While each step in the 12 Step program is supported by a prayer, the most powerful prayers for the program are often cited as The Serenity Prayer and the prayers for Steps One, Three, Seven, and Eleven.
Other than The Serenity Prayer, there can be different versions of the prayer for a step. You’ll find that while wording varies, the essential meaning remains the same.
In the context of the 12 Step program, the terms “God” and “Higher Power” are often used interchangeably, reflecting the program’s spiritual but non-denominational approach, which allows members to interpret these concepts according to their own beliefs.
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer is the best-known AA prayer often recited at the beginning and end of each 12 Step meeting[1].
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
The prayer emphasizes the core AA principle of acceptance. In order to change something, you must first accept its reality – to “accept the things I cannot change.”
What things can you not change? For example, you can’t change things you’ve done in the past. You can’t change other people.
Remember that while there may be things you can’t immediately change, you may be able to take steps toward making positive change.
That’s where the next part of the prayer comes in: “the courage to change the things I can.”
What can you do today that is a step toward making the changes you want in your life? If you believe those steps will be difficult, this prayer helps you summon the courage you need to do it.
It can be hard to assess what is yours to change and what is not. That’s what the last part of the prayer addresses: “the wisdom to know the difference.”
Often this wisdom comes from looking at a situation as if you were a third party who is objective and reasonable. What would a reasonable person do?
What would they accept as something they couldn’t change, and what would they see as something they could take steps to change, even if it requires some courage to do it?
The First Step Prayer
Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
The prayer for this step helps sweep away the denial that you may have about your situation to see it in a clear-eyed way.
Higher Power,
I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand
The true meaning of powerlessness.
Remove from me all denial of my addiction.
The Third Step Prayer
Step Three: Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.
The prayer for this step states your decision to surrender to the guidance of your Higher Power.
Note that making a decision to do something isn’t necessarily the same as actually doing it. For example, when you decide to go to the store, that doesn’t mean you’ve already done it.
Turning over your self-will to your Higher Power usually isn’t a one-time event. It takes practice. You may find you revise this step and prayer often.
This version of the third-step prayer is simple and straight to the point.
Higher Power,
Take my will & my life,
Guide me in my recovery,
Show me how to live.
The Seventh Step Prayer
Step Seven: Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.
The prayer for this step comes from your willingness to set your ego aside and acknowledge all aspects of your character, whether positive or negative.
It’s a direct request for your Higher Power to release you from the parts of yourself that have undermined your ability to have the life you want.
Higher Power,
I am now willing that you should have all of me, good & bad.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character
Which stands in the way of my usefulness to you & my fellows.
Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding.
The Eleventh Step Prayer
Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
There is more than one prayer for this step. Regardless of the one you choose, the prayer for this step is about asking for guidance from your Higher Power and whatever it takes to follow that guidance.
In the original Big Book of AA, there are three prayers for the eleventh step, often used by people in the program at different times of the day.
God, direct my thinking, especially that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty, or self-seeking motives.
God, give me inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision.
God, show me all throughout my day what my next step is to be.
Give me whatever I need to take care of any problems. I ask especially for freedom from self-will.
However, one of the most popular prayers for the eleventh step (often incorrectly attributed to St. Francis) is beautifully worded:
Higher Power, as I understand you,
make me a channel of your peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love,
That where it is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony,
that where there is an error, I may bring truth,
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith,
that where there is despair, I may bring hope,
that where there are shadows, I may bring light,
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted,
to understand than to be understood,
to love than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen
FOR MORE SUPPORT, SEE THESE ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
- What Is MAT?
- Vivitrol Shot for Alcohol – What is it used for?
- Alcohol Addiction Treatment
