Rudeness vs misconduct: Dealing with aggression at work (2024)

BY Emily Douglas 30 Aug 2023

There’s a fine line between rudeness and misconduct in the workplace – and walking that line can seem like a tightrope for HR leaders. After all, what one employee deems a joke another may find offensive, making it tricky for employers to come down definitively on any misconduct.

According to a recent report from Porath, 76% of employees say they experience rudeness at work once a month or more, with 78% having witnessed rudeness on a frequent basis.

But what’s the deciding factors of rudeness? Having represented both employers and employees, Emilia Arutunian, Partner and Director of Employment Litigation at Gomez Trial Attorneys, tells HRD that she’s seen both ends of the spectrum.

Communication flaws around harassment

“There's a fine line between behaviour perceived as rude and actual harassment,” she says. “An employer's duty and an HR's duty is to assess if the behaviour was simply inefficient communication, or whether it actually crossed the line to constitute harassment.”

Miscommunication often underpins perceived rudeness, says Arutunian.

“Sometimes, it could be a supervisor giving critical feedback--- but the manner of communication may come off as rude or as creating a hostile work environment,” she tells HRD.

Considering cultural and organizational values is also crucial in this discussion – as was seen in a 2018 case in Vancouver.

A French waiter was fired for allegedly being “aggressive, rude and disrespectful” – however, he argued back that this conduct was simply part and parcel of “being French”. The employee argued that his colleagues misinterpreted his “honest” French personality, CBC reports. And while his employer sought to have the waiter’s human rights complaint dismissed, a tribunal rejected the application.

Mind the ‘generation gap’ with rudeness

And it’s not just about perceived rudeness – generational divides can also play a role. Now, more than ever before, there’s a diversity of generations working under one roof – meaning that societal nuances can sometimes clash.

In today's globalized workplace, interactions span across diverse cultural backgrounds and ages.

“I would even say there are generational differences with how communication may be perceived and whether a certain level of negative communication is acceptable,” says Arutunian. “Twenty years ago, something that could have been considered acceptable in terms of treatment of employees may now be intolerable to Generation Z employees .”

“The standard for what may constitute a hostile work environment has shifted dramatically in recent years.”

Raised voices or profanity

But when does rudeness cross the line into misconduct or even harassment? Arutunian firmly believes that raising voices or resorting to profanity in any professional setting is unacceptable.

“You know when rudeness turns into misconduct,” she says. “It is anytime voices are raised – and there should never be profanity in the workplace That’s just not acceptable. Some industries or workplaces may have cultures where profanity is generally considered acceptable, but employers and Human Resources departments need to be making consistent efforts to eliminate profanity and other elements of hostile work environments however they can.”.

"There should never be a time when a supervisor is allowed to be rude to his or her employees, even if they make a mistake. Delivery of criticism must be in a diplomatic manner.

For organizations aiming to foster a respectful environment, Arutunian advises coaching over confrontation.

"Always approach the situation neutrally, coaching the individual about the exact issues that arise and setting clear expectations of how situations should be handled,” she says. “Always get everything in writing. If an oral conversation takes place, send a follow-up e-mail. This ensures clarity and prevents future conflicts.”

Progressive discipline as an alternative

The million-dollar question – when can you terminate a worker for being ‘rude’? And can they fight back? As seen in the Vancouver case, it’s difficult to ascertain what is and what isn’t rude – and while you can fire an employee, it’s not always advisable to do so, especially taking into consideration potential legal repercussions.

However, if an employee is acting in a way that is offensive to their colleagues, there are a few steps that should be taken first. Initially, ensure that a record of the behavior is documented, says Arutunian. Further, if your Company has a progressive discipline policy, and the offensive behavior does not constitute an immediately terminable offense,, start with a disciplinary action policy rather than termination. Try to work with the employee through coaching to improve behaviour before making terminating if possible. This is where progressive discipline comes in.”

In an earlier interview with HRD, employment lawyer Stuart Rudner explained that this technique should be used in avoidance of quick firings. At its heart, progressive discipline is a system of discipline where the penalties escalate at each instance, culminating in the termination of employment.

"Often, employers consider suspending an employee - and in many cases, suspensions can create a risk of a constructive dismissal claim. Demotion, similarly, is extremely risky. As such, employers don’t have a lot of options available.

“This is where the importance of contracts comes in. Employers can use a contract to provide the right to impose suspensions as a form of discipline. However, without the contractual right, it’s quite risky.”

Unsure how to discipline a rude employee without breaking the law? Read our full interview with Rudner here.