Even if the relationship was going south anyway, actually ending it can be hard. It’s even more difficult when you thought things were going great and discovered that the other party didn’t agree and wanted to cut off the relationship. Instead of wallowing in grief at the dissolution of your relationship, it’s time to move on and start getting back to normalcy. Here are ten ways to get over a breakup that might actually make it possible to stop thinking about your ex-partner:
1. Remove them from your social media.
Unless you are willing to go on a full social media fast until you are completely over that person and have moved on, you need to remove them from social media. Even if the breakup was relatively amicable, you might still feel a twinge in your heart and your sadness renewed every time you see their name pop up on your feed. And you definitely do not want to see what they are doing in their free time, with new people, just as you don’t want to shove your new romances in their face.
2. Reconsider staying friends.
Can two people who have been in a relationship really be friends? Yes, with time. Probably not immediately. There is always the impulse to try and stay friends, especially if the other person suggests it. Right now, however, you need to think about what is good for you and your mental health. Are you really going to be able to get over your breakup when you are still seeing that person every weekend? It’s going to be awkward and you’re just not going to be on the same page during this stage of the relationship.
3. Call some friends to hang out.
Don’t indulge your desire to just sit in your home by yourself. Being alone right now is going to lead to bad decisions and mistakes. You might find yourself thinking back over your relationship, ignoring the bad and focusing on the good. This is going to cripple your mental health. Having friends around, people you can open up to, talk about the situation, and find solutions with is a great way to avoid doing something stupid just because you are sad.
4. Take a break.
Especially if you were in this relationship for a long time or the breakup was particularly messy, now is probably a good time to take a break from dating. You might feel pressured to get right back out into the world and to start dating again. This can be very bad for your mental health. Not only will you be carrying the baggage of that past relationship into your new one, it’s always a good idea to give yourself some breathing room and to find yourself again.
5. Learn to stop blaming yourself.
Many people will start to nitpick their relationship, trying to find why it didn’t work and what they could have done to make it work. Women especially will beat themselves up about not making themselves perfect all the time for their significant other, forgetting that it takes two people to make a relationship and two people to break up that relationship. The problem was not you— it was that you two were not a good fit. If you, as you are, was not what they wanted, then they weren’t want you really wanted, either.
6. Don’t spend your time trying to fix the relationship.
The relationship is over. Being in a relationship is safer and more comfortable than being single, which leads many people to get back into relationships that weren’t healthy and didn’t make them happy. Instead of scheming to try and get your ex-partner back, now is the time to start focusing on you and your mental health. Are you happy with your own life? What do you want to change or improve about that life?
7. Eat healthy and exercise.
This is not the time to let your health slip. While it’s perfectly fine to indulge in a little bit of junk food during this time of sadness, you are only going to make yourself sadder if you abandon your healthy diet and exercise routine. If you are not eating proper foods, your body is not getting the nutrition it needs to deal with stress, which will leave you even more stressed out than you already are.
8. Get enough sleep.
Don’t force yourself to stay up late or let your anxiety or sadness keep you from sleeping. You need sleep in order to stay functional and stable. If you are having negative thoughts, write them down in a journal and then forget about them. Imagine them leaving your body and being transferred to the paper.
9. Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t wallow in them, either.
What’s the difference? Feeling your feelings is healthy. You deal with them and then move on. Wallowing in your feelings is continually conjuring up bad feelings for yourself, usually by revisiting the memories of your relationship or the harsh things the other person said during the breakup over and over again.
10. Stop obsessing.
While you don’t want to ignore your feelings, you shouldn’t obsess over them either. These thoughts can sometimes intrude on your daily life, but you can tell them to stop, too. You can break the cycle of these negative thoughts and actively divert yourself to more positive, constructive thoughts, which will help you get over your breakup quickly and in a healthy way.
Getting over a breakup is hard, but staying in unhealthy relationships is even harder. Prioritize yourself and what you want and need right now. It’s time to move on and to re-discover yourself. If you want support to get over a breakup, contact Cope Better Therapy Services for individual support.
