There is a difference.
I have struggled with verbal communication for as long as I can remember. It’s often frustrating to me because I am reasonably intelligent and I have all the words in my mind I want to say, but they too often get stuck — and then spill out of my mouth out of order, and usually with terrible timing.
I also have the ability to completely shut down in a confrontation or when triggered by a boundary being crossed. I can retreat deep inside of myself and leave behind new or longstanding relationships in an instant — never looking back.
No passing go. No collecting $200.
It’s like a steel door slams down — with me on one side and my emotions on the other — and if I’m not given the space to filter through my reaction — I have no ability (or desire) to reconnect, so I just walk away and never look back.
I recently read that this reaction is called “stonewalling” and is toxic — often attributed to a control tactic used by narcissists to punish and control people.
In fact, when I searched “stonewalling” all I found were articles attributing it to narcissism and toxic behavior.
