Whenever you connect with someone new, a big part of this new relationship is the talking stage. It’s the stage in which you can share the most about your lives.
At this point in your situationship, you will often be on the lookout for green flags. These are signs that indicate there’s potential for a real relationship.
However, you should also be on the lookout for red flags! Red flags will tell you whether this person is worth your time and whether or not you need to end your talking stage.
But how does one evaluate if they're dealing with a red flag? After all, everything looks red if you're wearing heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses.
Well, that's what this article is for. We've compiled all the MASSIVE red flags that you should watch out for, and how you can deal with them once you spot them.
After you're done reading, you'll be saying goodbye to that person in no time.
Are Red Flags Common in Talking Stages?
Yes. Most of us likely have some red flags, but not every red flag is the same. Some can be deal-breakers while others might be just a mild nuisance.
And, if the green flags outweigh the red ones, you can brush off those bad signs.
What Are the Red Flags to Look Out For in a Talking Stage?
The talking stage can last a couple of weeks and sometimes even several months. During this period, you will need to be on the lookout for the following red flags:
1. You’re Getting Mixed Feelings
While in the talking stage, expect anything. You’re still in the process of getting to know this person.
However, if you’re constantly getting mixed feelings, or rather, a lot of inconsistencies from their side. For example, one day they’re constantly texting you, asking you questions, etc. and the next day they won’t even read your message.
This is a red flag because it could be a sign of disinterest.
By using our chat assistant feature, you'll be able to express your feelings more effectively. This ensures that the person you're talking to knows you're being genuine with your words!
2. Talk About Their Ex A Lot
We’re all very familiar with this one and we know that talking about previous relationships in the talking stage is a big no-no.
If the person you’re texting is often mentioning their ex. This red flag shows they’re not over their last relationship, so you should probably move away from this situation.
3. Has No Interest In Your Hobbies
The whole point of the talking stage is for both of you to share experiences, life stories, opinions, and hobbies.
If they seem disinterested or straight up think your interests or hobbies are “dumb” or boring, that’s a pretty big red flag. Someone who can’t respect your opinion is not built for a relationship.
4. Overly Negative
We all have our bad days, weeks, or even months because of various reasons. It’s normal to be negative at times.
However, if every conversation with this person turns into a rant or anything overly negative, that’s a red flag.
5. Always Busy
Being busy is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can even be a green flag. It shows you this person is committed and hard-working.
But, there’s a limit. If they don’t have any time throughout the day, or even the entire week to chat with you just a bit because they’re “always busy”, that can be a red flag.
Especially if you’re constantly trying to keep the conversation going and they don’t reciprocate at all.
6. They Never Flirt Back
The talking stage is not just about talking about your stories. It’s also about building that friction between you two.
So, if you’re a couple of weeks deep in this stage and you try your luck with a bit of flirting and you never get any flirting back, that’s a red flag that maybe they aren’t interested in anything more.
TRY CHECKING:What are the Best Flirty Emojis to Use?
7. Bad-Mouthing Their Family Or Friends
How a person treats their friends and family members can be a good representation of their personality.
So, if you notice that they’re constantly bad-mouthing their parents, siblings, or friends and never saying anything nice about them, this probably means that you will get that same treatment in the future.
Red flag!
8. Talking Down On Themselves
While someone who talks down on themselves isn’t a sign that they’re a bad person or anything like that, it is a sign that this individual might not be in the best mental state at the moment.
You shouldn’t have to carry someone’s baggage that early in a situationship.
9. They Get Mad At Your Slow Response
The talking stage is fun and you probably look forward to chatting with this person once you’re off work. However, there are days when you simply don’t have the time or the energy to even chat and that’s completely normal!
But, if they easily get mad at you because you’re responding late, that’s a pretty red flag. It’s a sign that they don’t have a lot of respect for what you do and your time.
10. A Streak Of “Crazy Exes”
Most of us have had that one “crazy ex”, or maybe even two. But, if the person you’re talking to has a streak of these so-called crazy exes, it’s possible that he/she is the “crazy” one.
How does one person end up in so many bad relationships or with bad partners? That’s a red flag!
11. Heavy Alcohol (Or Other Substance) Use
Letting loose during the weekend and drinking is fine. Practically everybody does it to let off some steam.
However, if you notice that most of your conversations end up being about their partying and heavy drinking every other day, that’s a pretty big sign that they might have a problem.
Hooking up with someone who has a drinking problem is never a good idea.
12. Things Are Moving Too Fast
Turning a fling into an actual relationship always takes time. The more time, the more you can learn about each other and see if you’re a good fit.
If you notice they’re trying to rush things and you see things are moving too fast, that might be a red flag.
But, it’s not a dealbreaker as you can always explain your boundaries and see whether they’re ready to respect them.
TRY READING:How to Properly Ask aGirl for Her Nudes
What to Do If You Think That Your Talking Stage Is a Red Flag
So, after finding a couple of red flags, you feel like the talking stage will or shouldn’t lead to anything more.
In that case, here’s what you should do:
Accept Your Decision
You went through the list above and found those exact same red flags in your talking stage. Your first step should be to accept this decision and stick with it.
Don’t try to dissuade yourself or try to turn things into something casual.
Choose The Right Time
To share your decision with your chat partner, try to pick a good time. The best way to do that is to just tell them you want to talk when they’re free.
Be Direct
You don’t want to waste their time or yours either, so it’s best to be honest and direct. Tell them that you don’t think that you’re a good match and that you should go your separate ways.
Be Respectful
Even though this person has been showcasing a lot of red flags that doesn’t mean that you get to be disrespectful. Don’t put any blame on them, just acknowledge that you’re not right for each other.
Say Your Goodbyes And Wish Them Well
With both of you sharing your thoughts on the topic, it’s time to just end things with a goodbye and wish them luck and that’s about it.
FAQs
How to know if the talking stage is going well?
To know if the talking stage is going well, be on the lookout for the following green flags: They ask about your hobbies, they text first, they’re responsive, they’re a good listener, and respect your boundaries.
How long is an acceptable talking stage?
There is no rule about specifically how long a talking stage should last. However, everything between a couple of weeks to 2-3 months is acceptable.
Everything less is not enough time and anything more than 3 months requires a serious re-evaluation of the situation.
What not to do in the talking stage?
While in the talking stage refrain from talking about your past relationships, past sexual experiences, political opinions, or other controversial opinions. Avoid being too negative or disrespectful.
Conclusion
With a list of some of the most common red flags in talking stages, you should be able to suss out where your talking stage is going.
And with the step-by-step guide above, you’ll know exactly what to do when it’s time to end the talking stage.
Once you’re ready to move on to talking with other people, consider checking out our blog for a lot more tips regarding online dating or dating in general.
You can also download our AI-powered Dating Assistant which can help you avoid showing off any red flags while texting.
