How does the narcissist use money to control or shame you? (2024)

A narcissist is a dysfunctional person. for the narcissist, money is a great tool to control you and the narcissist is very well aware of that. Even if the narcissist didn't have much money; he or she will still use that little amount of money to try and dominate you and to control you even if it was just little. It starts with small things for example; let's have a joint account together or add me to your account. The narcissist will make it looks like it is normal in order to progress your relationship. but in reality, the narcissist is just baiting you in order to control you. It may seem normal to other people what the narcissist is doing however you need to understand that the narcissist is using normality to hide his or her true colours and to get what they want from you. There are many warning signs that you can look for when dealing with the narcissist or if you feel you are with a narcissist and he or she is using money as a tool to control your life for and those signs are:

• The narcissist will be very loving and generous especially at the beginning. he or she will be showering you with gifts stuff that you like and you will feel that he or she is overly interested in your life but refuse to talk much about theirs.
• If the narcissist is in a terrible financial situation he or she will not admit it but instead, the narcissist will use that and blame someone else for the unfortunate including you.
• This is an important one; the narcissist will Forbid you to have access to your own money or possessions so that you are 100% reliant on him or her for food, clothing, shelter, and any life necessities.
• The narcissist will use your name without permission to get financial resources if it is from work or taxes.
• The narcissist will fraud documents again to gain financial resources and will use children for that matter too.
• The narcissist will not respect that you have your own identity and will try and destroy your personal things or your relationships with your friends so that you would be lonely and no one would help you.
• The narcissist will demand expensive gifts or you would sign them for their own gain or even demand to get married for financial gains
• 8If you have children with the narcissist, he or she will refuse to pay child support or even spousal support because the narcissist feels it is not their problem and feel that the other person should not have money or take care of the child anyway. The narcissist may even say I am not the father of the child and even if you prove that he is the father he will come and say I do not have the money because of you. simply the narcissist does not love anyone apart from themselves and nor care for their children.
• The narcissist will pressure you to agree to terms and will use the court back and forth naively thinking he or she can control you.
• The narcissist will cancel without even telling you life, health, car or house insurance in order to leave you vulnerable and then claim that these expenses are unnecessary even though you have children with that person.
• The narcissist also will open bank accounts behind your back and won't give you access to it even though he or she made you share a bank account at the beginning which is completely contradicting.
• If the narcissist is in debt the debt will increase day by day and he or she will blame you for it even though you had nothing to do with it. If the narcissist had to file for bankruptcy they may pressure you to do so as well even if you didn't need it. Or the narcissist will get angry and try to ruin your credit score so you would be like him or her.
• The narcissist will use the child social security number or yours to claim additional income tax even if they do not pay child support and will falsify taxes to get greater reductions and will justify their behaviour by blaming you for it.
• if you have joint care the narcissist will use that to make you unable to go to work or even take the keys and leave with no care and forbid you from doing activities such as going to the gym or even studying or meeting your friends.
• the narcissist will harass you at work or at home. the narcissist likes to claim that they are in charge of your life and you have nothing and are unable to think for yourself. the narcissist may even claim that you have a mental illness in order to defame your reputation.

The list will go on and for the sake of today's episode, I am going to stop here. Remember you are not alone and knowing the signs of financial control will help you against the narcissist. unfortunately, there are plenty of narcissists out there in the world and you just have to educate yourself as I did. there are many ways you can protect yourself from the narcissist and if you are interested do not forget to check out my episode ' How to deal with the narcissist' I will leave a link below for your to check it out.

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