Hard vs Soft Rejection (and why the difference matters) (2024)

Getting a rejection letter is hard. Quite frankly, it’s one of the worst feelings a writer will go through in their career. That feeling of utter failure, the emotional kick to the stomach that your baby just isn’t good enough. The anguish and despair upon reading “Dear [[insert name here]], we regret to inform you…” Rejection letters are inevitable in this business and we, as authors, are expected to take that rejection letter and move on.

But… but what if… the rejection letter isn’t quite what it seems? In fact, what if the rejection letter is an invitation to resubmit said novel? The only problem is, nowhere in the letter does it say this. Wait, what? Where is the manual for this publishing business, and why is it wonkier than dating in high school? Why is the principal a werewolf? Who let a zombie teach history?!

Ahem

Sorry. I digress.

Hard vs Soft Rejection (and why the difference matters) (2024)

FAQs

What does a soft rejection mean? ›

Jason goes into the differences between soft rejections (meaning, fix what's wrong and send it again) and hard rejections. This is well-said and possibly the most succinct-yet-folksy way of describing the differences between the two.

What is hard rejection? ›

A “Hard Reject” typically means that your first project was rejected outright without the possibility of resubmission. There are various reasons why this might happen, such as: Violation of guidelines: Your project may have violated the platform's guidelines, terms of service, or content policy.

How to handle a soft rejection? ›

How to handle rejection from a friend
  1. Recognize and accept your emotions without judgment.
  2. Seek support by talking to other friends or family members about your feelings.
  3. Reflect on the circ*mstances of the rejection to understand it better.
  4. Remind yourself of your value beyond this single relationship.
Apr 11, 2024

How to respond to a graduate school rejection letter? ›

When applicants reach out after a rejection letter, they should be sure to approach it in a professional manner. Notes can be introduced with a thank you for reviewing the application, followed by a request for what can be done differently next time.

What does soft reject mean? ›

soft reject : temporarily delay message (this is used, for instance, to greylist or ratelimit messages)

How do you soft reject someone? ›

You could say “I'm not looking to date right now” or “I'm focusing on my work at the moment, and I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship,” if these things are true. If you're just not interested, you can simply say “I don't feel the connection.” Keep it simple: Remember, you don't owe them a detailed explanation.

Why is rejecting someone hard? ›

“Anybody with at least some level of healthy empathy will feel a little anxiety when rejecting others because it is hard to see someone else in pain,” Michelle says.

What makes rejection so hard? ›

Rejection sensitivity isn't caused by one single factor. Instead, there may be many factors at play. Some possible causes include childhood experiences like critical parents and bullying, along with biological factors and genetics.

What are the 5 levels of rejection? ›

The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other.

How does a rejected woman behave? ›

Rejection can spur a host of uncomfortable feelings, such as anger, anxiety, and deep sadness. Rejection can also trigger the pain response in our brain, meaning that we may experience physical pain when our feelings are hurt.

How to gracefully accept rejection? ›

Instead of thinking "I shouldn't feel this way," think about how normal it is to feel like you do, given your situation.
  1. Notice how intense your feelings are. ...
  2. So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. ...
  3. Think about what you're good at and what's good about you. ...
  4. Give yourself credit for trying.

Will a guy who rejected you come back? ›

If he has rejected a girl at first there has to be some reason behind it. If a girl changes herself for good and don't show any signs that she still loves him then it's always possible that the guy will approach her for sure after seeing her happy and enjoying the life.

How to gracefully respond to rejection? ›

Show some gratitude. Thank the employer for letting you know their decision and for their time and consideration. Demonstrate your genuine interest in the position. Express your disappointment, but keep it brief and maintain a positive tone.

How to respond to college rejection? ›

Believe it or not, it can, especially if you keep some of these tips in mind.
  1. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Don't beat yourself up for something that is out of your control. ...
  2. FIND WAYS TO COPE. Take stock of how you have grown personally. ...
  3. GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. ...
  4. TURN TO COLLEGES THAT ARE SAYING YES.

How do you deal with academic rejection? ›

Tips to Overcome Repeated Rejections (Jaremka et al., 2020):
  1. Give yourself enough time to process each rejection.
  2. Accept the rejection as an opportunity to improve your research, manuscript or grant.
  3. Plan the next step only when you are ready.
  4. Be persistent.

What are the four stages of rejection? ›

Here are the five phases of rejection.
  • Denial. Your first reaction to discovering someone is turning you down will be disbelief. ...
  • Anger. That's denial, and once you realize that your rejection isn't a misunderstanding, you'll move on to feeling angry. ...
  • Bargaining. ...
  • Depression. ...
  • Acceptance.
Dec 19, 2022

How do you soften rejection? ›

Here's what you can do when someone rejects you:
  1. Allow Yourself to Feel: It's okay to feel hurt, disappointed, or sad. ...
  2. Give Yourself Time: Healing takes time. ...
  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. ...
  4. Talk to Someone: Reach out to friends, family, or a trusted confidant.
Apr 30, 2024

Is waitlist a soft rejection? ›

No. Being waitlisted means you have met the requirements, but you will be admitted only if a spot in the incoming class becomes available for you. If a college has rejected your application for not meeting its requirements, you will not be added to their waitlist.

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