10 signs you have an unhealthy relationship with money (2024)

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You constantly worry about not having enough money.

Stefanie O'Connell, a financial advisor for millennials and author of "The Broke and Beautiful Life," said that many people have what she calls a "scarcity relationship" with money.

"The idea that there's never enough underpins everything," she told INSIDER.

O'Connell encourages such people to find examples in their lives that prove they have money flowing freely to them, such as getting a paycheck every week.

"Once they start identifying those examples, it's easier for them to overcome their scarcity roadblocks and find more opportunities for a positive and abundant relationship with money," she said. "When they believe it's possible to have more than enough, they're more likely to seek out more income, savings and growth opportunities."

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Spending money makes you feel guilty.

Feeling guilty about spending money is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship with money, according to Anthony Badillo,a certified financial planner atGen Y Planning.

"Often times, those who have an unhealthy relationship with money have a hard time spending money on themselves because they can't justify it in their head," Badillo told INSIDER. "They experience a lot of guilt for purchases that they make and they can't stop talking about it."

People who feel this guilt often save more than they need to — sometimes to their own detriment, Badillo said.

"They don't spend money on things that would make their lives easier and it's very hard to convince them to do so," he said.

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Or you spend money carelessly.

On the other end of the spectrum, a tendency toward frivolous spending could also be a sign that you don't have the best money mindset.

"For some people, exercising restraint in regards to spending money or delaying gratification is extremely difficult," Badillo said. "It's not always obvious, but if you have a friend or family member whom you know makes a certain amount of money, either because they told you or because you know their profession, and you see them spending far in excess of what they earn, that's a telltale sign of an unhealthy relationship with money."

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You have a lot of credit card debt.

It might seem obvious, but lots of consumer debt is a glaring sign that your relationship with money needs some mending, O'Connell said.

Having high credit card debt makes saving money virtually impossible.

Priya Malani, whoadvises millennials atStash Wealth, told INSIDER that she almost never sees clients saving money if they're paying down credit card debt.

"And if we do, the proportion skewed significantly towards debt pay off," she said. "Anything else and you're just fooling yourself because any of the savings you're doing will ultimately be eaten up by those high interest expenses."

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You feel like you have to spend money to enjoy yourself.

You should be able to have fun doing things that don't involve spending money, experts say.

"Someone who has a healthy relationship with money can separate themselves and their lives from their financial situation," Roberge said. "There is no need to spend money to feel good or enjoy the moment."

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You constantly overspend and make excuses for why it's not your fault.

It's not a good sign if you're always making excuses about your bad money habits, Roberge said.

People who do that "never seem to get out of debt and there is ALWAYS an unexpected expense to deal with," he said. "This is a sign that they are just spending too much in general and don't have a built in buffer to cushion the emergency expenses as they arise."

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You refuse to talk about money.

Not being able to talk about money is a sign that you have stress or anger around the topic, O'Connell said.

"If you have a positive relationship with money, you should be able to talk about it as freely as you talk about any other positive relationship in your life, whether it's your relationship with food, fitness, sex, career, or otherwise," she said.

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You talk negatively about money.

According to Boyd, one obvious sign of an unhealthy relationship with money is if you make "problematic statements about money, like 'money is evil' or 'there is never enough money.'"

"People who express negative beliefs about money tend to have lower self-esteem and experience less satisfaction with their finances, relationships, and careers," she said.

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You can't turn down social invitations when you can't afford it.

Another subtle sign you don't have a healthy relationship with money is "not having the ability to simply say no when it comes to invitations to go out every weekend, dine out, or go on expensive vacations, especially when you know you can't afford it," Boyd said.

Being honest with your friends about your financial situation might actually bring you closer.

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You view money as anything other than a tool.

O'Connellsaid that you should see money as a tool.

"A healthy relationship with money is one in which you are confidently using your finances as a tool to support your lifestyle and work towards your goals," she told INSIDER.

An example of this is someone who is extremely charitable using their money to give back to causes they believe in, Badillo said.

"If someone loves to travel and eat different types of cuisines, they should not be directing their resources toward having the fanciest house, nicest car, or newest gadget, but instead they should be using their resources to travel to their desired destinations and dine-out at restaurants that pique their interest," he added.

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