When you're caught up in the excitement of your wedding, it can be hard to imagine that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. But sharing your life with another person can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful.
A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.
Communicate clearly and often
Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate. Part of good communication is being a good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you. Keep the lines of communication open by talking often, and not just about things like bills and the kids. Share your thoughts and feelings.
Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having them in your life
Appreciate each other, your relationship, your family, and your lives together. Show gratitude when your partner cooks dinner, helps the kids with their homework, or does the grocery shopping. It may help to take a few minutes each evening to tell each other at least one thing you appreciated that day.
Make time for you two as a couple
With work and family responsibilities, it can be easy to lose the romance factor. Plan special dates, either to go out or just stay at home. If you have children, send them on a play date while you relax, talk, and enjoy each other's company.
Plan for some personal time
Alone time is just as important as couple time. Everyone needs time to recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests. That time is often lost when you're married, especially if you have kids. Go out with friends, take a class, or do volunteer work, whatever you find enriching. When you're back together with your spouse, you'll appreciate each other even more.
Understand that it's OK to disagree
You won't agree on everything, but it is important to be fair and respectful during disagreements. Listen to your spouse's point of view. Try not to get angry and don't let yourself become too frustrated. Walk away and calm down if you need to, then discuss the problem again when you're both in a better frame of mind. Compromise on problems so that you both give a little.
Build trust
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are serious threats to the success of a marriage. The more a couple engages in these destructive activities, the more likely they may divorce. Studies indicate that spouses who stay together know how to disagree or argue without being hostile and to take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes to make up after fights and repair the relationship.
Learn to forgive
Everyone makes mistakes. Your spouse may hurt your feelings or do something that upsets you, and that may make you angry, even furious. But it's important to deal with your feelings, let them go, and move on. Don’t keep bringing up the past.
Remember to remain committed to your spouse, your family, and the life that you have built together. Support each other emotionally and in everyday ways. You, your spouse, and your relationship may grow and change with time, but these ideas can help your marriage stay successful over the years.
FAQs
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment. Think about how to use communication to make your partner feel needed, desired and appreciated.
What are the 3 C's of a successful marriage? ›
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment. Think about how to use communication to make your partner feel needed, desired and appreciated.
What is the number one key to a successful marriage? ›
Honesty and Trust.
Honesty and trust become the foundation for everything in a successful marriage. But unlike most of the other essentials on this list, trust takes time. You can become selfless, committed, or patient in a moment, but trust always takes time.
What are the 7 principles of successful marriage summary? ›
These principles include: enhancing their "love maps"; nurturing their fondness and admiration; turning toward each other instead of away; letting their spouse influence them; solving their solvable problems; overcoming gridlock; and creating a shared sense of meaning.
What is the secret ingredient to a happy marriage? ›
Communication is to a marriage what gasoline is to an automobile: without it, you're not going anywhere. And the better the communication, the longer the “motor” will last. The words we choose to connect with others are incredibly important. Use the right ones and you generate feelings of love, safety, and security.
What are the 3 R's in marriage? ›
Basically it comes down to three important things — resilience, respect, and responsiveness. Showing respect is one of the most powerful, loving things a couple can do in their marriage.
What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›
Respect each other
One of the greatest rules of a happy marriage is respect.
What is the biggest secret to a successful marriage? ›
Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.
- Communicate clearly and often. ...
- Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having them in your life. ...
- Make time for you two as a couple. ...
- Plan for some personal time. ...
- Understand that it's OK to disagree. ...
- Build trust. ...
- Learn to forgive.
What are the five pillars of marriage? ›
5 Pillars of a Healthy Relationship
- Communication. It has been said that “communication is key” and that statement still stands true. ...
- Humility. Having humility in your relationship means you are able to admit fault, take responsibility, and apologize. ...
- Trust. ...
- Empathy. ...
- Respect.
What is the 7 7 7 rule for marriage? ›
Here's how the 777 Rule works: every seven days you go on a date, every seven weeks you go away for the night and every seven months the two of you head off on a romantic holiday. It might sound a tad prescriptive, and an à deux holiday almost twice a year could be one too many, but nevertheless we get the point.
Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.
What's the most important thing in a marriage? ›
Many will say “communication, communication, communication,” but, while honesty is an integral part of any relationship, the strongest relationships are based on something far more important: a genuine connection. The answer is simple, but in practice, it can be a little more difficult to than you might think.
What makes marriage sweeter? ›
And that's how one of the ways You keep it sweet, communication, praying with your wife, just adoring your wife and letting her know how lovely she is all the time as a reminder, not as a pretentious thing, but constantly just reminding her of how lovely and precious she is.
What is the secret to a healthy marriage? ›
Couples thrive when they share similar interests. That doesn't necessarily mean each partner will enjoy every activity but it opens up the opportunity for greater sharing and compromise. Doing things separately is not bad but common interests are important to healthy marriages.
What keeps a marriage happy? ›
There are many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening , Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness/Ability to Compromise, Constructive ...
What are the 3 pillars of marriage love commitment? ›
In his triangular theory of love, psychologist Robert Sternberg suggested that good, loving relationships rest on three pillars–intimacy, passion, and commitment.
What are the 3 values of marriage? ›
In a healthy, functional relationship, values such as connection, caring, and contribution are paramount. These successful relationship values help couples navigate the complexities of their shared lives, providing a compass that keeps their relationship on course.
What are the 3 C's of a relationship? ›
The three C's – Communication, Compromise, and Commitment – are well-known building blocks of a strong and healthy relationship. But what about the qualities that elevate a relationship from ordinary to extraordinary?
What are the 3 foundations of marriage? ›
The three foundations of marriage are the marital friendship, the marital love affair, and repair of injuries. The marital friendship is the time, energy, love, attention, and play you share with your spouse. Like a good friend, you value time with your spouse and plan fun activities.