Pros And Cons Of Marrying A Military Man - OurRelationship (2024)

May 1, 2023

by Jackson Weiser

If you’re a military girlfriend who’s thinking about taking the next step with your partner, there are some important things to consider. While becoming a military wife can come with many advantages, it also comes with its own unique set of challenges. In this article, we’ll explore the advantages and disadvantages of being a military spouse and offer tips on how to navigate the difficulties that come with military life. Whether you’re already in a military relationship or just considering one, we hope this article will provide you with valuable insights and information to help you make informed decisions about your future.

Advantages Of Becoming A Military Wife

If you’re a military girlfriend and you’re considering marriage, there are a number of things to keep in mind. Here are some of the benefits of becoming a military spouse:

  • Sense of Patriotism: Military men are often dedicated to their country and willing to sacrifice for their country’s sake. This sense of duty and patriotism can be attractive and inspiring to their partners.
  • Travel Opportunities: Military life often involves moving to different locations around the world, providing an opportunity to experience different cultures and meet new people.
  • Financial Benefits: Military men receive financial benefits, such as steady pay and health insurance, which can provide a sense of stability in a relationship.
  • Strong Work Ethic: Military men are trained to be disciplined, responsible, and hardworking, which can be desirable traits in a partner.

Challenges to Consider

  • Frequent Moves and Deployments: Military life often involves frequent moves and long periods of separation due to deployments. This can put a strain on the relationship and require a great deal of patience and resilience.
  • Emotional Distance: Military men may struggle with emotional detachment due to their training and experiences, which can make it difficult for them to express their feelings and connect with their partners.
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI): Due to the nature of military service, some servicemen struggle with PTSD or TBI. These can have significant impacts on the relationship.
  • Uncertainty and Stress: Military life can be unpredictable and stressful, which can be challenging for both the service member and their partner.

How to Navigate the Cons

To navigate the challenges of dating a military man, it is important to:

  • Communicate Openly: Communication is key in any relationship, but especially in a military relationship. Make sure to honestly discuss your expectations and concerns with your partner.
  • Be Patient and Understanding: Military life can be unpredictable and stressful, so it’s important to be patient and understanding with your partner. Try to be flexible and adaptable, and consider that your partner may be doing their best to balance their service and their personal life.
  • Take Care of Yourself: It is important to solidify your own independence and concentrate on yourself, especially if your partner is away on deployment. Engage in healthy habits and practices such as mindfulness in order to stay present and reduce stress or anxiety, as well.
  • Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor. Joining a support group or seeking military couples counseling can also be helpful in navigating the challenges of military life. Here at OurRelationship, we offer a free program designed for military couples that has been proven to improve relationship and individual problems such as depression and anxiety.

Tips for a Successful Military Marriage

  • Understand and embrace the military lifestyle and culture
  • Communicate effectively and often with your partner
  • Establish realistic expectations for your relationship and each other
  • Prioritize quality time together when possible
  • Make time for self-care and individual pursuits
  • Seek support when needed

How to Maintain a Healthy Work-Life Balance as a Military Couple

  • Set boundaries between work and personal life
  • Find ways to decompress after a long day or week
  • Prioritize rest and relaxation
  • Pursue hobbies and interests outside of work
  • Support each other’s careers and personal goals

To read about how to make your long-distance military relationship work, click here.

Conclusion

Dating a military man can be a unique and rewarding experience, but it comes with its own set of challenges. To navigate these challenges, it’s important to understand the key aspects of military life and culture, be patient and adaptable, and communicate openly with your partner. Emotional challenges can also arise, and it’s important to know that there are resources available for support.

If you are struggling in your military relationship, know that you are not alone. Seek support from military resources or consider counseling to help navigate the challenges. With the right tools and mindset, you and your partner can overcome any obstacle and build a strong, fulfilling relationship that can withstand the challenges of military life.

Learn More about How to Improve Your Relationship!

www.ourrelationship.com

Pros And Cons Of Marrying A Military Man - OurRelationship (2024)

FAQs

Is it a good idea to marry a military man? ›

Dating a military man can be a unique and rewarding experience, but it comes with its own set of challenges. To navigate these challenges, it's important to understand the key aspects of military life and culture, be patient and adaptable, and communicate openly with your partner.

What are the disadvantages of marrying a military man? ›

But military couples have unique, career-specific challenges to face: that of frequent moves, the deployment of the active duty partner, having to constantly adjust and set up routines in new places (often entirely new cultures if the change of station is overseas) all while handling the traditional family ...

What benefits do I get if I marry a military man? ›

Many military benefits and resources are available to spouses.
  • Access to commissaries and exchanges.
  • Free gyms, libraries and other recreation opportunities.
  • Free tax services.
  • Free, confidential non-medical counseling services.
  • Help with education and career goals.
  • Military discounts.

What is the hardest part of being a military wife? ›

Frequent separation, difficulty communicating, frequent moves, long work hours, infidelity, and excessive emotional spending are some of the most difficult things to grapple with when you are a military spouse. Thankfully, there are ways to fight back and build a strong marriage despite the challenges.

Why not to date a military man? ›

When you date someone in the military, you will have to navigate their demanding work schedule. Plus, your partner might move often because of their line of work. Communication can also be challenging when you're dating service members.

What to know before marrying a military man? ›

You'll need to adapt to new social situations, make new friends and get involved — and be prepared for certain obligations to military readiness groups. Do you like your significant other the way they are, or do you think marriage will change them? Keep in mind, it probably won't.

Why do military marriages not last? ›

Marriages that see longer deployments are also more likely to divorce, probably because the increased time apart eventually just becomes too much of a hardship. Finally, deployments where members see combat or weapon usage are also known to be associated with increased risk of divorce.

What do you call a military wife? ›

In its place, DoD should use the term, “spouse,” “partner,” “significant other,” or another neutral term to describe those married to service members. This would align DoD language with the language of the Internal Revenue Service. There, spouses are spouses and dependents are dependents.

What problems do military spouses face? ›

Military life brings additional challenges to couples, including: Frequent separations. Deployments and temporary duty assignments mean that military members spend more time away from home than the average civilian. Missing important events like anniversaries and birthdays can be hard for both members of the couple.

Can a military spouse get in trouble for cheating? ›

If you are a U.S. military member, it can also lead to charges under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) Article 134. Adultery charges not only apply to a married service member but also to those who are single and have an affair with a married individual.

How much is military marriage pay? ›

How much money do military spouses get? Military spouses do not receive pay directly from the military. However, military service members do get a one-time increase in their Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) pay when their spouse (or other dependent) is enrolled in DEERS.

Do military men get more money if they are married? ›

How much more do you make in the military if you are married? In the US military, your base pay doesn't change. If you receive a basic allowance for housing (BAH) you will receive it at the “with dependents” rate if you at least one dependent (spouse, child, or otherwise).

What age do most military men get married? ›

According to a Department of Defense study, nearly half of active duty military personnel get married before they are 25 and two of three are married before the age of 30.

How successful are military marriages? ›

81% of active-duty spouses are satisfied with their marriage. 74% of active-duty spouses have experienced their spouses being deployed for longer than 30 days. 54% of active-duty spouses support their service members staying on active duty.

What are the cons of being a military wife? ›

Spending Long Periods of Time Apart

There is a lot about military life that's difficult, and there's a lot about being a military spouse that's difficult. Active-duty servicemembers spend so much of their life away from home, which can cause considerable stress for all involved.

Do military marriages last? ›

Q: What is the divorce rate among military couples? A: The divorce rate among military couples is 4.8% compared to approximately 2.5% of the general public.

Do military relationships last? ›

While being part of a military couple definitely has its challenges, these marriages and spouses unquestionably also have their strengths. It may help to know that there is no clear evidence that the divorce rate is higher for these marriages.

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