Reasons to Not go to a Funeral
There are many reasons why you may choose not to go to a funeral service and various ways to express your reasoning for not attending. Here are some excusable explanations why you may choose to pay your respects without attending in person.
Health
Health issues that make it difficult to travel or put others at risk can be one reason why people choose to stay home, especially during a pandemic when news of super-spreader events like funerals have made headlines. Your health and wellness are top priorities, so if you feel uneasy or unsure about what effects attending someone’s funeral will have on you, simply express your condolences and reason to the deceased’s family. Even if you have the simple flu or a sprained ankle that can hinder your movement, any health issue is a cause for you to put your comfort and safety first.
Distance
If a wake or funeral is across the country, or even if it’s a few hours away and travel would be difficult, the trip itself can be a reason to not go to a funeral. If you have children, would need to take time off work, or if the cost of traveling to the funeral location is expensive; these are all valid causes to skip the trip. An out-of-state journey can add up quickly when you consider the cost of a flight (or gas), a rental car, accommodation, food, and a funeral gift. With recent changes in how funerals are conducted due to Covid-19, there may be an option to attend virtually, in which case, you should still be able to participate and pay your respect.
Finances
Whether it’s the cost of the travel or a gift for the family of the deceased, don’t feel pressured to spend money you don’t have. Funerals typically occur shortly after the time of death, and a sudden expense isn’t something everyone has budgeted for. If your whole family is considering attending and the trip and expenses are going to cost upwards of $500 or more, this can be simply unaffordable for some.
Complex Relationships
Family can often be composed of intricately woven relationships and not all positive ones. If you’ve had a tumultuous relationship with your parents or family members, it may be better to not attend. If you’re an ex-spouse or partner of the deceased and won’t be welcomed by their current family, that might also be a reason to not go to the funeral. Tense relations can make attending a funeral uncomfortable, but you can avoid any discomfort by saying goodbye on your own terms instead of attending the service.
