Parents reveal why they charge their child rent: "We're preparing her" (2024)

When Erika and Cody Archie posted a video to TikTok explaining how they would be charging their 18-year-old daughter Kylee rent, the reaction was split. One commenter called it a "punishment." Another said: "I don't see anything wrong with it. It helps them learn responsibility." While a third added: "Hell no, that's their home."

The footage ended up going viral, receiving over 700,000 views. Despite the mixed response, Cody is sure they've made the right decision.

"This is our way of preparing her and making sure she knows that things aren't free," Cody told Newsweek. "Part of becoming an adult is knowing that you have to either pay rent or you'll have a house payment. Our hope is that by doing all this, we're preparing her for the world."

In the video, Cody was more blunt. "I've been telling Fred for the last couple of months. 200 bucks a month is plenty cheap to live like a grub in your parents' house," he said.

According to recent figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, 58 percent of 18 to 24-year-olds are living with their parents. While staying at home has benefits for young people—such as allowing them to pay off their debts or save for a housing deposit—having an extra person under their roof means higher costs for their parents.

A recent poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies for Newsweek asked 1,500 U.S. adults their thoughts on parents charging their adult children rent.

Around 57 percent said that a 20-something moving back home should pay for the privilege, even if their parents "do not need the money." In comparison, only 28 percent felt that adult children should live rent-free.

A study conducted by Lending Tree produced similar results. While 85 percent of parents surveyed said they'd let their adult children move home, 73 percent would charge them rent.

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Should You Charge Your Adult Child Rent?

Although 36 percent of Americans see young people living at home as bad for society, the benefits to these "boomerang" children are evident.

Often viewed as a sense of entitlement or laziness, living with their parents or another relative is allowing millennials and Gen Z to save money and pay off debt, rather than struggling to survive.

However, an adult child living at home can have a financial and emotional impact on their parents. More people sharing a home means higher expenses, so it's not unreasonable to expect an adult child to contribute.

Jessica Griffin—associate professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the University of Massachusetts' Chan Medical School—said an adult child moving home can create mixed emotions for parents.

While many relish the opportunity to reconnect with their children, it can be difficult to find a balance. With a large number of millennials and Gen Z moving home to save cash, the topic of paying rent can be dicey.

"Many parents worry that they may be indulging this lifestyle by allowing them to live rent-free," Griffin told Newsweek.

"It comes down to communication. If you don't agree, there inevitably will be conflict and resentment."

However, Griffin said charging your adult child rent can be good for your relationship long term. As well as alleviating any financial burdens caused by their homecoming, it sets healthy boundaries and stops your child from becoming too comfortable.

"It gives them the added incentive to leave the home and [have an] independent, autonomous lifestyle," she said.

To avoid arguments, Griffin also reminds parents to respect their adult child's lifestyle choices.

"If they are contributing to the household, it may no longer be appropriate to have a say in how they spend their time or resources," she said.

'It's Just to Open Her Eyes'

Cody, 42, and Erika, 41, are parents to Kylee, now 19, and 14-year-old Clancy.

After graduating last summer, Kylee was unsure if she wanted to go to college and decided to get a full-time job instead.

The couple charge Kylee $200 a month to help toward household bills and food. Although prices vary by state, rental costs are currently high across the country relevant to minimum wage earnings.

According to Statista, it costs an average of $1,152 a month to rent a one-bedroom apartment in the U.S.—$253 more than five years ago.

To rent an apartment in the Archies' hometown of Gatesville costs $634 a month. That may seem cheap, but the minimum wage in Texas is only $7.25 per hour—one of the lowest in the country.

"If she was living in her own place, [Kylee] would be making a much higher payment," Erika told Newsweek.

The couple blasted commenters accusing them of making their home an "unsafe space" for their daughter.

"It's just to open her eyes," Cody said. "It's a very minor portion of her income, we're not putting her in a bind."

Kylee doesn't have many expenses besides her rent, her car and gas money.The couple has helped Kylee put a monthly budget together, and said there is plenty of income left to save for her future.

'You Need to Have a Plan'

Some commentators suggested that Kylee will grow to resent her parents for charging her rent, but the couple disagrees.

"They don't understand our family dynamic or the way we've raised her," Erika said.

"We've talked about money and taught her to save for all of her life."

They both feel that Kylee is well-prepared to stand on her own, but see charging rent as a stepping stone to adulthood. Still, how did the teen react to their suggestion?

At first, she thought her parents were joking, but once they'd explained their plan to her, she agreed with the logic behind their decision.

Still, throughout her senior year, Cody jokingly reminded Kylee that she'd need to start paying rent a month after she graduated.

"We said 'you're not going to be floating around living off mom and dad's dollar,'" Cody said. "'You need to have a plan.'"

While living at home, Kylee is expected to contribute to the household chores, and in exchange her parents will cover her food and utilities.

"We've told her that if she doesn't want to do chores, that's fine, but her rent goes up," Cody said.

However, Kylee and her parents have negotiated boundaries now she's an adult. She still sleeps in her childhood bedroom and has her own bathroom, but Erika and Cody know that she will be making her own decisions and will no longer follow their household rules.

"As a parent, you have to be willing to let them fall before they walk," Cody said.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Correction 04/17/23 03:34 a.m. ET: This article was updated to change the spelling of "Kylie" to "Kylee." It was also amended to state that Kylee now owns her own car. The article previously stated that she did not own a car.

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