How to Ignore People You Don't Like: 14 Steps (2024)

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1Dealing with Social Situations

2Maintaining Good Manners

3Confronting Someone if Necessary

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Article Summary

Co-authored byJulia Lyubchenko, MS, MA

Last Updated: March 17, 2024Approved

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Ignoring people you don't like can be hard. At school, work, or in your friends circle, there may be someone you simply don't click with. You can ignore someone in a polite fashion, by simply keeping your distance and ignoring negative behaviors. You want to be polite even if you're ignoring someone. Being rude back will not help the situation. While ignoring someone can be effective, if that person's behavior is interfering with your ability to do your job at work or school, a confrontation may be necessary.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Dealing with Social Situations

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  1. 1

    Stay away from the person. Avoidance is sometimes the easiest way to ignore someone.[1] If someone is getting on your nerves, try to keep your distance as much as you can.[2]

    • You can avoid places they're likely to hang out. If an annoying co-worker always eats lunch at noon, try eating lunch outside of the office or taking a later lunch.
    • Avoid social situations where you're likely to see that person. If annoying person from school is going to be at party this weekend, try making other plans.
  2. 2

    Avoid eye contact. When you're in the same room with someone who annoys you, be aware of your eyes. If you accidentally glance at the person, this could result in eye contact. This can be misinterpreted as an invitation to come over and talk. When you're around the person, try not to look at them. This will help minimize interactions.

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  3. 3

    Communicate through others. If you work with someone, you sometimes have to communicate with them. It may be easiest to do it through others. You don't have to be rude about this. Do not, for example, say within the person's earshot something like, "Could you tell Jeff, who I'm not speaking to, to put his dirty dish in the sink?" You can, however, ask others to deliver information when necessary.

    • For example, you're working in a group for a work project. The annoying person is in your group. You may ask one of your group members to talk to the person, or you might only reach out to them via email or text message.
  4. 4

    Curtail your responses. You can't completely avoid talking to someone, especially if you see them at work or school. You don't want to give a complete silent treatment when someone's talking to you, so work on curtailing your responses. When someone talks, give curt responses like "Hmmm" and "Okay." This will hopefully send the message that you want some space.

  5. 5

    Tune out negative behavior. If someone is pessimistic or highly critical of things, try to ignore it. Ignoring it may help you stay positive without their negativity affecting you.

    • For example, if your office mate constantly complains about how much work they have, try ignoring them so that you don't feel bad about your own work.
    • You shouldn't ignore everything. If a co-worker always teases you to the point you feel uncomfortable around them, confront them. You can say, "Would you mind not joking about my outfit? I enjoy what I wear, but it makes me feel bad when others criticize how I dress."
  6. 6

    Find strengths in numbers, if necessary. If the annoying person is very aggressive towards you, adopt the buddy system. Try to have friends or co-workers accompany you places you're likely to see the person. Friends can, for example, walk with you between classes or eat lunch with you to keep the annoying person away.[3]

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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Maintaining Good Manners

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  1. 1

    Be formal with the person. There is no reason to be rude simply because you're ignoring someone. In fact, being rude will only escalate the situation. When you have to talk to the person, do so with formality.

    • Say things like, "Please," "Excuse me," and "Thank you." Show the person basic manners while maintaining a somewhat stiff demeanor. This will show the person you're not being hostile but you don't want a lot of interactions with them.
  2. 2

    Do not taunt the person. Ignoring someone should not be an aggressive act. Do not make faces at the person, roll your eyes when they talk, or blatantly pretend not to hear them when they address you. You are now being annoying in return, which is not a good way of dealing. Never taunt someone while you're ignoring them.[4]

  3. 3

    Acknowledge their presence when necessary. You cannot completely tune someone out, especially if you work with that person. When necessary, acknowledge their presence in a manner that's polite but not overtly friendly. For example, offer a brief wave or nod when you pass them in the hallway. Reply to their question of, "How are you?" with "I'm fine. Thanks."[5]

    • Whenever you speak to this person, keep your sentences short and to the point. This will prevent any awkward or uncomfortable chatter.
  4. 4

    Walk away when necessary. Sometimes, people may not take the hint. If someone continues to annoy you, even when you've tried to subtly indicate you don't want to talk to them, it's okay to make an excuse and walk away.[6]

    • For example, a co-worker is being very critical about an aspect of your personal life. Even though you're giving non-comital responses, they keep at it.
    • Say something like, "Okay, I appreciate the input, but I don't really need it and I have somewhere to be." Then, leave the situation.
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Part 3

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Confronting Someone if Necessary

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  1. 1

    Stand up for yourself in the moment. Sometimes, an annoying person may cross a line to the point you feel uncomfortable or threatened. In these scenarios, it's okay to stand up for yourself in the moment. Be assertive and address the situation.[7]

    • Calmly tell the person they crossed a line. Let them know you do not tolerate this type of behavior.
    • For example, "Don't talk to me like that. I don't need unsolicited advice."
  2. 2

    Document negative behaviors at work or school. If you feel uncomfortable because of an annoying person at work or school, document this. You want to make sure you have information to give to a higher authority if it comes to that.[8]

    • Each time the person gets on your case, briefly jot down what was said, who saw it, and the date and time.
    • If you ever need to raise a formal complaint, you'll have a lot of information from which to pull.
  3. 3

    Talk to the person about their behavior calmly. If someone is consistently annoying you, it's okay to calmly address the behavior. Wait until you can get a moment alone with the person and calmly and collectively explain what they are doing wrong.[9]

    • For example, "I know you don't mean anything by it, but I don't love getting teased about my outfits."
    • Let the person know how the behavior makes you feel. "It makes me feel uncomfortable at work, because people are always pointing out my looks now."
    • Lastly, tell the person where to go from here. For example, you can say, "I really don't want you to make comments like that anymore. Do you understand?"
    • Instead of criticizing the person, tell them what types of actions you won't tolerate. This will help prevent conflict. Instead of saying, "You're so annoying," you might say, "I really need quiet time to get my work done."
  4. 4

    Bring in an outside authority figure. If someone's behavior does not improve after a direct confrontation, call in a higher authority. If you're in school, let a teacher or principal know. If you're at work, talk to someone in the HR department. You have a right to feel comfortable at your place of work or your school.[10]

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Expert Q&A

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  • Question

    How do you show someone you're not scared of them?

    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor

    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

    Paul Chernyak, LPC

    Licensed Professional Counselor

    Expert Answer

    Remember that no one has the power to make you feel anything except yourself. Your best bet is to avoid taking things personally or being offended to while setting clear boundaries as to what you will tolerate and what you won't. That's being self-assertive without allowing them to get a reaction out of you.

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  • Question

    What should I do to ignore my siblings?

    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor

    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

    Paul Chernyak, LPC

    Licensed Professional Counselor

    Expert Answer

    See Also
    Right To Be

    You need to confront your sibling directly if they live with you about what they are specifically doing that makes you feel bad. If the behavior continues, get a third party such as your parents to help resolve the conflict.

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      Tips

      • Wearing headphones can signal to the other person that you don't want to talk.

        Thanks

        Helpful1Not Helpful0

      • If you’re in school trying to avoid eye contact, but they keep pushing your buttons, just do something else like doodling in journals or playing with your phone. Do not explode to them with anger, because they just want attention.

        Thanks

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      Tips from our Readers How to Ignore People You Don't Like: 14 Steps (24)

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

      • Unless you voluntarily want to improve strained relations, avoid airing your interpersonal conflicts with others, say teachers or managers. Well-intentioned authority figures sometimes force people clashing to "work it out", exacerbating tense situations. You risk unintentionally inviting more unwelcome contact through their involvement. Your priority is minimizing this person's effect on your daily routine, not resolving differences.
      • Keep an ongoing written account of any intimidating behaviors from a workplace bully, noting details like times, dates, and potential witnesses of incidents. If you ever need to report harassment to HR or management down the line, thorough documentation aids your case, and office policies can work in your favor. Don't let anyone ostracize you in what's supposed to be a professional environment.
      • If someone who used to be a friend starts bothering you, acting indifferent around them shows that you've clearly moved on. While you don't want to intentionally be cold, showing complete disinterest makes it clear you're done with them as a pal. It's an acceptable approach in certain strained relationship circ*mstances when subtle signals don't work.
      • Keep notes on a bully's harassment and notify a trusted grownup if things don't get better over the course of a few weeks. Teachers or school counselors can intervene if negative teasing and put-downs become continuous. You deserve support dealing with long-term intimidation issues at school or anywhere else.
      • Answering flatly when directly spoken to reduces chances of unwanted back-and-forth chatter. Saying just "okay" or "thanks" in response gets the message across that you prefer interactions to be kept short without coming off as blatantly impolite. This tactic avoids engaging in conversations you don't want.

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      About This Article

      How to Ignore People You Don't Like: 14 Steps (40)

      Co-authored by:

      Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA

      Licensed Counselor

      This article was co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is an Adult Counselor and a Hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Julia opened her practice in 2012, Therapy Under Hypnosis, specializing in resolving emotional and behavioral problems. She has a Certificate in Clinical Hypnosis from the Bosurgi Method School and is certified in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy. She earned an MA in Counseling Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from Alliant International University and an MSc in Developmental and Child Psychology from Moscow State University. This article has been viewed 420,764 times.

      14 votes - 84%

      Co-authors: 69

      Updated: March 17, 2024

      Views:420,764

      Categories: Relationships

      Article SummaryX

      To ignore people you don’t like, avoid places where they usually hang out so you can spend as little time as possible around them. If you have to be in the same space, avoid looking at them so they don’t come over or start a conversation with you. You can also hang around other people you like, so you don’t have to be alone with the person. If you can’t avoid speaking to them, be as polite as you would be with a stranger so they don’t have any reason to be mean to you. However, if they start treating you badly, don’t be afraid to walk away! For more tips from our co-author, including how to stand up for yourself if someone makes you uncomfortable, read on.

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      How to Ignore People You Don't Like: 14 Steps (2024)

      FAQs

      How to politely ignore someone you don't like? ›

      Keep your conversations short, but polite.

      Give brief, unemotional responses anytime you speak to them. Don't expand on anything you say, and don't ask them any questions either. Respond briefly and politely but show that you're not interested in furthering the conversation.

      How do you ignore things you don't like? ›

      Take a break from what's bothering you by re-focusing your energy on positive, relaxing, and/or enjoyable activities. People who can refocus on positive activities instead of dwelling on unwanted thoughts or stress tend to be less depressed. Some relaxing ways you can take a break include: Taking a bath.

      How do you ignore someone step by step? ›

      4 Ways to Ignore Someone Without Hurting Them
      1. Avoid direct eye contact.
      2. Please give them the cold shoulder when they try to communicate with you.
      3. Ignore them on all social media platforms and do not respond to their calls.
      4. Be persistent with your attitude to them to make them believe that it's your normal behaviour.

      How to ignore someone who is not interested in you? ›

      How to Ignore Someone Who Ignores You
      • 1 Walk away and give them some space.
      • 2 Distract yourself with new challenges.
      • 3 Spend time around supportive people.
      • 4 Focus on your own happiness.
      • 5 Acknowledge your feelings.
      • 6 Ask yourself if they're really ignoring you.
      • 7 Figure out the cause of their behavior.

      Why is ignoring so powerful? ›

      When you ignore someone, you are telling them that they and their feelings are not important to you; and to someone who loves you it makes them feel that they have done something to make you not care about them, or that you are angry with them. No one likes to think that they've hurt someone they care about.

      How do you politely reject someone you don't like? ›

      Be honest: Share your feelings gently but honestly. Let them know that you enjoyed spending time together, but ultimately want to go separate ways. This may sound like, “Unfortunately, I don't feel the connection I'm looking for but I wish you the best and hope you find what you're seeking!”

      How to avoid people you don't like? ›

      How to Avoid People You Don't Like in a Respectful Way
      1. Avoid working on the same team.
      2. Limit communication.
      3. Consider altering your schedule.
      4. Think about trying some new activities.
      5. Make new friends.
      6. Avoid talking to people you don't like.
      7. Dodge family members you don't get along with.

      How to ignore something that bothers you? ›

      Here are some examples of how you might change the channel in your brain:
      1. Call a friend and talk about a completely different subject.
      2. Challenge yourself to rearrange your bookcase in 10 minutes.
      3. Sit down and plan your next vacation.
      4. Spend a few minutes clearing clutter in a particular room.
      5. Turn on some music and dance.
      May 23, 2019

      What is the best way to ignore? ›

      Tips
      1. Try talking about it first because you could solve it by having a conversation. ...
      2. Try to avoid eye contact as much as possible, and if the person is getting really irritating, just pretend that someone else needs you, and go to them. ...
      3. Make sure that you have a good reason to ignore this person.

      How to ignore someone annoying you? ›

      One of the best ways to ignore someone is to simply not engage. Don't talk to the person or engage in any nonverbal way. You can start out by saying that you won't be talking to him or her and then commence with not talking to the person. Skip all types of communication.

      How do you start avoiding someone? ›

      Remain calm, polite, and as respectful as you can. Cut off all methods of communication. Block their phone number, do not respond to emails, and remove them from other means of reaching you. Avoid places that they frequent, and switch up your own routine to avoid running into them.

      How to tell if people don't like you? ›

      10 subtle signs someone doesn't like you
      • They distance themselves from you. ...
      • Their arms are always crossed around you. ...
      • There is a lack of eye contact. ...
      • Everything seems forced. ...
      • Their feet are pointed away from you. ...
      • Likewise, their torsos are pointed away from you.
      Jun 27, 2018

      How to act when someone ignores you? ›

      What to do when you feel ignored
      1. Take a step back and evaluate the situation. ...
      2. Stay calm and find ways to distract yourself so you don't fixate on being ignored.
      3. Ensure you're actually being ignored. ...
      4. Being ignored can hurt, but trying not to overreact can be important.
      Aug 26, 2024

      Is it okay to ignore someone you don't like? ›

      It's not only logical, it's normal to avoid those you dislike. I think it's bad to ignore anyone because of something as subjective as opinion. I dislike very rarely, but I don't allow my personal taste to stop me showing common courtesy to the person if I encounter them.

      How do you say you don't like being ignored? ›

      Let them know what the silent treatment felt like.

      You don't need to exaggerate or try to make them feel guilty, but you should be real with how upset you were about it. For example, “When I realized you were ignoring me, it made me feel awful. I felt like I was losing my best friend and I didn't even know why.”

      How do you ignore a guy you don't like? ›

      Don't make it too obvious. Immediately turning around and walking away the moment you see him shows that you notice his presence, and are affected by it. Instead, continue your work or conversation, then use an excuse to move away, such as talking to another person or throwing something in the trash.

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