Every family's financial situation is different. Whether you can be a stay-at-home-parent depends on whether you can survive on your partner’s salary alone.
Simply adding up your monthly outgoings and subtracting them from your partner’s take-home pay may show that you can’t afford to give up work.
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Our guide will help you look more closely at your budget, and if there’s a way to make it work.
Where can I cut costs?
To work out where to make savings, start by making a list of all your regular outgoings, such as:
- savings contributions or loan repayments
- memberships and subscriptions
- internet, TV and phone bills
- fuel and car payments
- mortgage or rent
- food shopping
- utility bills
- insurance
Next, make a list of other expenses. This may include things like holidays, evenings out, clothes, haircuts, and Christmas and birthday gifts. Build in a comfortable cushion for unanticipated costs, like car and home repairs.
For the next month or so, make a note of everything you and your partner spend, and what you spend it on. Some banks provide an online cost breakdown service or app. Or you could keep a notepad in your bag or save your receipts, and add them up at the end of each day.
Using all this information, you should now be able to work out how much you spend each month.
Subtract this amount from your partner's wages. If you still have money left after this, then it's a good bet that you can afford to be a stay-at-home parent without cutting any costs.
However, if you spend more money than one income will bring in, you and your partner need to sit down and discuss where you can save.
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Go through your regular expenses first. Can you save by changing energy supplier or insurance provider? There are plenty of comparison websites that will help you work this out.
Next, look at all the little costs you made a note of. You may be surprised by what’s really draining your bank account. For example, you may think £3 for a cup of coffee each day doesn't sound like much. But dropping it could save you about £90 a month.
Write out a new budget taking into account all your potential cost-savings. Subtract this new figure from your partner's take-home pay once more. If you have money to spare, even if it's tight, then you can probably afford not to work.
Does working create costs?
Yes, working usually creates some costs. Think about how much you spend on petrol, parking, bus fares or train fares. Take into account how much work clothes, dry cleaning and lunches cost you, too.
You also need to count in childcare expenses. If you stay at home, you won’t be paying for a nursery, childminder or nanny.
The average cost of childcare is just over £100 a week for a childminder, about £210 for nurseries, and up to £350 a week for a live-in nanny. These costs will vary depending on where you live.
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If you don’t know the going rate for childcare in your area, do some research so you’ll have a good idea of how much it costs.
Of course, you’ll still need to buy clothes, eat lunch, and pay for an occasional babysitter, whether you work or not. But these costs will be far lower if you become a stay-at-home parent .
It's also worth bearing in mind that you may be entitled to more benefits if your household income is lower.
What can I do if I'm still not sure we can afford for me to stay at home?
In an ideal world, all your adding and subtracting will reveal a clear yes or no answer to whether you can afford not to work. Unfortunately, there are times where the answer is much less clear.
If the numbers are close, you still have some thinking to do. With your new budget in hand, sit down with your partner and consider your options.
Are there other ways to cut back on your monthly costs that you didn't want to think about before? Perhaps giving up your annual holiday abroad, or shopping for clothes second-hand? These sacrifices must be ones that you agree upon together.
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If you've considered all your options, and it's still a close call, remember that your decision doesn't have to be forever. If you decide to stay at home but realise after a few months that you can't afford it, you can always take up work again then.
Likewise if you go back to work and decide it hasn't made enough difference in your income, you can always hand in your notice.
What if we can’t afford for me to be a stay-at-home parent?
Sometimes, after cutting your budget as much as you can, living on one income is still not an option. In this case, you may want to see if you can adjust your working hours.
Could you work part-time? Will your employer let you work from home on some days or be flexible about when you start and finish work?
Some parents prefer to work four 10-hour days instead of five eight-hour days. And some couples work staggered shifts so that one parent is always with the children.
However, if you both need to work full-time during the day, don't be too disheartened. Rest assured that the bond you have with your child won't lessen as a result. They'll still love you just as much, and you'll find that the time you do get together is all the more special.
What else do I need to consider before becoming a stay-at-home parent?
Think about the long-term impact on your career prospects if you give up work to look after your children. If you return to the job market in a few years’ time, you may not earn as much as you would if you had remained employed.
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Similarly, the skills needed for your job may change over time, which could make it harder to get back into work.
If you want to return to the same line of work, you could keep up with news and developments in your field. You could also study online to keep your skills up to date, though this may be an additional expense.
You also need to think about how you'll feel emotionally. If you stay at home, you may have days where you don't speak to an adult for hours on end. However, you may feel like you're "missing out" on time with your child if you return to work.
Of course, there's no right or wrong decision here. Don't spend time worrying about what you should be doing, or if you'll be judged. The most important thing is that your choice works for you and your family.
If you do become a stay-at-home parent, start laying the groundwork now. Create a budget, plan ahead and try to reduce your costs gradually.
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Learn more easy ways to save money.
