At a recent business meet-up in my private club, a close friend approached me with an intriguing question that got me pondering: "Dude, how do you effortlessly connect with people?" I've always been that person who seems to have a knack for understanding others, but I never really stopped to think about it. As we sat together, enjoying our lattes, it suddenly hit me—I had actually stumbled upon an effective methodology years ago while reading Jack Schafer's book, "The Like Switch."
This method had become a subconscious practice that never failed me, no matter the situation or culture. And with that conversation, it dawned on me - it's time to share this with others, like you, who are on a journey of cultivating deeper connections and growing their networks.
This methodology is based on Schafer's Four Pillars of Networking:
1. Proximity:
Proximity speaks to the physical distance and shared environment between you and another person. Being in the same vicinity as a potential connection is critical. People sharing physical space are more likely to form an attachment, even when words are not exchanged. But remember, this must occur in a non-threatening environment. Keep a comfortable distance initially to avoid triggering defensive mechanisms.
Let's consider the situation we find ourselves in due to the ongoing pandemic. Many people working from home grew closer to their families, while healthcare workers working longer hours bonded more with their colleagues. The principle of proximity subtly played out in these scenarios, reinforcing the impact of shared physical space on relationships.
2. Frequency:
Frequency signifies the number of contacts you make with another person over time. However, a single encounter isn't enough to spark affinity. A series of engagements, even non-verbal ones like making eye contact, gradually warm up the relationship.
3. Duration:
Duration is the length of time you spend with another individual over time. Just as with proximity and frequency, duration doesn't always have to involve verbal exchanges. Spending extended periods in the same environment contributes to the relationship's depth.
4. Intensity:
Intensity involves meeting another person's psychological or physical needs through verbal and nonverbal behaviors. This element is the final dimension that truly solidifies a relationship.
To bring these abstract concepts to life, let's imagine a scenario at your favorite coffee shop. You're there every Monday and soon begin to recognize familiar faces. One day, you decide to introduce yourself. "Hey, I see you here every Monday. I'm John. What's your name?"
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With each ensuing encounter, your conversations evolve. You share your passion for music, discovering a shared interest. This mutual enthusiasm intensifies your interactions. Your proximity and frequency are already established, so you can decide to heighten these pillars further.
This is where social media comes in handy, providing an illusion of proximity and frequency. You're fostering more regular interaction by following each other, liking posts, commenting, and exchanging direct messages. You're staying on their radar.
And this, dear friends, is the beauty of social media for business and networking.
Increase the intensity by focusing on shared passions and experiences to deepen your connection. Conversely, if you wish to disengage from a relationship or community, gently decrease these four pillars, enabling a graceful exit.
Though simple, this strategy is not quick. It's a slow burn, which is part of its global effectiveness.
As you embark on your networking journey, remember one thing: sincerity is key. Strive for genuine connections over transactional relationships. In my experience, the value derived from friendships has far surpassed that of mere connections. Your network is your net worth, but only if the relationships within it are rich and rewarding.
Now, let's talk about the reality of business growth. As an executive, as your vision broadens and you start seeing larger opportunities, one of the most challenging tasks is to master the art of saying "no." It's about discerning and prioritizing the opportunities knocking at your door. In the end, being preoccupied with minor ventures could cost you a shot at something much larger.
My journey has been filled with these lessons. From being a part of million-dollar operations to scaling a business from 15k to 5 million in 2022, these experiences have added layers to my understanding of business. It's these invaluable insights I aspire to share inside of my Facebook group.
Think of my Facebook group as a cozy, virtual coffee shop. Here, the principles of proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity come to life in our interactions. We gather to share experiences, exchange knowledge, and genuinely understand each other, intending to provide reciprocal value. It's about extending our networks organically while learning and growing together.
If you've found this article valuable, engaging with it is a great way to let me know. Your likes, shares, and comments will serve as a gauge to the usefulness of these articles. And of course, constructive feedback is always welcomed. Your thoughts and suggestions are what drive me to provide more value and refine my approaches.
So, if this article resonates with you, I invite you to join the conversation in my virtual coffee shop. It's a space dedicated to authentic networking and collective learning. Hop in, and let's explore the power of connections together. I look forward to welcoming you!
Until then, happy networking!
