Self-talk (2024)

What is self-talk?

Self-talk is the way you talk to yourself, or your inner voice. You might not be aware that you're doing it but you almost certainly are.

This inner voice starts from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed and can help you:

• process experiences
• make decisions
• ask questions

Self-talk is important because it has a big impact on how you feel, what you do and even how you manage pain. It can be supportive and motivate you, or it can be negative and lower your confidence.

What is negative self-talk?

Negative self-talk is when your inner voice is:

• overly critical
• pessimistic
• focused on the bad

Negative self-talk can:

• lower your confidence
• stop you from reaching your potential
• make you believe that you are going to fail before you start

Negative self-talk can sound like:

• “I’m never going to be able to do this.”
• “I’m no good at this.”
• “Nothing’s ever going to get better.”

Tips to stop negative self-talk

Negative self-talk can become repetitive and overwhelming and often feels like it’s true. To break out of that cycle, try these tips:

• Be aware of what you’re saying to yourself. Stopping and recognising negative thoughts is the first step to working through the problem. Ask yourself, would you talk like this to someone else?
• Challenge your thoughts. Ask yourself “Is it true?” Often, it’s not. Ask yourself if there’s another explanation or way of looking at a situation. Remember that many things you worry about don’t happen.
• Write it down. Try writing your thoughts down or saying them out loud. It can reduce the impact of negative thoughts.
• Watch what you are taking in. Be aware of the messages you are taking in through the media or on social media. Watching, reading or listening to ongoing negative information can increase stress.
• Replace the thought with a positive thought. For example, if you think “I won’t be able to cope with this situation”, you can change that thought to “I am coping quite well, given everything else that is going on. This situation is stressful, but it will pass”.

It can take some time to recognise your negative thoughts. They may have been part of you for a long time. Over time, and the more you practice, the easier it will become to replace unhealthy negative thoughts with more positive ones.

How can self-talk affect my mental health?

Your self-talk can affect your self-esteem, confidence and mental health and therefore your relationships with others.

If you mainly think negatively about yourself, you will feel bad most of the time. This can drag you down — or if you’re already feeling down, it can be hard to get back up. Negative self-talk often increases stress and anxiety and can add to depression and post-traumatic stress. The constant negative talk can be overwhelming and difficult to break out of.

Negative self-talk can make it more difficult to deal with pain. It can also affect a person’s confidence and body image.

Negative self-talk can also lead to stress and perfectionism.

What are the benefits of positive self-talk?

If you mainly think positively about yourself, you will feel good and optimistic most of the time. Research shows that positive self-talk can:

• improve self-esteem, stress management and wellbeing
• reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety
• reduce your risk of self-harm and suicide
• make you feel more in control of your life
• help with pain
• help you to achieve your goals

Tips to improve positive self-talk

Positive self-talk helps you feel better about yourself. Here are some tips to improve your positive self-talk:

• Practise thinking good things about yourself. Very simply, practise seeing a glass as being half full, rather than half empty.
• Identify your strengths as part of your self-talk and accept compliments for what you have achieved.
• Look, think and act in a positive way.
• Surround yourself with positive and optimistic people.
• Try to turn negative talk into neutral or positive self-talk.

When should I see my doctor?

If you find negative self-talk overwhelming, talk to your doctor about it. They can refer you to a mental health professional and help you build a mental health care plan if needed.

Resources and support

healthdirect provides a list of Australian mental health resources, grouped by subject and type of support offered.

Other organisations that provide further information and support include:

• ReachOut has online resources for young Australians to help with mental health issues and enable them to develop resilience and facilitate help-seeking behaviour.
• Beyond Blue is for anyone feeling depressed or anxious. Call 1300 22 4636 or chat online.
• Lifeline offers 24 hour crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14 or chat online.
• Suicide Call Back Service is a free service providing 24/7 phone and online counselling to people affected by suicide. Call 1300 659 467.
• SANE Australia support people living with a mental health issues. Call 1800 187 263.
• Black Dog Institute provides online help for people affected by mood disorders.
• QLife provides counselling and referral services for LGBTIQ+ individuals.

Looking for information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people?

• Beyond blue has helpful contacts for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people.
• 13YARN for free and confidential services run by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander People. Call 13 92 76.
• Black Dog Institute provides social and emotional wellbeing resources for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people.

Looking for information in languages other than English?

• Beyond Blue offers mental health information in various languages. Information is grouped by subject area to help you find what you're looking for.
• THIS WAY UP’s translated coping tools and worksheets are available in various languages.
• Transcultural Mental Health provides information and services for people from other cultures or people who prefer languages other than English.