5 Strategies for Managing your Emotions Using Emotional Regulation (2024)

The past year has sent us reeling through a vast range of emotions: worry, stress, boredom, as well as hope, empathy and optimism. According to the second wave of our studyconductedwithresearchers fromtheUniversity of British Columbia,almosthalf ofpeople(48%)inCanadareported feeling worried and anxious during the second wave of the pandemic, while only17%felt optimistic.

Given thepandemic, it isnormalto feela wide range ofemotions,and whenfacedwith unpleasant, or so-called “negative,” emotions,manyof ususestrategies tocalmthem.Thankfully,you canlearn toregulate your emotionstomakethem easier toexperience.

What does emotional regulation mean?

It’s basically a science-y way of saying “dealing with your feelings.” Emotional regulation refers to “the processes by which we influence which emotions we have, when we have them, and how we experience and express them” (Gross, 1998b). In other words, you can develop your ability to regain control of your emotions without them overwhelming you, to better respond to and express them.

But it’s important to note that regulating emotions doesn’t mean making them go away running from them, or pushing them down. It is rather about seeing them as allies to help you figure out why you feel the way you do. You can take a step back, acknowledge them, think about them and reflect on why you are feeling this way. Because when you name what’s wrong, you can tame what’s wrong.

Here are five strategies to develop your ability to regulate your emotions from psychologist and researcher James Gross of Stanford University.

1. Situation selection

Situation selection simply means choosing situations most likely to generate pleasant emotions. It means knowing which situations lead to undesirable emotions and choosing to avoid them.

Forexample, youcanchoose a longer routehome from workto avoid traffic, and therefore the frustration it might cause.

2. Situation modification

This strategy can be used whenyouare already in asituationthat islikely to makeyoufeel an undesirable emotion.You use it to change or improve the emotionalimpactof thesituation.

For example, when aconversationgets heated, youcanstop the debatefromdegenerating and agreetodisagree.

3. Attentional deployment

Attentionaldeployment,or diverting your attention,literallymeanschanging your mind.Itinvolvesdirecting or focusing yourattentionon differentaspectsof asituationor on something completelyunrelated.

For example,sayyou are afraid of needles, butin ordertogetyour vaccine, youchoose not tothink about it andyouconcentrate yourattentionon a happy memory.

4. Cognitive reappraisal

Cognitivereappraisal means changing yourperceptionof asituation.It means thinkingaboutthings differently to change the wayyoufeel.Thismay be by focusing on the bright side.

Forexample, youhave just lost your job,and youchoose tosee this as an opportunity to do something new andexplorenewpassions.

5. Response modulation

Responsemodulationoccurs once you have felt the emotion. Rather than letting the emotionoverwhelm and dominate you, you decide to change how you reacttoor express it. This reducesor increasesthe emotionalimpact.

Forexample, your colleague made a mistake thataffectsyourproject,which makes you angry in the moment, but you decide not to expressyour angertoavoidamplifyingtheemotionor creatingdiscord.

Don’t forget thateveryemotion, even the most painful ones, deserves to beacknowledgedwith compassion, without dramatizingitor feeling guilty.Feeling emotions,whether pleasant or not, is partand parcelof goodmentalhealth.

***If your emotionsare overwhelming, persistent or interfere with your daily activities, it is important to seek mental healthsupport.***

Sources:

https://www.aide.ulaval.ca/psychologie/textes-et-outils/developpement-personnel/comprendre-et-reguler-ses-emotions/

https://www.psychologies.com/Travail/Relations-professionnelles/Vie-de-bureau/Articles-et-Dossiers/Mieux-vivre-avec-vos-emotions-au-travail/Travail-apprendre-a-ecouter-ses-emotions

https://www.cairn.info/revue-bulletin-de-psychologie-2011-5-page-471.htm

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1162908808000327

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1017/S0048577201393198