We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (2024)

money

We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (1)

By Rachel Bowie

Published Jan 5, 2018

Before I got married, I was adamant about one thing: separate bank accounts. My parents advised me otherwise. So did a few friends. But my now-husband and I had lived together for a few years pre-marriage and never had an issuerelying on apps likeVenmoto square up on joint expenses like my half of the rent or his half of the cable bill. Plus, IMO, it meant that we could continue to maintain some semblance of our independence. (He doesn’t really need to know how much I spend atJ.Crew, right?) Wrong. After a financial planner overhauled our spending habits, we found ourselves changing tactics. First step: Setting up a joint checking account (one that’s fee-free), followed by a joint savings account (yep, we had previously kept those separate, too). We also opened a joint credit card for almost all incidental purchases. Here’s how our relationship improved.

We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (2)

Twenty20

We Stopped Nickel And Diming Each Other

Before we combined bank accounts, Venmo did make divvying up expenses fairly easy. But it also meant that the second we got home from a shared dinner or movie out, we were verbally tabulating how much the other person owed. (I seriously once paid my husband $26 for cacio e pepe and a glass of wine.) Another obstacle—and I was always the worst offender at this—if you don’t pay each other back in the moment, it’s easy to lose track of who owes what. And you know what’s emotionally exhausting? Having to turn every third conversation with your husband into the equivalent of an itemized receipt. The bottom line: A joint account means that, for joint expenses, one card goes down and one transaction is made, which minimizes the amount of time we have to spendnitpickingdiscussing the bills.

We Actually Stick To Our Household Budget

It sounds crazy and irresponsible, but when the money was just mine, I felt totally comfortable breaking my budget to cover an impulse spend—say, round-trip airfare to visit my best friend on a whim. (“That’s what credit cards are for,” I’d tell myself, or “I’ll cover the difference next month. It’ll be fine.”) Now, with our bank accounts—and household budget—merged, I feel much more accountable when it comes to an unplanned splurge. Case in point: I wanted a new laptop. The purchase wasn’t an urgent need, but the old me would have just bought it with credit. The new me—now drawing from our joint account—held out until I properly saved and budgeted for the spend. (Hello, growth.)

We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (4)

Twenty20

My Debt Became His Debt

Full disclosure: Before we got married, I had a fair amount of credit card debt. (To the tune of $7,000—eep.) Every month, I would shuffle the bills—and my budget—to accommodate the minimum payment due. My husband knew about this, but he didn’t pay much attention to my debt repayment strategy. Not until we combined our accounts. He had a small amount of debt, too, so when we merged our money, it became less about meeting minimum payments and more about the lump sum and how we could strategize (and adjust our household budget) to pay it back quick. It felt awesome to have a united front where we used our joint income to chip away at our collective debt, versus me going it alone and barely making a dent by paying the bare minimum. The goal? Financial independence, ironically—but the only way to get it this time was to team up.

We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (5)

Twenty20

And My Savings Became His Savings

I’ve always been a better saver than my spouse. (Yes, even despite my credit card debt.) And when we merged our accounts, we merged our savings, too—which, for me, was a hard pill to swallow since I'd always seen that money as my personal safety net—there for emergencies, but also impromptu purchases.Giving my spouse access felt scary, but the minute we did it, it felt so smart. It goes back to that whole trust thing. When we merged my savings with our joint savings (mostly wedding cash) and his savings, too, it felt like we suddenly had a safety net for our joint future. And one that we could bulk up together.

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We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (6)

Rachel Bowie

Royal family expert, a cappella alum, mom

Rachel Bowie is Senior Director of Special Projects & Royals at PureWow, where she covers parenting, fashion, wellness and money in addition to overseeing initiatives within...

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We Finally Combined Our Bank Accounts and Here's What It Did for Our Marriage (2024)

FAQs

Should married couples combine bank accounts? ›

Couples may also want to keep joint accounts because they ensure both spouses can access money at any time. If only one person's name is on an account and that spouse becomes injured or ill, their partner may be unable to pull out money needed for medical expenses or other bills.

What percent of married couples have combined finances? ›

39% of couples had combined all their finances, 39% kept things completely separate, and 22% did a partial combination. A final survey I can bring to your attention is conducted by creditcards.com with a sample size of 2,404 adults. In their survey, they found that 43% of couples had only joint accounts.

Why should a couple combine their finances after marriage? ›

A joint bank account can also help couples have honest conversations about money, manage and monitor spending to avoid debt, and stay on the same page when it comes to budgeting and making financial decisions. This can help create financial harmony and avoid monetary stress for everyone involved.

Are joint bank accounts the key to happy marriage? ›

Key Findings

Respondents who used only joint bank accounts were also the most likely (60.3%) to say that they were “very satisfied” with their relationships. 55% of couples who use only joint bank accounts say they never fight about money, while only 39% of partners who have personal accounts can say the same thing.

Why does my husband want separate bank accounts? ›

For example, they may prefer the financial independence of not having to run every purchase by their spouse, or they may be trying to shield money from one spouse's premarital debt by having it in an account under the other spouse's name.

Should husband and wife have separate savings? ›

Having a separate bank account in marriage gives you a sense of financial independence, self-identity and empowerment. You make more than your spouse. I have friends who out-earn their husbands by a considerable margin and don't like the idea of splitting the difference, no matter how educated or progressive they are.

What does Dave Ramsey say about joint bank accounts? ›

The question of merging finances upon marriage is as old as the institution itself. Financial guru Dave Ramsey says it's a categorical "yes"—when you tie the knot, it's all about "ours" not yours or mine.

Should husband and wife keep finances separate? ›

Key takeaways. Keeping separate bank accounts after marriage could help you stay engaged with your money. Paying for shared expenses could mean using bill-splitting apps and extra planning for emergencies, but it's worth it for some couples.

How do most married couples do finances? ›

The All-in Model

This is perhaps the simplest form of married finances. Both partners pool all their money together in joint savings accounts and checking accounts. They also add each other to existing credit cards. This means shared savings, shared income, and shared debt.

What is the 50 30 20 rule? ›

The 50-30-20 rule recommends putting 50% of your money toward needs, 30% toward wants, and 20% toward savings. The savings category also includes money you will need to realize your future goals.

How should finances be split in a marriage? ›

Many couples split bills 50/50, especially if they are earning similar salaries. If your incomes are significantly different, however, a more equitable solution might be to split expenses proportionally according to each partner's income.

How to organize bank accounts when married? ›

Keep a Joint Bank Account, But Also Separate Accounts

Genkin says some couples should consider setting up a joint checking account for shared expenses such as the mortgage, groceries and utilities – and automatically transferring most of their paychecks into the joint account.

Do most married couples combine bank accounts? ›

While traditionally newlywed couples have pooled their money together in joint accounts, these days more couples—especially millennials—are choosing to keep separate accounts, retaining control over their own money. Keeping financial arrangements separate seems like a good idea for many reasons.

What percentage of married couples combine finances? ›

Mine, yours, ours

Most wedded couples share at least some financial accounts – 77%, according to Bankrate. Of them, 43% combine all their accounts, keeping nothing separate. In either approach, marital experts urge couples to talk about money before approaching the altar.

What are the disadvantages of a joint account? ›

A joint account might damage your credit score

Opening a joint account adds a financial link to the other person. This means companies will look at both of your credit histories as part of any credit checks. If they have a poor credit history, this might lower your chances of acceptance.

How should married couples split finances? ›

Make a list of all your combined expenses: housing, taxes, insurance, utilities. Then talk salary. If you make $60,000 and your partner makes $40,000, then you should pay 60 percent of that total toward the shared expenses and your partner 40 percent.

What if my husband died and I am not on his bank account? ›

A court must grant you the power to withdraw money from the account if you're neither a joint owner or an account beneficiary. For example, an executor must produce proof of executor status and a certified copy of the death certificate to collect funds and place them in an estate account.

Should my wife have access to my bank account? ›

Only the account holder has the right to access their bank account. If you have a joint bank account, you both own the account and have access to the funds. But in the case of a personal bank account, your spouse has no legal right to access it.

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