11 reasons why guys ignore you even when they like you - The Expert Editor (2024)

Relationships can be absolutely maddening, can’t they?

Few things make life more fulfilling and worthwhile than the relationships we form with other people. But they can also be our greatest sorrow and frustration.

And it starts right at the very beginning, even before we have formed a solid relationship.

It’s not easy to tell when someone likes you. We all like to pretend that guys are more direct than women when it comes to sharing their attraction, but that’s not necessarily the case.

Often, a guy may do his best to hide the fact he likes you.

Why do guys do this?

Well, it’s complicated. But let’s take a look at some of the reasons why a guy who likes you might ignore you.

1)He’s shy

We all know confidence in a man is sexy. But there’s also something sweet and endearing about those shy guys, too.

When it comes to breaking gender stereotypes, we’ve come a long way in a short time. But the idea that the guy should be the one to make the first move still stubbornly clings on. And that can put a lot of pressure on guys who aren’t naturally confident and outgoing.

If you’re sure a guy likes you, but he seems to want to ignore you, consider the possibility that he’s just shy. Maybe he’s just not the type of guy who can handle chasing someone.

If that’s the case, you may need to consider making the first move.

2)You’re taken

We don’t always get to choose who we are attracted to. And often, we find ourselves attracted to people who are already taken.

When that happens, a guy has a couple of different choices. He can pursue a relationship anyway, hoping to convince you to choose him over your current partner. Or he can let it go.

But often, if the guy knows he can’t have you, he will try his best to ignore you. That’s less painful than having to interact with you in a friendly way when he would much rather be more than friends.

3)He’s emotionally unavailable

Unfortunately, lots of guys just aren’t relationship material.

Emotionally unavailable guys have gone through bad experiences with relationships in past. This makes them reluctant to get into serious relationships with other people because they are not ready for the emotional demands it will make on them.

Instead, they may try to avoid interaction with the person they are interested in to prevent the relationship from going any further.

The trouble is, emotionally unavailable men make lousy partners.

So if that’s why a guy is ignoring you, even though he’s into you, it’s best to take the warning and not pursue the relationship.

4)He thinks you’re not interested

You know he’s interested in you.

But does he know how you feel?

Again, we all have to deal with that societal standard that says men should chase and women should play hard to get. But what worked for our parents and grandparents doesn’t necessarily work in today’s dating world.

If you know he likes you but he seems to want to ignore you, it’s possible that he doesn’t think you’re interested in him.

Therefore, instead of embarrassing himself by trying to form a relationship with you, he’s choosing not to interact in the hope it will make his feelings easier to deal with.

5)He’s scared of rejection

You might be surprised how widespread this is.

The unwritten rules of dating say that guys should be the ones to do the approaching. That exposes them to tons of rejection. And after a while, that constant rejection can start to damage a guy’s self-esteem.

Relationship coach Leon Scott Baxter points out that this is often a barrier that prevents many men from making their feelings clear. The threat of rejection and the blow to the ego it brings makes them try to avoid putting themselves out there.

When that happens, he may be reluctant to take a chance on asking anybody else out. So even if he is into you, he might not feel comfortable making a move.

6)He’s worried about being inappropriate

This one is especially common in an office environment. But it may also happen if you guys are part of a group of friends that would make the two of you having a romantic relationship weird or inappropriate.

Many workplaces frown on inter-office relationships. It can even hurt your career. So it’s possible that a guy who likes you in the office might try not to show it because he’s worried about what the consequences might be.

Alternatively, if you’re part of a group of friends, you may have dated one of his friends before, making him feel strange about pursuing a relationship with you now. Or he may be reluctant to risk the friendship you have by trying for more.

Whatever the case may be, you’re probably not going to figure it out unless you just come out and ask him.

7)His friend likes you too

This one doesn’t apply to all guys. But sometimes, a guy may be reluctant to pursue a relationship even with someone he likes if one of his friends is also interested.

Different guy friends work this out in different ways. Sometimes, it’s a case of letting the girl decide so the best man wins.

But other times, guys might stake a claim on the girl they are interested in, meaning that none of their friends can approach her without risking damage to the friendship.

If that sounds practically medieval, well, it is. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a reason guys sometimes ignore girls they like.

8)He’s intimidated by you

You probably don’t think of yourself as particularly intimidating. That’s because you’re not thinking of yourself from the point of view of a guy.

When you’re attracted to someone, it can be very intimidating even to talk to them. That’s even more true if the person you are attracted to is also smart, funny, and impressive in other ways.

Often, he may even think that you are out of his league, or that he doesn’t have a shot with you.

9) He doesn’t know how to approach women

This is another one that seems to be getting more common these days.

Dating apps, p*rn, and social media have a lot to answer for. These days, many guys think that the way to get a woman interested in them is by sending a graphic picture or a couple of suggestive emojis.

Maybe romance really is dead.

But it’s possible that a man who is into you isn’t making a move because he doesn’t know how. If his experiences with women so far have been mostly online, he may not have a good sense of how to make an approach that is likely to be successful.

10) He’s scared of getting hurt

This is one of the biggest reasons why a guy will ignore a girl he likes.

Men often like to pretend they are not as emotional as women, but the reality is, they feel every bit as deeply as we do.

And if he has had a bad relationship or two in the past, it’s perfectly possible that a man who likes you will ignore you because he’s scared you’re going to hurt him.

We don’t all know how to handle the depth of our feelings sometimes. Often, it seems easier just to pretend you don’t feel the way you do than to face it and risk getting your heart broken.

11) He’s not that into you

Finally, let’s not rule this one out. If he is making no attempt to connect with you or build a relationship with you, it might be that he’s not as interested as you thought he was.

As relationship expert Sabrina Alexis points out, if a guy is really into you, he’ll show it.

He may have his reasons for trying to avoid getting involved, but sooner or later, his true feelings will come to the surface. If they never do, it might be because they were never there in the first place.

There are lots of reasons a guy might ignore you even if he likes you. But at the same time, if a guy is ignoring you, it makes it very hard to know for sure that he is interested.

This is one you’re going to have to give some careful thought to. Make sure that he really does like you before you go jumping to any conclusions about why he’s not approaching you.

Learning to speak guy

Old-fashioned stereotypes say that guys are straightforward and direct, while women are mysterious and temperamental.

But anyone who’s spent any time at all on the dating scene knows that isn’t true. A man’s feelings can be just as unpredictable and powerful as those of any woman he is interested in.

There are lots of reasons why a guy could be ignoring you even though he’s interested in you. Finding out which of these reasons is behind his behavior is going to take some thinking on your part.

Ultimately, if you’re sure this guy likes you, and you like him, there’s no substitute for just getting right to it and talking about it with him.