How To Deal With A Toxic Family Member - Headspace (2024)

FAQs

How To Deal With A Toxic Family Member - Headspace? ›

Set clear boundaries and communicate them consistently

Establishing and maintaining boundaries is key to dealing with toxic family members. Clearly define what behaviors you won't tolerate and communicate these limits. Be assertive if you have to.

Set clear boundaries and communicate them consistently

Establishing and maintaining boundaries is key to dealing with toxic family members. Clearly define what behaviors you won't tolerate and communicate these limits. Be assertive if you have to.

Set Clear Boundaries

You might ask your family member to change their behavior, such as saying, “Please don't curse at me.” “This is not usually successful with toxic people because they're not motivated to change their behavior,” she says. Instead, the boundary helps remind you to protect yourself from their ways.

The Bible does not tell us to continue in relationships with people who have damaged us or are still damaging us, family or not. In fact, the Scriptures are full of teachings instructing us to leave relationships with wicked or evil people, to be separate from them, to shun, outcast, and purge them from our midst.

When considering whether to cut a family member off, it can be helpful to reflect on whether you have communicated your boundaries to the other person or what you cannot tolerate. If they have ignored, dismissed, or made fun of your boundaries, this may be a sign that further action is needed.

Family conflict can become toxic when members can't resolve differences or agree to disagree. Problematic behaviors include gossiping, withholding affection, favoritism, and ignoring boundaries. Therapists say limiting family time and building a strong support network can help you cope.

Send an email or a letter if you want to plan out your words. If you want to tell the person how you feel and you're afraid you'll have trouble expressing yourself in person, try writing out what you really want to say. Let them know that you plan on taking some time away from them.

How to handle family members who talk behind your back? ›

One solution is to talk to each person individually and let them know that you feel uncomfortable hearing about your family members in a negative way and that you would prefer they find a different outlet for their emotions.

One type of emotional abuse by a toxic family member is frequently being painfully critical of others. Inappropriate and harmful comments on topics ranging from appearance and relationship status to financial challenges are all signs of toxicity.

Call out the manipulation

Use respectful language and “I” statements to avoid sounding confrontational. This means expressing your own feelings and thoughts, rather than simply making accusations about the other person. Some examples of things to say include: “It's upsetting when something doesn't go as planned.

Don't engage: When a toxic family member is being abusive, it can be tempting to engage in an argument. However, this will only escalate the situation. Instead, try to remain calm and disengage from the conversation. Seek support: It can be helpful to have a support system when dealing with toxic family members.