My Learnings: Happy Money (2024)

Indira Reddy

13 min read

Mar 23, 2020

There is no end in the money game, any day a drastic change could happen that changes things. Systems change, fail, succeed — no one really knows or controls it.
What we can control is how we feel about money.
Not long ago, we had to touch and feel money to feel secure about it. But now the money is in a bank, and it is just a number on a sheet because the bank has invested it elsewhere. We trust banks that when we need it, the money will be there.
Myth of Scarcity — we feel that if someone has something then we cannot have it, that money or time or possessions are somehow limited. That’s why we always feel things are not fair, when some people have more than we do.

Money primarily serves 3 functions:

1. to exchange

2. to save — to show for years or weeks of hard work

3. to grow — investing and growing

6 reasons people want Money:

1. to meet basic needs

2. for power

3. to get back at others

4. to buy freedom

5. to gain love and appreciation

6. to express love and appreciation

Do you feel blessed and energised when you think of the money in your life?

We project our feelings, experiences and energies onto money, generation after generation.
People have different kinds of worries about money based on how much they have. But everyone has worries. The rich worry about saving for the future. Middle class feels constantly stretched. Lower middle class feels cheated out of things they deserve. And for the poor, whose basic needs are a struggle, they feel they would rather have rich people problems.
Even though people say money can’t buy happiness, having it or not having it can make us happy or unhappy — we see it as a magic wand.
It is a way to help us be in the moment, be grateful, etc by easing discomfort
As humans, our purpose is to “be” — Zen approach is not what we do, but who we are
There is only a threshold of having more money that gives more happiness. Beyond that, it is the same. This may vary based on standard of living costs, but the principle is the same.
When you make and spend money, you do it with either love or fear.
Fear is fear of scarcity, fear of others getting more, of being taken advantage of. Fear is tied to survival and some of it is beneficial. In some homes the fear is stronger than others. Fear is effective but can also be destructive in the long run
The opposite of fear is love. Fear is to control, love is to accept unconditionally.
We trust and love that our parents never leave us. Same way, money should be the object of our love. It should make us feel Joy, gratitude, enthusiasm.
These people often say “I have enough” — they may not be rich, but they are comfortable and stress free
Their relationships are authentic, they look at the value of things rather than cost, they choose what they like, don’t need external validation, need fewer things. They let go rather than control

Thank you is a powerful feeling that can turn unhappy money into happy money.

Chapter 2

There is Money IQ (Intelligence Quotient), and also Money EQ (Emotional Quotient) — we need to have both, especially the EQ.

Money IQ:

Making money by doing what you love, sharing your gifts with others, not trying to compromise your values, spreading joy and receiving money as a token of gratitude from the world
Spending money on experiences that make you happy rather than material things
Protecting money by creating meaningful relationships and clear boundaries
Increasing money by finding a purpose from the heart and aiding that purpose with money

Money EQ:

Allowing yourself the freedom to receive money with happiness and abundance
Enjoying money in the present — not past, not future
Trusting in the flow of money that it will always come to you
Believing that life is to be shared with others — joy, money, services, gifts, talents. The more abundantly you give, the more will flow to you

What you appreciate, appreciates.

Let your soul inform your money and let your money express your soul. Access your assets in all its forms — including people.
Important to understand the situation you are in and how you got there — research how your present money situation came to be — your parents, grandparents live and stories. Researching your roots allows you to understand yourself

Three types of people:

actively engage with money
are indifferent to money
actively disengage or stay away from money

Active Engager — most common type: The hoarder, spender and moneymaking addict are all combinations of these subtypes:

The Compulsive Saver — views enjoying luxury as an enemy to avoid, compulsively saves, great at bargains and knowing the cheaper options — often comes from fears or bad memories
The Compulsive Spender — saving doesn’t occur as an option to them. They love giving gifts and enjoying life. They love spending money in order to feel in control, to escape suffocating and brighten their moods. Often a reaction in judgment to their upbringing
The Compulsive Money-maker — want to earn as much money as possible. Spend their energy on improving their ability to make money. Often driven by need for approval and recognition and for family

Combinations of these types form other types, including:

Saver-Splurger — Usually quite disciplined and then suddenly feel the urge to spend their money in a big way — on things they may regret later
The Gambler — Seek excitement and thrills — willing to take big risks. Are only happy with wins and regret the losses. Pleasure seeking
The Worrier — Always worried about money regardless of how much they have. They expect the future to be filled with problems, lack confidence and self-esteem. Fear about life is being projected onto money

Indifferent :Hardly even notice money — often service professionals like doctors or teachers. Minds and hearts are not tied up with money — often leave managing money to their spouses.

Active Disengager:They think money is a bad thing — source of problems and consumerism. Don’t want to “sell out”.

5 Negative Emotions keeping you from achieving happiness with money:

Anxiety — worries about change, about the unknown
Fear — we fear change because we equate it with loss
Doubt
Guilt
Self-neglect

When we live in a state of these emotions, we block the flow of positive energy to us. Many money mistakes are related to emotion.

Tips to Make Money:

There are many ways to be financially free — either by getting out of modern society, or by creating a cash flow that allows you to enjoy life. Here are some tips:

Don’t save money out of anxiety — you are feeding the anxiety emotions even more — the more you save the more anxious you will feel because anxiety is not tied to money. Instead save it imagining the fun things you will do, infuse it with love and appreciation
You will lose money before you attract money — failures and misfortune take you one step closer to earning more money
Likeable people attract money — those who enjoy what they do, who serve more, go the extra mile, and work hard to be appreciated by people
Pricing your services accordingly — how you value yourself

Arigato and Maro:

People assume more is better. Very few people say they have enough.
Arigato — thank you in Japanese. Maro — short form, meaning “true and sincere heart” — a state of selflessness, opposite of ego.
When you have a pure heart, you create win-win situations and embrace the universe’s support
When Maro goes up, you emit more positive energy, become more passionate and energized, have more doors opening, and express more gratitude for life.
It’s about feeling like you have enough. Most people want more but having more can actually become a burden.
Children of happy parents grow up more successful when parents spend more time with them. Wealthy parents who overwork trying to earn more money often spoil the kids. Time is more precious than money.

Money Blueprints:

People operate on a “money blueprint”— if one thing fails, they look for something else that’s similar rather than a new direction entirely. For example, investors continue to invest, employees look for other jobs, entrepreneurs look for other start up ideas.
Sometimes we have false beliefs even passed down from our family. So, we need to shift our thinking and change our money blueprint.
We each have containers for happiness, relationships, satisfaction, money etc. If we are burned out that means our container is stretched, if bored then we are not filling it enough. Recognise the size of your container.
More money will not bring you peace — with more income, you’ll have more expenses to keep up.
Successful people tend to think optimistically.

If you could choose your future, what would you want it to be?

Principles to achieve high money EQ:

Know that doubt is part of the game, don’t try to control it, see it as signs of developing new potential
See the positive side of worry — if you try to shut it out, you will also be shutting out other positive emotions like joy and wonder. Joy and fear come hand in hand, embrace them both
Believe in a vision, get help from a mentor or a friend, trust in life, spread hope to others, be in a state of awareness and gratitude
Always be ready to share with others — can help us get through negative emotions and doubts too
Be open to receiving love and support from others — when we are open to that, we can also learn to share unconditionally

Chapter 3

Our beliefs about money and scarcity start to form from the age of 6, overhearing our parents’ conversations, realising where we live, wanting more and then becoming slaves to money eventually. Our childhood traumas and fears do not escape us about shortage.
Look at your past, understand how money has controlled or brainwashed or put fear into you.

Emotions Connected with Money:

Money brings a lot of emotions sub-consciously. By choosing to bring it to the conscious level we can expand our life experiences

Anxiety and fear — that things will run out, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, being inadequate, unworthy.
Anger and Resentment — When we feel things are unfair, when we blame people
Sadness and sorrow — Disappointments when we think of childhood, when we can’t give enough to our loved ones, when we look at crimes and poverty and war
Hatred and desperation — If you have been taken advantage of by someone, you will start to feel hatred and look to harm others or oneself
Superiority and Inferiority — We don’t want to look or feel inferior to others, so we spend. Look at Warren Buffet — no need to prove anything to anyone
Guilt and shame — Wealthy people who have inherited money, who see others work so hard for so little, or shame for not having enough
Numbness — We try to block out our feelings towards money day to day, we suppress it whether negative or positive to act like we are not affected by it. Like when making a large purchase we prefer to be expressionless
Excitement and joy — Children feel this joy, but as adults we try not to show it. Though money is supposed to bring us joy
Appreciation and Love — buying meaningful gifts, alleviating other’s pain, feeling valued, feeling invested
Happiness — being happy means being in the present, without worrying about the past or the future, we have choices and abundance. Believing you have more than enough, and if you need more, it will come to you.

Beliefs that people have about Money:

Most people have an unhealthy relationship with money because they have earned it through suffering or misery.
When money feels harder to come by, it is harder to let go of.
People blame money, rather than their attitudes towards money

Common negative beliefs about money:

it is bad
it disappears fast
it hurts people
it is scary
it causes trouble
it invites jealousy

Positive beliefs:

it supports people
it makes people happy
helps realise dreams
helps bond people
warms people’s hearts

Our attitudes towards money are shaped in our past:

We learn from our families by absorbing in an unconscious way.
Understand and heal from childhood traumas.
Link yourself to your past, thank your ancestors
Your actions affect everyone around you and the ones who come in the future as well
When you feel connected and grateful, you will feel abundance
The energy we put out in the world in the form of our words, beliefs and attitudes, all come back to us

Chapter 4

Money is energy and in constant flow:

In a city or mall, you can feel energy around you of people buying and giving and selling.
You can “charge” your money with energy and intensity
Charge your money with gratitude and appreciation. When you consider something a joy, an honour, feel grateful or someone appreciates you, it becomes happy money
Busy doesn’t necessarily mean good business. Luxury stores have fewer customers but make more money than grocery stores.
Ebb and flow of money in life — money will keep coming and flowing, like a natural law.
Like the tides are controlled by moon gravity, the money flow is controlled by the economy
Flow is neutral — goes to good or bad people both.
Money is energy and humans are like magnets. Money magnets are those in the direct flow of money — it does not discriminate based on good or bad.
Money magnets love money, they desire for it, believe they deserve it, and find ways to get more of it. The more they make the more they stand to lose.
People who hate or fear money seem to repel it
Positive, caring, compassionate, passionate people attract more naturally

What happens to Flow of Money:

When money flows in, we think it will last forever and don’t think to invest it to grow more.
Stock — assets, savings, bonds, real estate. Flow — income, liquid. Easy to confuse the two — but flow is more unstable
Think of a Lake — lake keeps growing with numerous streams into it. These are your stocks.
But don’t become a pond — lot of stock but not much flow, stagnant.
Happiness comes from experiences, from being and doing things and participating in the flow. Without flow, life would be very boring.
Fast money comes to you and goes away quickly too. Slow money will make you rich.
People who earn money fast don’t have much experience or preparedness so they may lose it fast.
Money flows to where there is already energy — that’s why big cities prosper more

How to create a Happy Flow:

Go for the flow that gives you peace. Don’t get overwhelmed and take on too much to handle
You should feel no stress, time seems to fly by, your able to use your skills and talents.
Find the right flow. Find the right tribe — sense of belonging. Find more in less — get out of the cycle of wanting more and more.
Creating your flow means sharing your flow — people want to support those with passion, who work hard.
Trustworthy friends can help you.
Always say thank you to money.

Donate money
Give money to your friends
Send a gift to a friend
Give something extra always
Pay more than you are asked, now and then
Send a gift to your boss or clients
Rejoice when you receive money
Pray for happiness when you spend money
Buy from someone you like
Be grateful for everything

Chapter 5

The future holds unlimited possibilities. Now we have so many opportunities and advances in tech, our crisis is more of an existential one.
We lack understanding to fill gaps, so we feel our lives do not have meaning. We can transform our lives when we begin to trust.
What you pay attention to determines your reality.

Maybe one day money will become like salt — inexpensive and accessible — as more basic needs become free and abundant with a shared economy. We may live in a world free of fear of lack of money.

Mindsets towards the Future:

2 mindsets towards the future — pessimistic and optimistic. Fear vs Abundance. We will probably end up somewhere in the middle of those two scenarios.
You have the power to choose your flow of money and also affect the future generations of your money.
Say thank you when money comes in and goes out

What do we value — or what would someone else think we value based on our actions?

Intentional gratitude gets you closer to achieving your dreams than luck
Those who express gratitude take responsibility for their happiness. They like to respond to things, they enjoy the good times and get past the tough times.
Being grateful and being in the present creates the conditions for Happy Money.
Treat your children like adults and explain things to them to build maturity about money.
True acts of generosity really stick with us, because most people live with scarcity fears.
Relationships give more security than money. Invest in your relationships.

Only you can achieve true happiness for yourself.

We need to stop playing the money game, comparing our lives to others. Compare yourself today with yourself yesterday
You can feel like a winner when you do things you love
You can start over every day.
Create your own terms, not the conventional. Happiness can be quiet contentment
Take a risk when you feel you are being called to do so
So many gifts go unnoticed because of fear of trying, fear of failure.

5 steps to Happy Money:

Let go of scarcity mindset
Forgive and heal your money wounds
Discover your gifts and get in the flow of Happy Money
Trust life. Trust is the opposite of fear. Say arigato or thank you all the time
Make memories, experiences and relationships with your money!

Arigato!