you up? Well, you know what to do with those! Keep them close, of course! Build eachother up and celebrate each other’s confidence. When you surround yourself with healthy, loving, confident people, you will enjoy better relationships and better memories. AKA, you’ll be happier!

Keys Factors That Influence Self-Confidence

There are multiple factors that can have an effect on your self-esteem. Your childhood, society, the media, and people in your life can all add or take away from how you feel about yourself. Studies have shown that people who have an unhealthy self-esteem are more likely to experience fatigue, anxiety, and depression. As a therapist and counselor, I stress to my clients that ultimately the most important influential factor to your self-esteem is YOU. You can decide to take control and make a change to start having a healthy self-esteem. Put the work in to start to truly love and accept yourself.

Want to learn more about self-esteem? Click here to check out my article on 5 ways to improve your self-esteem.

You Know That Nagging, Voice of Self-Doubt in Your Head? Tell It to Shut Up.

With therapy for low self-esteem, I can help you build an arsenal of tools you can use to bolster your self-worth and realize your true potential. Believe me. You got this!

About the Author & Essence of Healing Counseling

Roberta Alves is a Therapist and Development Coach at Essence of Healing Counseling, in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is also a Certified Anxiety Specialist who uses the solution focused and evidence based therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. Research has shown that cognitive behavioral therapy is proven to be extremely effective in treating anxiety and improving self-esteem. Roberta provides counseling services to her clients who live in Ft. Lauderdale and the surrounding South Florida areas through telehealth counseling via online video and phone sessions. She also provides coaching services to clients throughout the country via online video and phone sessions. If you want to learn proven techniques to overcome stress, improve your self-esteem, and achieve your goals, call (954) 526-4006 to schedule an appointment today.