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Without feeling like you “lost” the breakup
If you’re concerned about how your ex is doing; if you’re curious to know if they’re doing better than you or showing them how great you are without them; you’re not winning. In fact, you are giving away your power in the situation by allowing this person or connection dictate your behavior and emotions.
I know that’s hard to read, it’s even harder typing it. I recently had an encounter with an ex only moments before writing this and I realized, blocking someone is not a loss if it brings me peace. It does not mean you are weak, or that the other person won. Blocking a person can sometimes be necessary and healthy.
If you’re resonating with everything I’ve said thus far keep reading because listed below are seven reasons why you should block your ex.
- Emotional healing. As i stated, if you’re truly “winning” you won’t be worried about the next person. Blocking your ex or past person can ensure that you don’t see what they’ve been up to or who they may be speaking to. It’s also a reminder to you that you blocked them for a reason. You’re less likely to revert back to old patterns/ connections once you’ve blocked them.
- Moving forward. You blocked them for a reason. You broke up for a reason. In life a lot of times we feel like we have to hold on to people, places or things because we’ve known it for so long but truth is; you don’t. Everything comes to an end eventually. Blocking someone can help make that clear. You can be friendly with a person without being friends but if it’s too difficult to progress in life without thinking of them all the time; the block button may be your friend.
- Avoiding mixed signals. It’s very common for exes to still refer to one another as their pet names or even feel as though they are in a relationship. According to Dr. Bianchi via The Insider “In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, we’re going to experience these abrupt chemical changes almost as we would a type of withdrawal — complete with ‘cravings’ to be reunited with our exes.” This means that a breakup can be literally painful and due to the attachment feeling almost addictive, you want to avoid pouring more salt into your wounds.
- Established boundaries. Sometimes people take an unfollow or block as someone having an issue. Sometimes, the only issue is the person is unable to detach without completely cutting ties. It can hurt to be on the receiving end of this and sometimes it can hurt to block people; but only you know what you can handle and you have to decide if you’re able to respect your own boundaries or is blocking them your best option.
- Breaking toxic cycles. Blocking isn’t always an indicator of a toxic dynamic as much as it’s just for people to give themselves space to grieve but I must say this. If your ex has a pattern of being manipulative, dishonest, unfaithful, abusive or any other harmful behaviors; you do not have to stay present in their life to prove you are over it. I suggest cutting ties completely. You may want to receive closure (which i will touch on later this article) but the only closure you need is knowing that they are not good for you. This doesn’t mean people are not capable of growth and change; but you had your time and you are not obligated to give them chances. Do yourself a favor and block them for your own mental and emotional health.
- Preserving new relationships. It can be hurtful to your new love interest if you still have involvement with your ex. Ask anyone who is in a blended family and dealing with “baby mama/baby daddy” drama. It’s not to say people can’t be mature and make things work, but deep down that feeling of the ex always being there can/will linger. If you’re not legally tied to your ex; it’s best to let them go. Besides, you guys have your chance and it didn’t work out. Clear out that space to allow in new connections that better serve you.
- Closure. It ain’t over ‘til its over. Sometimes it takes deleting the photos, unfriending on facebook, returning items, maybe cutting back on the coffee spot you two use to love and in some cases; blocking. After a breakup sometimes you won’t always receive the closure you’re looking for. Blocking someone ends the story and gives you what you need. The awareness that the relationship has ended and it’s time to move forward.
I’m not by any means saying that this is an easy process. Some people (myself included) may even go back and forth with themselves a few times before putting their foot down. The goal here is not to be hurtful or play games. The goal is to accept what’s happened and move forward in a positive direction. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely possible. Life will go on and you will feel good again. It starts from the first step.
Did any of these resonate with you? Are you looking at your block list as we speak?
Let me know in the comments & I hope you find your joy again.
Source of direct quote from Dr. Bianchi is listed above and will direct you from medium.com to insider.com
