You broke up, but is it really over? Here are the signs your ex has moved on – or not. Once you figure it out, you should move on too.
Just because you broke up, it doesn’t mean things are over. You can dwell on the pain and even pine for your ex for months after a breakup. But, if you recognize the signs your ex has moved on, you might be able to move on quicker yourself.
Knowing your ex isn’t holding out for you can give you the motivation to move forward and let go. If you’re unsure about their feelings, it can hold you back.
Of course, you can’t text your ex to ask if they’ve moved on without seeming desperate or needy. So, instead, learn to spot the signs your ex has moved on. Then move on yourself.
How to spot the signs your ex has moved on
Without straight out asking your ex if they want you back or if they’ve moved on, it is actually pretty easy to figure out if they have or not. All you need is a good eye and some social media sleuthing skills.
By using every tool at your disposal, you can spot the signs your ex has moved on quickly and without too much work. You can look to social media to determine your ex’s current standing. Just a simple scroll through their feed will help you deduce whether they are still hanging onto your relationship or not.
Alongside social media, mutual friends are a great information source. Now, you don’t want to force your friends to choose sides, but by simply asking how they’re doing, you can learn a lot. [Read: How to stalk on social media and find just what you are looking for]
Also, look at your interactions with them to figure out if your ex has moved on. How do they speak to you? What is it like if you run into them, or go to get your sweatshirt back from their place?
Keep your eyes open and be alert to any signs your ex has moved on.
The subtle yet very apparent signs your ex has moved on
Now that you know where to look for the signs your ex has moved on, you can learn what those signs actually are. [Read: The subtle signs your ex misses you after you break up]
Some are pretty obvious. Others can be subtle and harder to analyze, so pay attention. In no time at all, you can know for sure whether or not your ex has moved on.
1. Things were off before the breakup
Breakups are not always mutual, and if your ex broke up with you after a few weeks or even months of weirdness, chances are they were over you before the actual breakup.
This is a major sign your ex has moved on. Relationships last longer than they should because people can’t actually do the dumping until they are completely fed up with their situation.
If things felt off before they became your ex, their feelings are way off now. [Read: Should I break up with my girlfriend? When, why and 43 signs it’s time – plus how to do it right]
2. They have not contacted you
After breaking up, your ex has not attempted to contact you, and it is always you who tries to contact them. They may not want to discuss anything with you, or have found no reason to look back or resolve anything.
Furthermore, they may have even changed their number, or are simply not available to talk. Even your voicemail offering to stay friends went unanswered.
Bottom line is, if they wanted to reconcile, they would have sought you out. So this is one of the major signs that your ex has moved on. [Read:Should you have no contact with your ex?]
3. They don’t reply to your messages
Now, if your ex goes beyond not reaching out into actively avoiding your messages, they are most definitely over you. An ex with feelings will always reply to you.
But, if you reach out to see how they are, even as a friend, and they don’t answer, it is totally over for them. [Read:The no contact rule – What it is, why it works, and how to use it well]
4. They are off social media
If your ex is quiet on social media, it’s probably because they are happy. When you’re enjoying life, you are in the moment, not online. If you haven’t seen any activity from your ex online, they aren’t wallowing in sadness; they are happy and over it.
5. They deleted your couple photos
One day, you open your social media account, and they don’t show up in your feed anymore. You can’t cyber-stalk them and see where they’ve been hanging out since you broke up.
Your ex has removed you from all of their social networking sites.[Read:Psychology behind deleting photos of an ex – What it says about you]
In addition to changing their relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single,” they have completely blocked you from all their social media accounts — a clear sign that they are erasing you from their life.
They want zero reminders. They may even want to start dating others, and don’t want potential partners seeing all your cute pictures.
6. They cut all ties and block you
It is hard to cut out all forms of communication with someone these days. If your ex unfriends you, blocks you and even removes themselves from mutual groups, they are definitely over you. [Read:How to stop obsessing over your ex and feel your mind for something new]
Sure, they may just want to remove all temptation – but if they aren’t fully over you yet, this will do the trick.
7. They are cold
We don’t mean temperature-wise, but in behavior. If you interact with your ex after the breakup and they are polite, yet emotionless… they have moved on.
When an ex has moved on, they won’t reminisce or be bitter. They will treat you like a colleague – polite yet distant. This is definitely a huge sign that your ex has moved on. [Read:30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]
8. They act like they don’t care
A telltale sign someone hasn’t moved on is trying too hard to make it seem like they have. If your ex doesn’t care about what you see them doing, or if they are living it up, they’ve moved on.
9. Your ex has returned all your stuff
The only time they ever contacted you was right after you broke up: they asked to have the keys to their place back.
They also asked to have their shirts, their jackets, their favorite pillow and blanket, their autographed baseball hat, and even the jewelry they gave you returned. Not only are they over you, but they want nothing to do with you.
10. Your ex has told you to move on
Whether you were the one to end things or your ex was, there could be times you tried to contact them to ask to get back together. Each time, however, they have told you that they have moved on and you should, too.[Read:How to help your ex move on and help you both find peace]
You’re about to tell them that you will change to make things better, but they cut you off. “It’s not me, its you,” they say.
This puts an end to any hope for reconciliation because they are denying you any opportunity to try and repair the damage done to the relationship. By implying that they themselves are the problem, they are telling you to stay back and stay away.
11. Your ex has forgotten your name or your number
A friend tells you how they bumped into your ex and asked about you, but your ex’s reaction was complete confusion. It’s like they’ve forgotten all about you.[Read:8 reasons getting back with your ex is self-sabotage]
That may be an extreme example but forgetting about you is a clear indication that they have already moved on. You may have even tried to call or text them, only to receive a brutal answer: “Who is this?”
12. Your ex does not show any signs of regret or loneliness
While they may not have deleted you off their friends list, you may find yourself utterly tortured by the sight of them having the time of their life. They are going out with friends, traveling, meeting new people, and even doing things that they didn’t do while you were together.
Seeing picture after picture of their happily grinning face may be too much proof that they have moved on. So, if they don’t block you from their social network account, seeing what you think is their insufferably blissful face might compel you to do it yourself. This seems like a kind of obvious sign that your ex has moved on. [Read:Are you jealous of your ex?]
13. Your ex is fine if you’re around
You visit the place you used to frequent together, and out of the blue, they pop up next to you. They greet you with a casual, “Hi, how are you?”
Your mind races to answer that you’re miserable and you miss them, and you want to get back with them, but all you can manage to reply is, “I’m fine.”
Deep inside, though, you’re not. But the same can’t be said of your ex; they are clearly thriving and happy and are genuinely over you. They have no hard feelings about your breakup, and they are clearly comfortable around you.
14. Your ex is fine even if you’re not around
Your ex is loving life and doing great at their job. This means they are happy and don’t need you anymore, because they can enjoy life without having you around.
They are creating new experiences for themselves, learning new things, going to new places, or even taking up a hobby they never got to try while you were together. Clearly, they have left you behind for good.
15. Your ex has started dating other people
Another clear *not to mention painful* indication that your ex has moved on is that they have started seeing other people.
For example, you see them going into the fancy restaurant you always wanted to go to when you were dating. Yet this time, they have another person beside them. They look happy and in love. [Read:The sure-fire ways to deal with an ex seeing someone new]
If they have started dating other people, it is clear they have moved on. You may ask mutual friends about them, and they tell you about their dating habits and current flames.
If they are clearly happy with someone they’re dating, that’s a sure-fire sign that you are out of the picture – and there is no going back. [Read: 23 subtle signs to know if your ex still loves you even if they act like they don’t care]
16. They try to set you up with someone else
Okay, now if this isn’t one of the biggest signs that your ex has moved on, then what is? If they are trying to get you to go out with someone else, andtheyare the ones who are doing the matchmaking, then you know there is no going back.
They want you to move on so badly that they set you up with other people.[Read:7 resolute ways to resist the urge to call your ex]
17. They ask for their stuff back
When you are dating someone, it’s natural for people to leave some of their belongings at their partner’s place.
Whether it’s their favorite t-shirt, their bottle opener, or coffee maker, they now want their stuff back. They don’t ever see themselves going back to your place, so they need it back in their house now.
18. It doesn’t bother them if you are dating
If you casually bump into them and tell them you are seeing someone, they act genuinely happy for you. You can see on their face that they are thrilled.
It doesn’t bother them because they don’t want you back. They secretly hope that you are over them too and are truly moving on.
19. Their friends stop talking to you
If you aren’t taking the breakup well, then they might tell their friends to back away from you too. This is especially true if you have been bugging their friends to see how they are doing or how to get them back.
Their friends might even be annoyed with you, so their only solution is to just stop talking to you. [Read:Letting go of your ex – The best ways to make it easier]
20. They don’t flaunt their new relationship
If they have truly moved on and into a new relationship, they have no desire to rub it in your face. If they still had feelings for you, then maybe they would try to parade their new partner around so you could see.
But they don’t even care. In fact, they want you to move on, and so they think that if they keep their new relationship status to themselves, then you will do just that.
Are you sure your ex moved on quickly?
Now you know the signs that your ex has moved on. But when you go through a breakup, your mind goes over everything. Where did things go wrong? You were so happy. What happened? Are they thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them?
When you are going through a loss like that, you can overanalyze everything. Maybe you think your ex has moved on because they aren’t reaching out to you or responding to your texts.
But everyone deals with a breakup differently. You may want to talk to them and get closure, while they need to shut down communication and have space to move on.
Maybe they posted a photo on Instagram out at a bar, so you assume they are doing okay. In reality, their friends may have had to drag them there. You may have even heard through the grapevine that they hooked up with someone.
But are you really just overthinking things? A lot of people have been there. [Read:Is my ex thinking about me? The guide to pick all the right signs]
You’re crying in bed and watching a sappy movieand pigging out on ice cream while scrolling through your feed only to see your ex out with people you don’t recognize. It can feel like a slap in the face.
You assume they just let go of your relationship and bury yourself deeper in mourning. [Read:30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]
The thing is you are letting your feelings blur reality. Just because you hear a rumor or see a photo doesn’t mean you know what is actually going on.
Having a rebound relationship, going out drinking, or blocking you from their phone may be their way of dealing with the breakup while yours is overthinking and wallowing in bed.
Unless you know for certain that your ex moved on quickly, there is no need to fret over it. This is your time to move on without dealing with what they’re doing. [Read: 25 signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking about you]
How long does it take to move on?
This is a difficult question to answer because everyone is different. Some people have already “moved on” before they even break up. Yet for others, it takes months or even years to move on. Some people never do, and pine away for that person for the rest of their lives.
A few things help determine how long it takes to move on. First, were you broken up with by your ex, or did you do the breaking up? Or maybe it was mutual. If you were broken up with – and especially if it was unexpected – then that is the most difficult scenario to get over.
However, if you broke up with your ex, or if it was mutual, then it will take a shorter amount of time to get over it. Just because you wanted to break up doesn’t mean it’s easy to move on. It’s still a loss, so you need to grieve. [Read: How long does it take to get over a breakup? 3 months and more timeline]
As a general rule, however long you were together, it might take that long to get over it. For example, if you were together for two years, then it might take two years to fully be able to move on.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t date other people. It just means that it always takes some time to get over relationships, especially when they are long-term.
Signs your ex is pretending to be over you – but is still hung up on you
If you have noticed these signs that your ex has moved on, it is time for you to move on too. But if these signs don’t seem familiar, you may want to look for other signs that your ex is still hung up on you.
From there, you can decide whether to make it clear to them that you have moved on, or maybe rekindle an old flame. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 23 signs your ex is clearly not over you yet]
1. They like your social media posts
An ex who hasn’t totally shut the door on you will keep their foot in the door. They may not reach out in a straightforward manner, but they will keep up with you online. There is a sense of attendance in your life.
2. They want to keep in touch
Sure, some exes can stay friends, but usually not right away. If your ex never took a step back and always wanted to talk daily, it is probably because they are still hung up on you.
Someone who has moved on wouldn’t need constant communication. This is definitely not one of the signs your ex has moved on. [Read:15 reasons why your ex still texts you and stays in touch]
3. They bring up the good old days
Have you ever bumped into an ex? If you have, then you know that it is awkward. But you probably still interact with some small talk and part ways. If your ex talks about memories or makes plans, they are not over you.
4. They go where you are
An ex that is still hung up on you will try to show up where you might be. They may go to your favorite restaurants or even hang around your neighborhood hoping to run into you.
Yes, this is near-stalker behavior. It is definitely something you should shut down if possible. [Read:Is it possible to remain friends after a breakup?]
5. They keep up with your dating life
An ex that has moved on doesn’t care if you have moved on. But an ex that still has feelings will want to know if you’re seeing someone new. They may ask you about your relationship status or try to get that information from your friends.
6. The immediately rebound with someone else
As the saying goes, “if you fall off a horse, just get right back up in the saddle.” In other words, in order to make themselves feel better about your breakup, they decide to find someone else to help heal their wounds. So, if they immediately rebound, that’s probably what they’re trying to do.
7. They post an excessive amount of party pictures with the opposite sex
If they are pretending to be having fun and that they are over you, then you might find that they post a lot of photos on social media that make it look like the opposite sex is interested in them.
And by that, we mean groups of them. They are the “life of the party” and the hottest thing around – *at least that’s what they want you to think*. [Read: Should you text your ex happy birthday? 20 yes-or-no signs and 35 text ideas]
8. The repeatedly block and unblock you
If they aren’t over you, they will vacillate between desperately wanting to talk to you and not wanting to. Talking to you makes them feel better and worse all at the same time. But not talking to you makes them feel the same. So, they can’t make up their mind which is worse.
9. They drunk-dial you
Oh, those dreaded drunk-dials! We all know what that’s all about. When people drink, their true selves and feelings come out. They aren’t as able to suppress their emotions or monitor their actions as when they’re sober. So, if they drunk-dial you, then they’re not over you.
10. They contact your friends, and their friends contact you
They might think it’s a bad idea to contact you, but they might feel like it’s okay to contact your friends. The reason they do this is to see how you’re feeling and if you’re still in love with them. They also might have their friends contact you for the same reason. [Read: 7 Reasons why staying friends with your ex doesn’t work]
How to deal with your ex being over you
So, now you know the signs that your ex moved on. Sometimes, having to face that is almost like going through the breakup all over again.
Yes, it’s a horrible feeling, but there are ways to handle it that are actually healthy, productive, and don’t make you want to dive into an Instagram stalking hole.
1. Stay off social media
The worst thing you can do when an ex moved on quickly is to follow their adventures. Whether it is their Instagram, or a mutual friend’s post where your ex is in the background talking to some blurry thing *and you can’t tell if it’s a hot person or barstool*, just look away. [Read:These heart healing tricks will soothe you after a breakup]
It takes a lot of willpower to control the urge to spy on your ex. But there is nothing about this that will benefit you. You don’t need them to feel miserable for you to be better. You don’t need to know what they’re up to.
The healthiest thing you can do is block or mute their online presence and even their phone number if necessary.
2. Realize everyone moves on at different paces
You now know the signs that your ex has moved on, but just like everything in life, there isn’t a clear-cut timeline for how long it takes. Not everyone has kids by 30 or is married by 25.
Not everyone finishes college in four years or even goes to college. Why would a breakup be any different? [Read: 16 lessons to recover from a breakup one day at a time and move ahead]
Some people can hide their emotions while others are more expressive. And some people can keep things in the past while others have regrets. You do not need to get over your breakup at the same pace as your ex did.
3. Know it has nothing to do with you
Just because your ex moved on quickly doesn’t mean they didn’t have feelings for you. It doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy your relationship. It doesn’t mean they picked this new person over you.
When someone moves on from a relationship quickly, it is about their process, not about you. Seeing your recent ex with someone new can feel like a punch to the gut. It can be embarrassing and lonely, but it really has nothing to do with you. [Read: Why your now-ex chose someone else over you]
4. Stop comparing
Moving on from a relationship is not a competition. The person who moves on first isn’t the winner. There is no right or wrong way to move on.
Yes, maybe they moved on quickly, and you feel like you’re trailing behind struggling to get out of bed or delete your joint profile picture. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or wrong.
5. Don’t hate on the person they’re with
One thing we do when we see our ex move on quickly is attack the person they are with now. We don’t mean physically attack, of course. We mock them with our friends. We judge them. And we send negative vibes to their new relationship. [Read:The 10 stages of a breakup and how to get through each of them]
Not only is that an ugly thing to do, but it is also unfair and only adds to your negative feelings. This person is innocent. They didn’t hurt you or steal your ex or take your last piece of gum. They are just entering a new relationship with someone that has a past with you.
You don’t need to pray that they’re happy and their relationship thrives, but sending them bad thoughts is only going to bring you down.
6. You have control over how you react
Life isn’t about how you act but how you react. You have control over what you do. If you see your ex moved on quickly and is in a new relationship, you don’t need to get wasted and drunk-text them how much you miss them and how their new partner is ugly or fake. [Read:Still thinking of your ex or miss them often? Read this!]
Don’t lash out. It isn’t healthy or productive. It won’t help you move on or prevent them from moving on. All it does is set you back. Faking it is just as bad.
You don’t need to go out and post hot photos of yourself to make your ex think you are over them. It is petty and unnecessary. Focusing on moving on and not worrying about what they think will help you handle the whole situation more maturely.
7. It’s okay to not be okay
There is no rush for you to move on. Of course, seeing that your ex moved on quickly can put pressure on you to catch up, but it is perfectly alright to be upset. You can mourn and face this loss. You can struggle and be sad. It is okay to cry and vent to friends and miss them.
As long as you don’t let those feelings invade your life or control your actions, take as much time as you need to move on. [Read: 58 life-changing secrets to get over a breakup and heal your heart]
8. Enjoy your time being single
Look at the positive aspects of being single. Think about all the things you have time for. Think about what you no longer have to deal with.
Being single isn’t a punishment or something to dread. It is something to celebrate and make the most of.
9. Have a friend call you out
Venting to a friend about your breakup and the fact that your ex moved on quickly is healthy. But don’t let it take over your friendship. Ask a friend you trust to call you out when you are getting away from yourself. [Read:How to make it easier to let go of your ex]
You might have caught your friends and even yourself just repeating yourself about an ex. When you’re with a friend, enjoy your time – don’t just complain about your ex taking their new boo on vacation.
Overdoing the venting will only make your ex occupy your mind even more, and prevent you from moving forward.
10. Focus on moving on yourself
Instead of worrying about what your ex is doing and how happy they seem, consider your future. You won’t be upset and sad and lonely forever. This time is only temporary.
If you focus on putting yourself back out there, even in a subtle way, you can move on too. [Read:12 reasons why the no-contact rule works every single time]
Final thoughts
Relationships, no matter how great and seemingly long-lasting, sometimes do end. That’s the reality. It is painful and heartbreaking.
You may be overcome with a mix of emotions: confusion, hurt, anger, embarrassment, shame, and loneliness. However, always remember that things happen for a reason, and there is no use looking back – you’ll only lose sight of the things that are ahead of you.
[Read: Still attached to your ex? 26 signs, why it happens, and how to break free]
So, have you seen the signs your ex has moved on? Or is your ex is still hoping to win you back? The key to happiness is not to dwell on the past, but to be strong enough to make the most of your life and keep moving forward.
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