Never been swept up in the crowds visiting the famous Birmingham German Christmas Market before?
Fear not - you simply haven't lived!
So here's our full monty beginner's guide to absolutely all of the things you need to know about the greatest show in town.
It's essential reading if you want to make the most of your day.
Once you have worked out how to get there, where will you find the nearest cashpoints?
And, if you drink plenty of beer or gluhwein on a cold day, where will you find the nearest loos?
Read on with our all-encompassing guide to this year's 20th anniversary market - which is running from Thursday, November 7 to Monday, December 23 - and enjoy a brilliant day out to remember.
Just don't forget your camera to capture it.
Especially if you are there during a memorable twilight hour from around 4pm-5pm which can be the most magical time of all.
Where is it?
In a nutshell, it's in New Street and Victoria Square - that's B1 1BD for those needing a postcode.
The main part of the market fills all of Victoria Square between the end of Colmore Row and Birmingham Town Hall.
It then snakes all the way down New Street to where it ends at High Street facing Waterstones - Britain's tallest bookshop!
There are no stalls on the stretch of New Street between Lower Temple Street and Bennetts Hill (where Pret A Manger and the Piccadilly Arcade are) so you can have a breather - but note that cars and taxis will still be able to drive here.
How to get there
Birmingham City Council is waging war on motorists and it's harder than ever to drive into the city centre.
The nearest car parks are Birmingham Town Hall (aka The Cage) and Grand Central NCP.
But accessing them both on busy Saturday afternoons in the run-up to Christmas can be difficult given that people are trying to drive to and from New Street Railway Station as well.
Here's our guide to all of the best places to park, near and far.
Buses suffer from road congestion, too, so try to travel by train if you can to one of the city's three stations.
From Moor Street
From the main entrance, walk across Moor Street Queensway and follow the steps up towards the Rotunda - its base is where the market starts at the junction of High Street and New Street.
Or you can take the escalators or lifts up through Primark to reach High Street at the risk of getting distracted inside the world's biggest store!
From Snow Hill
Come out of the main entrance and turn right up Colmore Row. After 400 yards you will be in Victoria Square ready to tackle the market in the opposite direction.
From New Street Station
Once you are inside the Grand Central atrium, head towards the Stephenson Street / Navigation Street exit.
After a 100 yard walk up Lower Temple Street you will join the market in the middle of New Street.
Turn right to head towards the start at High Street. Turn left to go up towards Victoria Square.
The Midland Metro tram from Wolverhampton takes visitors past Snow Hill Station through to Bull Street ,Corporation Street and then Grand Central / New Street Station via Stephenson Street.
The best place to alight is probably lower Corporation Street.
From here you can turn left on New Street to go to the High Street start, or right to head up towards Victoria Square.
Which way's best?
If you can start at the High Street end, you will see the new wooden rectangular 'arch' welcoming visitors to 'Birmingham's Frankfurt Christmas Market'.
You can than walk all the way up the tree-lined New Street towards Victoria Square - if you are returning the same way stay on a different side of the street to see all of the stalls.
By starting at Victoria Square, you will find yourself going round in mini-circles to see all of the sites there, before walking down the steps into New Street.
If you are not going to be returning the same way back to Victoria Square, zig-zag down the street to see all of the stalls.
Key attractions
The market has a carousel on the Town Hall side of Victoria Square - great for children who don't get to see a lot when the streets are packed with revellers taller than they are.
The square also has 'Chris the Singing Moose' (above a bar close to the Council House), a sit on Santa and a there's a reindeer where you can put your face inside for a funny fairground-style photo.
The whole market has two giant Christmas trees.
The one in Victoria Square is on stilts so you can now drink underneath it as well as admire its new decorative features above.
There is another tree outside of the Apple store, pictured above.
Centenary Way has been fully reopened allowing families to walk easily from Victoria Square to Centenary Square where Ice Skate Birmingham is back after three years with three attractions.
They include The Ice Rink, 40m Big Wheel and the stunning 55m City Flyer ride which flings you around like Spider-Man.
For details of the prices of these, click here
Even regular visitors to the market who don't normally come into town will be interested to see how the new Midland Metro tram line is looking up Pinfold Street and Paradise Street in front of Birmingham Town Hall.
Engineers say the line should be serving Centenary Square before Christmas.
Food, drink, trinkets and more
The German Market has several places to buy beers and gluhwein as well as bratwurst and other meat specialities, chocolate treats and crepes. Different stalls selling the same item charge the same prices.
Some of the other souvenir trinket stalls selling the same things are spread out too, so if you are pushed for time you can see most of what the market has to offer just by visiting either Victoria Square in isolation or even half of New Street.
For the famous roast hams, go to the stall opposite the steps to the Council House and there is a burger stall facing away from Birmingham Town Hall, also in Victoria Square.
There are more specialised stalls, too, including the flavoured beans of Meyart Coffee on New Street between Bennetts Hill and Victoria Square (facing the right side of New Street as you walk up the hill) as well as the Imkerei gift baskets with honey products (facing Ethel Street).
Cashpoints
The best way of spending money on the Birmingham German Christmas Market is to use cash.
But note that the prices of the sausages are up to 12.5 per cent higher this year.
While the market is free to enter, a £5 pint of beer and a £4.50 bratwurst will leave you with just 50p change from a tenner.
And you'll also need another £3 deposit on top of that just to hire one glass - so that's an initial outlay of £12.50 per person.
Walking from High Street to Victoria Square, this is where those all-important banks and cashpoints are in order of appearance...
Nationwide, 21 High Street (Rotunda Square) - two cashpoints outside, four inside.
Barclays, 79-84 High Street (opposite main Primark entrance) - two outside, four inside.
Metro Bank, 85-88 High Street (corner of New Street and High Street) - two outside. This branch has the longest hours of any city bank, opening daily from 8am to 8pm, Saturdays 8am to 6pm and from 11am to 5pm on Sundays (closed only on New Year's Day, Easter Sunday and Christmas Day).
New Street - part one
These cashpoints are on the left hand side when walking towards Victoria Square. They are all between High Street and Corporation Street.
Clydesdale Bank, 138 New Street - two cashpoints outside.
RBS, 144 New Street - currently closed for refurbishment.
TSB, 134 New Street - two cashpoints outside, two inside.
HSBC, 130 New Street - two outside, three inside.
Corporation Street
Santander, 23 Corporation St (lower side on left looking up the hill) - two cashpoints outside.
New Street - part two
The following are on the right hand side as you walk between Corporation Street and Victoria Square.
Lloyds Bank, 36/38 New Street - there is one cashpoint outside at bottom of Corporation Street and there are two outside on New Street (opposite Christmas tree and Apple store). It has three more cashpoints inside, too.
Tesco Metro, Caxton Gate, New Street, two cashpoints outside either side of the entrance on New Stree (at bottom of Temple Street).
Between Bennetts Hill and Victoria Square there are small branches of the Yorkshire Building Society and The West Brom.
Cashpoints further afield
There is a Lloyds Bank at the corner of Cherry Street and Temple Row West with cashpoints inside and out.
There is a NatWest nearby at 1 St Phillip's Place at the corner of Temple Row West.
NatWest also has another branch closer to the German Market - it's at the top of 'the ramp' just off New Street (68A East Mews, Grand Central).
There are more standalone cashpoints inside the main atrium of Grand Central close to the platforms at New Street Station.
Missing cashpoints
Nationwide closed down a year ago on Bennetts Hill while the Coventry Building Society and Santander have both relocated away from New Street (Santander has also closed on Union Street).
The former Halifax at the corner of New Street and Victoria is now a Nando's while the Lloyds Bank on Colmore Row close to Victoria Square has also been closed for two years.
Coffee Shops
These have again been compiled as if walking from High Street / Bullring end of the market up towards New Street.
There is a Costa on the first floor of Next overlooking Rotunda Square.
Walking up New Street, on the left there is another Costa inside the Odeon Cinema.
All of the other coffee shops are beyond Corporation Street towards Victoria Square.
On the left at the corner of Lower Temple Street is a Starbucks opposite Tim Hortons (just down Lower Temple Street you will find three more - 200 Degrees, Caffè Nero and another Costa).
Walking towards Bennetts Hill, there's a new T4 bubble tea shop on the right and then a two-storey Pret A Manger.
Beyond Bennetts Hill, there's Second Coffee Cup on the right, but EAT. on the left near to Victoria Square has closed down.
If you are in Victoria Square, there is a big Starbucks at the end of Colmore Row across from the independent Java Lounge.
Greggs
If you want a Greggs' vegan sausage roll or even a simple cheese and tomato sandwich, head to Greggs on The Ramp or you can sit inside at 85 New Street near to Victoria Square.
Pizzas
If you don't want German food from the market, there's an underground Pizza Hut near to the Odeon Cinema at 135/137 New Street.
There is a Bella Italia at the foot of Bennetts Hill, with Ask Italian on the corner and Wildwood Pizza up towards Victoria Square on the right.
Bennetts Hill has seen two new pizza restaurants open this year - Franco Manca and Rudy's while the JD Wetherspoon Briar Rose is always packed there, too.
Burgers
The main burger bar on New Street in the middle of the German Market is Byron's Hamburgers at the corner of Ethel Street - or there's a Nando's inside the former Halifax at the corner of New Street and Victoria Square (next to the main Christmas tree).
There is a McDonald's on The Ramp as well as on Cherry Street between Birmingham Cathedral and Corporation Street and also where the far end of High Street (from New Street) meets Dale End.
Before you get that far, Burger King is at the bottom of Union Street where it meets High Street (opposite M&S).
Post Offices
The city's main post office is at 1 Pinfold St, Birmingham B2 4AA - it's at the top of New Street (on the left) opposite Victoria Square.
There is another Post Office opposite the JD Wetherspoon pub The Square Peg at the Priory Queensway end of Corporation Street - but that's some 600 yards from New Street.
Toilets
There are temporary toilets in Victoria Square next to Waterloo Street.
If you prefer to use permanent facilities, the largest collection of public loos is in Grand Central - just up the stairs (escalators and lift also available) at the Stephenson Street / Lower Temple Street entrance.
There are many coffee shops and restaurants in the area but some have coded locks accessible via numbers printed on receipts.
Pubs and Bars
Pubs on New Street include The Post Office Vaults (entrance on New Street next to Greggs as well as at 84 Pinfold Street) and Bacchus (Burlington Arcade B2 4HJ).
Side street boozers nearest to the German Market on New Street include The Shakespeare (Lower Temple Street), The Trocadero (Temple Street) and The Windsor (Cannon Street) - and if you want a hearty pie don't miss the award-winning Old Joint Stock on Temple Row West.
There are many more pubs, bars and cafes on Bennetts Hill, Waterloo Street and Stephenson Street close to the German Market as well as Church Street, Cornwall Street, Edmund Street and Newhall Street on the other side of Colmore Row.
Grand Central and Bullring shopping centres also have many family friendly restaurants, cafes and diners and New Street Station has an All Bar One.
Hotels
The closest hotels to the German Market are the JD Wetherspoon Briar Rose on Bennetts Hill which we reviewed here; Britannia Hotel on New Street which we reviewed here, Premier Inn on Stephenson Place and the Macdonald Burlington, Burlington Arcade.
The Rotunda also includes Staying Cool Serviced Apartments and there are Staybridge Suites at Martineau Place, Corporations.
Places to stay five minutes' walk from the German Market include the Premier Inn, Waterloo Street, the Hotel du Vin, Church Street and Malmaison which is part of the Mailbox.
Big shops
Birmingham is proud of its shopping facilities with its main centres including The Mailbox (Harvey Nichols), Bullring (Selfridges and Debenhams) and Grand Central (John Lewis).
The world's biggest Primark is on High Street close to the start of the market at the lower end of New Street and House of Fraser is still operating four floors on Corporation Street having mothballed three levels including the basem*nt.
Marks & Spencer is on High Street opposite the bottom of Union Street and Next overlooks Rotunda Square at the lower end of New Street where the German Market begins.
The Maibox is best for independents and smaller chains, Grand Central and Bullring for ubiquitous branded names like GAP and H&M.
Safety
The market will be patrolled by RetailBID security staff as well as the police and other marshalls.
As with any busy environment, keep a good eye on your personal belongings and be aware of any distraction theft opportunities in crowded areas.
If you have young children or are using a pram, try to visit the market in the morning during a weekday to avoid getting stuck.
The markets' main entrances - Colmore Row, New Street / Corporation Street and New Street all have anti-terror barriers and obstacles so allow extra time to walk through these areas.
Remember to look and listen out for trams when you are on New Street and have to cross Corporation Street.
If you see anything suspicious, report it immediately.
Christmas 2019
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With so much rebuilding work constantly going on, Birmingham has had several instances in recent years of electrical fires starting beneath pavements, most recently on Friday, November 1 directly outside of Tim Hortons coffee shop. Such instances are thankfully rare.
Above all, allow plenty of time to enjoy the market without being in a rush.
The more time you give it, the longer you will want to stay.
If you try to do it too quickly on a busy day, you will simply be frustrated by the congestion which is rarely as bad as you think it is.
