Awkward Silence? No Stress Conversation Starters - Buffalo Healthy Living Magazine (2024)

FAQs

How to start a conversation in awkward silence? ›

Start with "small talk" if you're not sure what to say. Keep a few simple questions that you can ask in almost any situation in the back of your mind like: Asking a new acquaintance, "So, where are you from?" "How do you know (your mutual friend)?", or "What do you do for fun?"

“The rule of awkward silence is simple: When faced with a challenging question, instead of answering, you pause and think deeply about how you want to answer. This is no short pause; rather, it involves taking several seconds (10, 20, or longer) to think things through before responding.

However, a mere four-seconds silence (in a six-minute video clip) suffices to disrupt the conversational flow and make one feel distressed, afraid, hurt, and rejected. These effects occur despite participants' unawareness of the short, single silence.

At a primal level, the uncertainty of silence feels like rejection, and the fear of rejection leads people to panic. This is why when you feel safe and comfortable around someone, silence doesn't trigger the same fear response — it's not awkward.

If a conversation has become awkward, consider doing something to lighten the mood. You can do this by telling a funny joke or story, poking fun at yourself, or finding the humor in your current situation. Keeping the mood light will help to break the ice and move the conversation forward.

Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. What it means depends on the context.

Silence is scary not just because it's unfamiliar, but also because it opens the door to a whole bunch of thoughts, sensations, and emotions that noise keeps at bay. As Steven puts it, silence can be like “getting locked in a room with your harshest critic.”

An awkward silence is an uncomfortable pause in a conversation or presentation. The unpleasant nature of such silences is associated with feelings of anxiety as the participants feel pressure to speak but are unsure of what to say next. In conversation, average pause length varies by language, culture and context.

“Silence gives both people a chance to just take a breath and think about what's been said and what might be coming. It gives you a break from that incredibly intense feeling of bearing your whole soul.” Importantly, she points out that just because people aren't talking doesn't mean they're not communicating.

Are awkward silences bad? ›

You might think they show the person you are talking with doesn't like you or that you have nothing in common. Silence need not be awkward, though, and can occur for several positive reasons. First, it can show the person you're with is comfortable in your company, and they don't see the need to talk constantly.

Perhaps it doesn't take much for this person to see, assume, feel, and act – or quickly go to silence. Perhaps they are coming into the conversation assuming it will go poorly and looking for any sign that they were right. Get ahead of that by stating your positive intentions and your respect for them up front.

Jumpstart a conversation by returning to a past event or topic. Mention hobbies, interests, or experiences you both share. People enjoy giving their input, so ask for her opinion. Share something funny or mildly embarrassing to keep things light.